Friday, June 3, 2016

A Word From A Deaconette

One of the best parts of this blog is the readers.  On days that I'm too busy, too tired, too flabbergasted or just don't give two shits, I am usually amused by one or another of the regular readers (or readerettes) 
Today was one of those days. It's been over a fortnight since Father has been to the beach.  (Imagine the spiritual longing my beachritioners are experiencing in their shepherds absence!) 
After a long day that began with Mass (Ordinary Form) at 7:00 AM for some retired nuns (Extraordinary Sisters all long time school teachers and nurses --  great diaconal ministries) followed by teaching a class, then taking a class, then a fish sandwich and a coffee consumed in transit, I spent four hours on a locked hospital unit. (Long over due most will say!) I then returned phone calls before covering a 5:15 PM Mass for a vacationing priest after which I check email related to this blog. (I know I owe a few of you a reply. Your continued patience is appreciated, and will one day be rewarded, I hope.)  
This gem written by "Deaconette" was in the comment section. It is too good to languish there.  As I am unsure of who you are, I couldn't ask permission.  Mea culpa!


Litany for the conversion of internet bullies (version 0.9.1 beta).

(For private use only, when truly irritated, and when the alternative is foul language.)

Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.

Lord, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
God, the Father of Heaven, have mercy on us.
God, the Son, Redeemer of the World, have mercy on us.
God, the Holy Ghost, have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy on us.

So that internet bullies don’t harden their hearts, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t pass their days in splenetic rage, convert them, O Lord.
So that they seek the psychiatric attention they need, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t have a stupid accident while cleaning their Berettas, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t suffer insulin-resistant diabetes, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t scam press credentials for journalists to the LCWR Assembly , convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t buy a brand-new rose pontifical vestment set with matching tactical tunicle before doing any almsgiving at all, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t invent an answer to the rhetorical question “Who am I to judge?”, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t earn their living by peddling books by angry cardinals , convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t earn their living by peddling angry decals and coffee mugs, convert them, O Lord.
So that they don’t earn their living by begging angry laity for Paypal donations, convert them, O Lord.
So that they earn their living, convert them, O Lord.

That they may have visions of your Blessed Mother, Queen of Heaven seated on her throne robed in blue, convert them, O Lord.
You know, instead of fat men seated on their thrones upholstered in amaranth and scarlet?, convert them, O Lord.
That they wish for mercy and charity instead of $5500 night vision monocles, convert them, O Lord.
That they soon discern their true vocation to the Carthusian Order, convert them, O Lord.

From those who love Latin but hate Latinos, spare us O Lord.
From those who love basilicas but hate Pope Francis, spare us O Lord.
From those more preoccupied by the multiplication of fishwrap than of fishes, spare us O Lord.
From unreconstructed ossified manualists, spare us O Lord.
From the unintended effects and the unintended clergy of Anglicanorum Coetibus, spare us O Lord.
From any further enumerated reasons for Summorum Pontificum, spare us O Lord.
From fundraisers for deluxe custom-made Renn-Faire armor, spare us, O Lord.
From sexist linguistic innovations like “deaconette”, spare us O Lord.
From lengthy tutorials on complaint letters to the Vatican, spare us O Lord.
From Self-Absorbed Promethean Neo-Pelagians, spare us O Lord.
And especially from Mundabor, spare us O Lord.

From unproductive open-ended graduate studies, Lord save us.
From exile on a distant continent in a Dursleyan room at a steampipe distribution center, Lord save us.
From gout, obesity, obsequiousness, hostility to hospitality workers, and all forms of narcissistic petulance, Lord save us.

St. Michael, sorry to bother you.
St. Gabriel, sorry to bother you.
Holy Guardian Angels, didn't mean to interrupt.
St. Nunilo, very sorry to bother you.
St. Alodia, you too. You have no idea.
St. John the XXIII, defend us.
St. Paul the VI, defend us.
All y’all angels and saints, just go back to playing your harps, ok? Thank you.

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, grant us peace.

V. Christ, Jesus who died for our sins.
R. Are you sure dudes like that should be Your priests and bishops? Just saying.

Alright stop, collaborate, and listen.
Jesus came back with a brand new edition.
Or if you prefer, 
Let us pray.

