Monday, June 20, 2016


Speaking of what the nuts are doing...

The Junker Zuhlsdorf has doubled down on his promotion of firearms TRAINING for all of the faithful regardless of gender (how unusual!) so that they might be prepared for what will come. "It's a sporty world out there, my friends, and it's coming your way."


What's a sporty world?
Sporty: "athletic, fit, active, energetic.
I think we can all agree this is NOT Herr Z's point of reference. No judgement here.  No one will ever accuse Father D of being "sporty" either.
Stylish, smart, jaunty, spiffy: "a sporty outfit."  Perhaps he's ..... No. Tactical Clerical attire, sporty?

Falling short of a call to arms, the provocative Prussian Presbyter attempts to stir the Zombies to at least train themselves in the use of assault riffles like the AR 15, even if they will never own one, "get the training anyway."  All that is missing is a convenient link on his sidebar to an online course taught by one of his advertisers which will give Herr Zuppa di Pesce a kickback for the referral. (Have I recently mentioned Mystic Masculine Monastic Coffee & Tea?)

Donations are down so the paranoia needs to be ratcheted up.

Father D is not anti gun. Father has a concealed carry permit in his two  primary states of residence. Father comes from a family of hunters, and his father hunted deer each year for every possible season (rifle, muzzle loader and bow and arrow) which fed our family with venison in addition to wild turkey and pheasant.
Reasonable usage. Moderation.

Saturday, June 18, 2016


As most of you know, Fr D does not moderate comments, nor does he require ID verification. Sometimes it's a problem, but usually things remain pretty sane around here. (Considering Father D's own mental state, that's no small thing!)

Once a post becomes a few weeks old, Blogger requires that I moderate comments on those older posts. Ninety nine percent of the time when I read the email, I approve them all.

Free speech. It's a thing.

Today the previous post became that certain age when comments require attention. So, lazy me figures its time for another post.

I did delete one comment and immediately regretted it, because it linked to this  Fine Traditionalist Catholic Blog with its "F#ck Francis Friday" post.  I am always amazed at the spirits that are at work among the Traddies and Krazy Koverts.  Lampooning and Parody I can accept as a form of criticism and protest, but bile filled hatred has no place in Christian life. Some liberals spew such contempt as well.  It's always good to shine some light on that kind of darkness.

What's your Nutty News lately?

On a more positive note, did you see the statement by Bishop Robert Nugent (yeah that's his middle name) Lynch of Saint Petersburg FL? The same newspaper posted an editorial a couple days later. Too bad Bishop Lynch is of retirement age.

Friday, June 3, 2016

A Word From A Deaconette

One of the best parts of this blog is the readers.  On days that I'm too busy, too tired, too flabbergasted or just don't give two shits, I am usually amused by one or another of the regular readers (or readerettes) 
Today was one of those days. It's been over a fortnight since Father has been to the beach.  (Imagine the spiritual longing my beachritioners are experiencing in their shepherds absence!) 
After a long day that began with Mass (Ordinary Form) at 7:00 AM for some retired nuns (Extraordinary Sisters all long time school teachers and nurses --  great diaconal ministries) followed by teaching a class, then taking a class, then a fish sandwich and a coffee consumed in transit, I spent four hours on a locked hospital unit. (Long over due most will say!) I then returned phone calls before covering a 5:15 PM Mass for a vacationing priest after which I check email related to this blog. (I know I owe a few of you a reply. Your continued patience is appreciated, and will one day be rewarded, I hope.)  
This gem written by "Deaconette" was in the comment section. It is too good to languish there.  As I am unsure of who you are, I couldn't ask permission.  Mea culpa!


Litany for the conversion of internet bullies (version 0.9.1 beta).

(For private use only, when truly irritated, and when the alternative is foul language.)

Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.

Lord, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
God, the Father of Heaven, have mercy on us.
God, the Son, Redeemer of the World, have mercy on us.
God, the Holy Ghost, have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy on us.

So that internet bullies don’t harden their hearts, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t pass their days in splenetic rage, convert them, O Lord.
So that they seek the psychiatric attention they need, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t have a stupid accident while cleaning their Berettas, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t suffer insulin-resistant diabetes, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t scam press credentials for journalists to the LCWR Assembly , convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t buy a brand-new rose pontifical vestment set with matching tactical tunicle before doing any almsgiving at all, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t invent an answer to the rhetorical question “Who am I to judge?”, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t earn their living by peddling books by angry cardinals , convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t earn their living by peddling angry decals and coffee mugs, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t earn their living by begging angry laity for Paypal donations, convert them, O Lord.
So that they earn their living, convert them, O Lord.

That they may have visions of your Blessed Mother, Queen of Heaven seated on her throne robed in blue, convert them, O Lord.
You know, instead of fat men seated on their thrones upholstered in amaranth and scarlet?, convert them, O Lord.
That they wish for mercy and charity instead of $5500 night vision monocles, convert them, O Lord.
That they soon discern their true vocation to the Carthusian Order, convert them, O Lord.

From those who love Latin but hate Latinos, spare us O Lord.
From those who love basilicas but hate Pope Francis, spare us O Lord.
From those more preoccupied by the multiplication of fishwrap than of fishes, spare us O Lord.
From unreconstructed ossified manualists, spare us O Lord.
From the unintended effects and the unintended clergy of Anglicanorum Coetibus, spare us O Lord.
From any further enumerated reasons for Summorum Pontificum, spare us O Lord.
From fundraisers for deluxe custom-made Renn-Faire armor, spare us, O Lord.
From sexist linguistic innovations like “deaconette”, spare us O Lord.
From lengthy tutorials on complaint letters to the Vatican, spare us O Lord.
From Self-Absorbed Promethean Neo-Pelagians, spare us O Lord.
And especially from Mundabor, spare us O Lord.

From unproductive open-ended graduate studies, Lord save us.
From exile on a distant continent in a Dursleyan room at a steampipe distribution center, Lord save us.
From gout, obesity, obsequiousness, hostility to hospitality workers, and all forms of narcissistic petulance, Lord save us.

St. Michael, sorry to bother you.
St. Gabriel, sorry to bother you.
Holy Guardian Angels, didn't mean to interrupt.
St. Nunilo, very sorry to bother you.
St. Alodia, you too. You have no idea.
St. John the XXIII, defend us.
St. Paul the VI, defend us.
All y’all angels and saints, just go back to playing your harps, ok? Thank you.

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, grant us peace.

V. Christ, Jesus who died for our sins.
R. Are you sure dudes like that should be Your priests and bishops? Just saying.

Alright stop, collaborate, and listen.
Jesus came back with a brand new edition.
Or if you prefer, 
Let us pray.

O Lord,
We beseech thee,