O Lord,
We beseech thee,


  1. Bravo, Deaconette!

  2. That fat old sponges may die badly, Good LORD hear us!

  3. Fabuloso!

  4. Night vision monocle...order soon...only one left in stock.

  5. Saints Fidgeta and Pudibunda of Upper Bosmia, rack over the coals the scarlet covered appendages that sorely oppress those in need and give us a good laugh from time to time, we beseech Ye. (Yeah, I know ... plural of Thee is You).

  6. Thank you Readerette for these devout sentiments of popular 'hard identity' Catholic piety. You are so uncannily in tune with Zorro the Barcelona Boy as he messages from afar:

    "Do not be afraid to bend yourself down before God. Address the angels and saints as your intercessors and patrons.

    Be simply pious.

    Man (NB: Readerette take note) was made to be pious.

    This is the essence of Religion: to give due reverence to God.

    Without piety we are empty shells.” (Z must know a great deal about the latter)

    - The June 1 message from Lacy Boy to the devoted and deluded payers.

  7. "I’m slightly cynical at the moment, but I am in Spain as I write. And… I am not sure why that would make my cynical, because I’m having a great time."

    Zildo's Iberian pleasure cruise continues...
    Do they allow golf carts along the Camino de Santiago? If no, then I don't think we'll see any photos of it from Doughbob Loadpantz.
    Another '(t)wink, (t)wink', 'just sayin!' post from the FULL-TIME MINISTRY of this ROMAN CATHOLIC PRIEST:

    "Sometimes a photo is worth 5000 thousands words.
    His Holiness didn’t too happy with the tiara, which was lovingly made by women.
    Remember when the Pope was in South America and he received the “crucifix” in the style of a global symbol of the violation of human rights?
    Okay… a photo out of context doesn’t tell the whole story."

    How edifying, "Father". Where does this guy get off? He's gonna need an extra 30 minutes from that Catalan masseuse to rub this one out before dinner... or is that too long to wait? Maybe some sangria and tapas while at the massage table overlooking the playa, pardon me: platja de barceloneta.
    "Oh and Raül! Or are you Rubèn? Just don't forget to shake the Walburga before applying and don't get cheap on me!" [lots of surface area on this Beached Belching Beluga]

    1. "I'm a little teapot short and stout." His shit is beginning to read like the closing monologue of Anthony Perkins in Psycho.

    2. .........yes, he's as harmless as one of those stuffed birds.

    3. And he's actually one of those stuffed birds. A turkey I think, but I digress:

      At Heat Street, Damian Thompson asks: “Is the Pope Catholic?”

      That site is a mess to read, so let’s see some of it here. My emphases and comments:

      Is the Pope Catholic? Here’s Why Many of Pope Francis Flock Aren’t Sure.
      Pope Francis, we learned this week, will take part in a service next year to celebrate a great moment in Christian history.

      The Reformation. Yes, you read that right. ‘Pope celebrates Reformation’ sounds like an Onion headline, but it’s actually going to happen – when Francis travels to Sweden next year to mark the 500th anniversary of Martin Luther’s first furious broadside against Rome. (The Human Beetroot chimes in with the commentary in red): [Here’s one Catholic who won’t be celebrating the Reformation. I’ll be flipping to the back of my Missale Romanum for Votive Masses Pro fide propagatione, and ad tollendum schisma and contra persecutores Ecclesiae….]
      Liberal Catholics, liberal Protestants and the secular media will cheer when he does so. They will drown out the groans of traditional Catholics for whom this is yet another feelgood stunt by a pope who isn’t interested in theology.
      The Beetroot concludes with the accustomed moralizing bleat: [That doesn’t sound like an unqualified “Huzzah!”, does it?]

    4. But Father, you may say. Zed was baptized into confessional Lutheranism. Was he one of the non-sectarians who call all forms of Protestantism "Lutheran." His particular denomination may not have had valid baptism at all, which is why he is so fearful of the old ghosts. Thus his ordination "invalid and illicit." Therefore he would be simulating his Votive Mass, and his excommunication would be reserved to the CDF. Hopefully he would get things straightened out while Francis is in Sweden.
      Vote-O-Meter. 1. Does a non-priest's homily sound more like a priest if he wears a biretta.
      1. Are liberal Catholics more or less culpable for cutting off the pompoms on a non-priests biretta.

    5. Traditional Catholics have filed charges with the Police in over 93% of the incidents of removing pompoms from biretta's by ANY means. (FYI: One ingenious (and characteristically lazy)Liberal used a battery powered hedge cutting tool for multiple headpieces).
      Liberal Catholics have filed charges in a little over 14% of the time. (A majority of the charges filled by Liberal Catholics were filed by Rev. Hugalot who has been sending pompoms to Mexico in exchange for what he calls sage).

    6. If you burn sage and play PODCAzT 146 backwards it distinctly says, "Luther" and "Biretta."
      Rev. Bruce Hugalot

    7. 6:04 AM. He recently posted he was baptized "Lutheran." Deciphering that statement means he was with the Liberal (Swedish) Lutherans. (Which might mean a few less balloons from former Missouri Synod Lutherans. Although I hear the Missouri Synod was glad he joined the Roman Church, and gave a substantial donation for his initial junket to Italy, when learning by word of mouth that he needed a ride to St. Louis.)

    8. Spanish Evangelical Lutheran Home Page have been giving positive reviews to Francis' encyclical now that Zed is in Spain. Probably hoping he visits Eastern Catholic Churches (around lunchtime) instead.

    9. Could have been a rendezvous in Spain with Burke's Melkite Club and EU motorcycle gangs for distribution of fake brand name vestments and aluminum siding.

  8. THREE CHEERS FOR DEACONETTE!! One of the best posts here EVVUHHHHHH!!!

  9. ...."I am not sure why that would make me cynical".
    Among the demons who set themselves in opposition to the practical life, those ranged first in battle are the ones entrusted with the appetites of gluttony, those who make the suggestions of avarice, those those who entice us to seek human esteem. Evagrius of Pontus

    1. "Just as it is possible to remember water with thirst and without thirst, so it is possible to remember gold with greed and without greed, and similarly in the case of other things".

  10. I appreciate the kudos but I can't take credit. I plagiarised Monty Python's Flying Circus. Also Vanilla Ice and Fr Z, but I'm not sure you technically can plagiarise those boys.

  11. And while Diaconette the Bard has been doing the serious work of work, Lard Ass has been in the Barcelona Bullpit taking selfies, gutsing himself silly and laughing his head off at the idiots who continue to fund not only his 'rests' in Gotham but his 'vacations' in Imperial Rome and the Province of Ibera:

    Janol says: (probably an extra from the Superman series)

    4 June 2016 at 10:16 AM

    "Reminds me — How was the bullfight? :)"

    The Sybarite, quietly seething at the reminder, self-absorbed as ever and as flash as a rat with a gold tooth, fires back:
    "[Fights, as it turns out. Fantastic! I’d happily go again. Next time I’ll bring cigars.]"

  12. Aristophanes' AddendumJune 4, 2016 at 8:45 PM

    And more as frjim counters Lacy Boy's Madrid Bull Dust:

    Jim:frjim4321 says:

    4 June 2016 at 5:11 PM

    '[Fights, as it turns out. Fantastic! I’d happily go again. Next time I’ll bring cigars.]'

    I’m happy to hear that!"

    Matador Boy:
    "[Okay… let’s meet in Madrid sometime and I’ll buy the cigars. Bullfights are amazing events.]"

    Nothing quite like the pique and fury of an exposed and sprung self-indulgent crass materialist like the Bullpit Boy. It's a sight to behold.

    1. Madrid: Home of Los Bravos--Black is Black

  13. Meanwhile Rev'd Mother protests that she is not sedevacantist as she bashes Pope Francis. Perverted love?

  14. Gin & Tonic is at it again doing his termite job on Pope Francis and, as ever, is a funny as a bag full of farts:

    "Can some intelligent reader suggest a way in which, without creating such a misunderstanding, I could emulate the Holy Father's new and exciting typographical usage?

    Just a moment: I've had a brilliant idea: could we not commission a Revised Standard Version Even-More-Catholic-Edition lectionary in which, within the Decalogue, the terms "Kill", "Adultery", "Steal", "False Witness", "Covet" will all be printed within inverted commas?

    And how about a new liturgical convention: whenever the priest, or deacon or subdeacon, has to read/sing some unBergoglian judgmental term in the silly old Scriptures, he will (first having made a moderate inclination to the crucifix) turn towards the people and make the conventional "inverted commas" sign (putting both his hands up by his ears and waggling the index and middle fingers) ... Ecclesia Dei must lose no time issuing a formal decree to this effect ... we shall need a new edition of Fortescue O'Connell ... preachers will need to get into the habit of doing the same thing during homilies ... perhaps the entire congregation should do it during the Pater noster when we get to the word "Evil" at the end ...

    There! I bet some of you doubters out there never thought this pope would usher in a great new era of ritual innovation and pedantic rubricism!!!

    Viva il Papa!!

    Posted by Fr John Hunwicke at 10:49

  15. El Capitan ZZZZ eeeezz back. Yes, the Toreador, still high on bull dust, Havanas and barrels of tinto:

    From Barcelona via Amsterdam:

    "It’s good to see that your bag is on the plane with you (hopefully with everything you packed still in it.)
    They tell us our flight time is only 7:30. Quick. And we are leaving early, to boot.


    I’m back in these USA.
    Customs went smoothly, my bag was one of the first off the plane, and I did security in a flash. HINT when flying to DTW from abroad if you have TSA PRECHECK: There is no PreCheck downstairs. BUT… you can go upstairs to the regular security area. If there is a big line stacked up because more than one jumbo arrived and Fred and Wilma – not so familiar with travel – multiplied by 500 are keeping that line nice and slow, just go upstairs."

    1. Travel tips from Lacy-boy would not come in handy to his minions. They cannot afford to walk across the street.
      Elizabeth D. posted the other day describing the hovel in which she lives.

    2. I think that the just smart enough to be stupid Lacy Boy will begin notice that his camp followers who are economically struggling are becoming disturbed, even scandalized, by his ostentatious, grasping consumerism, inflated sense of clerical entitlement and self-indulgence.
      He's been playing some kind of a guilt game with his $$-o-meter over the last two months having failed to extract the $6K he wanted on top of the other scams.
      His ACTION ITEM campaigns for pontifical vestments, Swiss guard breastplates, birettas for surging seminarians etc appear to have become causes for great disappointment to the sine-cure.

  16. Years ago I saw a news report about a priest in Georgia, USA, who had the cure of three parishes. Every Saturday and Sunday he had to minister to his varied parishioners. He put thousands of miles on his poor vehicle.

    I ask myself why this mother f..k.. gets away without doing any priestly work while that poor bastard is killing himself in Georgia.

    1. Can't answer your question, but you wouldn't want to inflict him on anyone, would you? Somewhere recently, maybe on here, I saw that he understood his blogging as ministry. With the material that he puts up there, he's a disgrace. He consistently demonstrates the most narrow view of the Catholic tradition, sad to say a common occurrence among converts, although I don't mean to lump everyone together. His manner of speaking of people who struggle with so many things in their lives, particularly the divorced and remarried, borders on, if is not, sin itself. He takes any opportunity he can get to bad mouth Pope Francis or to mock the pope's closeness to people, his smiling at people ("the most wonderful pope evaah" and things like that), or the pope's attempts from a distance to move the church's ministers to a merciful stance towards people. While pretending to be scandalized by what's happening in the church (false sense of scandal) I believe he genuinely is scandalous in that he leads people to sin in their hearts with the stuff he stirs up. Read the comments.
      And that's HIS ministry. He'd be the first one to say that we shouldn't use the word "ministry" for what lay people do; yet he can't hold a candle to thousands upon thousand of dedicated laity who sacrifice hours of their time to live the Gospel, to serve their faith community, and to uplift the people of God. God bless them and may the Spirit provide an occasion for genuine conversion for this mean-spirited self-absorbed priest.
      Until that happens, he's best locked up in front of a computer somewhere where he doesn't have to come in contact with real people. As for the priest in Georgia, his parishioners are lucky to have him because they probably know he loves them, even if he dies in the process of serving them!!

  17. He might be available to be sent to parishes that might have to close and are experiencing some hesitation. After about 3 weeks........(you would hear saintly old folks softly speaking, "I never met a prick like that before".

  18. Pride, envy, wrath, gluttony, sloth, greed and lust... Your pride is the false throne on which you seat yourself. Your envy is of the love we show the Pope and of REAL priests. Your wrath pervades in all you try to say. You boast of your own gluttony. You're intellectually and likely physically lazy. Your greed is insatiable and your lust for greater title and prestige is not to be fulfilled. Mr. Zuhlsdorf... seven reasons you're an asshole.

  19. Anon 9:52pm on 6/10 has offered probably the best analysis of any kind on this site. Many thanks!

  20. Is there any food left in Spain?

    "Some really good food was consumed in Spain. I was pretty busy and not posting a great deal during the trip so here are some highlights."

    "Calamari and squid ink dipping sauce. That’s a very large gin and tonic… the plural of which is…?"

  21. Elizabeth D
    10 June 2016
    FATHER! Bring me back something from Avila? A St Teresa cookie cutter would be awesome! i would use it! It is probably sacrilegious to bite St Teresa’s head off though. I got a St Teresa 500 years centenary coffee mug with “Nada te turbe” on eBay recently for a good bargain. I do not expect I will ever get to travel to Europe but that is one place I would like to go.

    I have an eggplant that I found Tuesday on top of a recycle bin across the street from the St Vincent de Paul store on Williamson Street, near the Willy Street Coop. I am sure I will make it into baked eggplant fries. My diet involves rather a lot of “found food”. Recently a homeless friend Dave gave me some bananas he had been carrying around with him in his backpack, the least mushy ones I am freezing to make smoothies and the very mushy ones I immediately turned into banana bread. I baked some salmon on Corpus Christi that I found frozen in a dumpster, that was very tasty. I put some lemon juice, dill, garlic, mayonnaise, sour cream, and kosher salt on it to bake (the kosher salt was actually from the very same dumpster as I recall). Not the most delicate way to prepare salmon, I think that was the recipe I had come up with on a previous occasion when I had some dumpster tilapia, but plenty good to me. I found some more tilapia in a dumpster recently and maybe will have to get creative and come up with a fish taco recipe or something. I cannot remember ever buying fish fillets, I just find them occasionally or once in a while for some reason someone will give me some.



    1. Zuhlsdorf doesn't give a damn for people like Elizabeth D. He doesn't give a damn for anyone except himself.
      His contempt for women, however, is the big standout in almost everything he scribbles. HIs seething resentment at the elevation of the feast of St Mary Magdalene is a case in point:

      St Winefride says:

      10 June 2016 at 10:33 AM

      'In any event, so – in the Novus Ordo – Mary Magdalene now has a Feast, which happens also to be the same level as the celebrations of the Apostles.

      Well, she is the “Apostle to the Apostles” after all!'

      Lacy Boy in a rictus of rage: "[That doesn’t make her an Apostle. Didn’t then, doesn’t now.]"

    2. If someone is truly dumpster diving to find a meal, I wonder how she can afford to pay for internet access, unless she is running to the public library to use it for free.

    3. It could be that "D" in an alley has seen Zed going into or coming out of questionable situations (or associating with known mobsters). Unschooled in extortion like Zed, she might be merely prodding his conscience. Although I think in vain, subtleness is an unmarked landscape for Zed.

    4. Interesting!! Is that why Zed always posts photo's of food---(In blundering Zed style) he is trying to smoke out who that was by that dumpster when he was caught red handed. The gloves are off, just needs to know who to attack.

    5. I thought this comment had to be a spoof then I read Gordon Zippo was gobsmacked that she really did write this!
      I'm speechless.

    6. Damn auto correct. That was supposed to be Gordo Zippo.

    7. St. Vinnie is near the costume place, but when Zed goes undercover you always know it's him. Probably stayed in Madison the whole time undercover to catch whoever is removing his backup batteries.

    8. It's a good place to park because it's near the University. If he works the cleric scam he thinks the nods (giggles) are people familiar with his blog; If he wears the silly college joe outfit to find the pulse of youth he gets ideas for his blog for evangelization of 20 somethings.

  22. ^^^^^^my thoughts EXACTLY

  23. Clearly, that was a subtle spoof by Elizabeth D, right? I mean, please Liz, don't be taking fish from the garbage! Now, she may in fact get free food if she works or volunteers with a shelter or soup kitchen - some food donations can't be used for health code reasons but you just nod your head and say, "Thank you!" and then wait until the good Christian leaves before deciding what to do with it.

    And is this a subtle counter-punch by Zorro? Just above Liz D's dumpster diving story? Likely not:

    acardnal says:
    10 June 2016 at 6:23 PM
    What did you think of the Spanish wine?

    [Frankly, I was not terribly impressed. We had a couple good whites and a decent red or two and a good rosado. All in all they all left me wanting more from them. I even spoke with restaurant staff about wines, to get recommendations in the regions we visited. I tried.]

  24. And while Elizabeth D is rooting around in the dumpster in search of another second hand zucchini, Supertradmum who had Lacy Boy drum up a Gofundme for her a few months back, has published a potboiler. Notice just how many HERE clicks the shameless sine-cure entrepreneur has embedded in the notice. One has to chuckle at Lacy Boy's faux indifference to both book and author all the while secretly hoping it will deliver more Amazon rebates than the Five (or was it twelve) Cardinals' comic book:

    "New book by one of our readers here
    Posted on 10 June 2016 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf
    One of our frequent commentatrices here has a new book.

    The Jeweler’s Polish.
    So… there’s this Jeweler… and he’s Polish, right?
    Or is it… a… fine powder used by jewelers called rouge? At first blush, it seems like an ethnic thing. I dunno, pick one and spin the wheel.
    It’s available on Kindle.
    You have a Kindle, right?
    You DON’T?!?
    US… click HERE
    UK… click HERE

  25. Yet more shameful garbage from John Zuhlsdorf. Using the night club attack ("a homosexual night club") to tell his dwindling donors to GO TO CONFESSION.
    Wherein Fr. Z begs bishops and priests to preach unvarnished truths.
    Zuhlsdorf begs, that's for sure.

    1. Yet, I find it good that the man who usually speaks of "sodomites" and uses any other derogatory term he can actually encouraged local readers to donate blood.

    2. The stopped clock is right two times a day.

  26. Mother Mary Patronomia of the Threadbare Fiddleback is presently drowning in a cauldron of her own bats bile:

    12 June 2016

    Papal footwear

    "Sometimes it is suggested that we should see a significance in the fact that the beloved Pope Emeritus, our Holy Father Benedict XVI, continues to wear 'papal white'.

    A historical error is embedded in this proposal. For Popes to wear white simpliciter has a complicated history but, briefly, is a fairly recent innovation. Traditionally, the papal colour was red (with a dash of white undergarment). This is another reason why it was a pity when the newly elected Bergoglio declined to wear the traditional red papal overgarments offered him by Mgr Marini.

    Benedict XVI as pope made his knowledge of this clear by changing the colour of the crosses on the papal Pallium from black to red. And also by resuming the wearing of red shoes. Similarly, and most significantly, he ceased to wear them when he abdicated. He now appears in brown shoes.

    Because he is no longer Pope.

    It is a shame that his successor has given up the traditional chromatic indications that he is Pope. Or rather, has decided that he believes "white means Pope". Such ruptures in continuity (and misunderstandings) diminish the power of all symbolism. But ...

    There is only one Pope, and his name is Francis. And wearing white doesn't make a man a pope.

    Incidentally, white cassocks must show the dirt, and need cleaning, very much more often than a black cassock would. A sympathy for all things ecological would suggest that Pope Francis should give up the wearing of a white cassock. Appearing as an ordinary priest in a black cassock would also be a real sign of humility. Patriarch Bartholomew is not ashamed to appear in black.

    I wonder how old the custom is of the Patriarchs of Moskow and Romania wearing (some) white."

    Posted by Fr John Hunwicke at 10:42

  27. Just used Zzzzzzz Amazon link to purchase sex toys and lube....wonder if he will know what was bought from his link

  28. Zulsdorf is reposting from Huniwick. It is another antigay screed. I hope he rots in hell for his homophobia and hate.

    1. He is already there. Living with terror of discovery and self-hate has already placed him there. And he has no one to blame but himself.

    2. Yes, they are cut from the same cloth that adorns all self-righteous clericalist dullards and pompous gits:

      "Requiescant in pace

      Those who died in the most truly appalling events at Orlando ... may they, through the all-atoning Sacrifice of our most sweet Redeemer and our suffrages, have remission of their sins: we pray this for them as we pray it for all the departed, since as Christians we believe that anyone who claims to be without sin is deceiving himself and the Truth is not in him. This, of course, goes equally for popes and for rent-boys and for you and for me.

      Humanly, we may surely hope that many of those killed in a situation which prima facie may have been at least a proximate occasion of mortal sin, may, through their own ignorance, not have had that full knowledge and consent which would render their deeds and intentions as lethal subjectively as they are objectively. It is a sobering thought that it may be easier for us, who are instructed Catholics, to go to Hell than it is for the uninstructed."

  29. FFLF = Female Fun Limitation Factor
    I guess Z doesn't realize that some men and women have a lot of fun together, that some men really like women and their company, and that women don't always say, "Do you really think you should be doing that?" It is like there is a whole world that he doesn't even know exists inhabited by men he can't even imagine.

  30. For many of the fifty perverts indulging in their abominable so-called “lifestyle” in a mini-Sodom in Orlando, death came pretty much like a thief in the night.

    One hopes – because every soul has infinite value; no matter how abominable the person to whim it belongs – that many of them found a way, on realising their hour rapidly approaching, to manage a perfect contrition. We all know nothing less was necessary to avoid eternal torment in hell.

    We can hope that the Lord, in His mercy, found a way to move many to repentance; but realistically, what took place in the early hours of Sunday in Orlando must have been a rich harvest for Satan, then it is reasonable to assume very many of those killed were so engrossed in their perverted, godless world that the idea of perfect contrition wasn’t within their grasp; that they were, in other words, reprobates.

    Allow me, therefore, to not join in the usual cry after this, obviously, terrible and cruel event. Today, we are not all perverts. I leave it to theologians to discuss the degrees of culpability of the bloodthirsty follower of the “religion of peace” as opposed to the one of his victims. It is, as they say, a quaestio de lana caprina. The victims were marching toward hell just as surely as their executioner, and sin is an offence to God before it is the harming of another human being.

    The victims were offending God in the most gruesome way. Obviously, publicly, disgustingly so.

    I pray for everyone. I call the murderer a murderer, and do not even begin to justify his murderous act. But I refuse to cry for public perverts, too; nor am I willing to shed even a word of sugary “support” for people like them.

    1. Another bad case of psychotic inversion resulting a long time ago as the result of the physical trauma suffered after being kicked in the head mercilessly by a pigeon.
      Don't go off you meds Mundy boy. And stop the other thing. It'll make you go blind.

    2. Yes. Mundy gets a bit over-wrought waiting for the pharmacy arrival.
      Don't worry, honey. Help is on the way.

    3. If it offends God that young people were out enjoying themselves, listening to music, having refreshments and dancing in the hopes of the next day saying the first of ten thousand 'Good Mornings' to one special person with whom they might build a life, then God offends me.

  31. Pray for the victims, that they may have found the strength to save their (literally) sorry ass in the last minute. Every soul has infinite value, and it is God’s antecedent desire that every one of these souls be happy with him forever. But do not for a second give the slightest impression, in your circle of influence, that you sympathise with that bunch of perverts.

    The day of the Lord came like a thief in the night; and no, nowhere in our religion it says that the day of reckoning must come through just, or even lawful ways. The “clients” of Mini-Sodom were, all of them, marching toward hell one minute, and many of them were – thinking soundly – already there in the next. That’s how fast it goes. This is the first thing I thought when I heard. This is what I am not reading absolutely anywhere in the XXI Century Sodom Press.

    Let every pervert who has ears hear. And let it this be a salutary lesson for him, and an infinitely better one than the sugary, emotional, self-satisfied sniffing and crying of those who will accompany them in the place of eternal torment.

    And again, no: today, we are not all perverts.

    1. The most virulent anti-Semites have Jewish blood, the most hateful of the KKK have African-Americans in their ancestry.

    2. It might be overcompensation for dementophobia. (fear of going insane).

    3. Let us pray.

      Pour forth, we beseech Thee, O Lord, Thy serotonin inhibitors into his gut, that we to whom investigatory psychiatry has been made known by the scientific method and double blind studies, may, by Your reuptake neurons, be relieved pf the passion of Mundabor and of every afflicted person of psychotic rage, through the same neuroleptic chemistry. Because, Yo, clearly the lobotomy didn't work. Amen.

  32. Mundy-Boo-boo gets all excited when he condemns people to Hell. As a matter of fact, he delights in it.
    He has been seen fapping late at night while viewing gay porn and at the same time doing his examination of conscience for Confession the next morning.

  33. Mr. Mundabor,
    Remember that it was Lot's wife who was turned into a pillar of salt because she looked back at the city of sin. Be careful or your obsession will paralyze you. Consider getting some spiritual direction that can help you move forward.

  34. This Washington Post article by Bishop Lynch of Orlando is worth some commentary, Father D:

  35. For me, this was the quote that did it:

    Less-than bright people in the MSM talk about the evil “assault weapon” used in the Orlando terror murders. Some say it was an “automatic assault weapon”. In one recording recovered from a victim’s phone you clearly hear the weapon being fired. It wasn’t automatic fire. You can’t tell if that was the handgun or the rifle. The barbaric terrorist wacko had in the week prior purchased an AR-15. If he bought an Ar-15 is wasn’t an automatic and it wasn’t an “assault weapon”.

    The relishing of the variety of murder weapon... the creepy, connoisseur-like discussion of guns... the pursuing of his personal anti-gun control agenda... seriously, liberal or conservative, can anyone defend a Catholic priest talking like this?

    What would his hero Benedict say about this? You can say many things about Ratzinger, but he would never descend to this level.

    1. Seriously, just imagine Archbishop Fulton Sheen reading the following paragraph aloud, or even our old friend Abp Lefebvre:

      An “assault rifle” (the term might go back to WWII) can more accurately be applied to rifles that have a selective fire option, that is, they can be set to fire single shots with a single squeeze of the trigger, or multiple shots with a single squeeze. An AR-15, unless it is subjected to significant modification, is not capable of selective fire. An AR-15 gives you one shot per trigger pull.

    2. And a couple of days earlier when Lacy Boy was spruiking about his carry-everywhere Preppper
      'combat' first aid pack attracted this hair raising and very dangerous, deranged and morally disordered response form a disciple. Note the evangelical style hysteric validations from the Brass Ass pretend priest:

      1. JustaSinner says:
      12 June 2016 at 8:58 PM

      "My everyday carry bag is a nice shoulder messenger bag I got off ebay for $30. Inside I have my 9mm Beretta PX4 Storm (full frame). I also have two extra 17rd mags [not the 20s?] and it is in a clip holster for safety. (Loose gun rattling about a bag is messy at the least.) I also have two packs of Celox, five extra absorbent feminine hygiene pads (learned that in the Marines. Has a non stick side and very absorbent. Nice for gaping wounds and gashed.)"

      The Crass sacerdotal Prepper" "[Good for my larger bags.]"
      The Z-groupie Caveman again:
      "My Gerber sling blade (?) that I modded to flick out with a slight thumb move. Sharp enough to cold shave with…. This goes with me everywhere and always. Looks like I am carrying a purse; but in today’s environment, maybe I’m just beginning the transition? (I’m 6’5″, 280)
      I also have a heavy bag that I occasionally carry, but is always in my Mercedes. It is a backpack bag with plate armor (class IV ceramics with side), my SBR AR-15 pistol, total of 4-30 round magpuls, a class III kevlar helmet, quick clip on holster for said 9mm—has two mag pouch, and two of these rechargeable flash/bang thingeys I got from I don’t remember, but they are cool. 120 dB piercing shriek, with a 5000 lumen blinker. Toogle the switch, toss and wait—FLASH BANG!!!"

      Zuhlsdorf the wannabee Bomb-thrower: "[Oooo I’ve gotta get me some o’ them!]"

      "Ten mylar heat brankets—these take up about three post cards—they are wicked small. Three of the big Celotex packs (35grams?), a bag of said feminine pads in vacuum pack—really small and hard! Also a large sharpie marker. This is great for triage situations—write right on the forehead. The bang I call the ISIS Violator. On my plate armor is the American flag, upside down, A+, my blood type decal, and a reversed red cross, because, well, it’s a cross.
      End note…my 9mm rounds are IMI—Israeli Military Industries produced in Haifa, Israel. My 5.56 all have a thumb shmere of bacon grease on the tips—[]
      My ammo usage, per week, is in the 100-300 range at the range. Practice, practice, practice. Sometimes without hearing protection—won’t be using muffs in a real life shoot out. I figure that St. Michael would like my set up; compact, powerful, and contained."

      You can't make this stuff up. Zuhlsdorf is well and truly around the twist and so no wonder he gets his rocks off through the actual raw violence of some of his supporters.

    3. Pardon me, but where THE F*CK is Diddleback Chazuble going to use flashbang grenades???
      The line at the Chinese Buffet?

    4. I don't know whether to laugh, at the thought of Z going shopping for sanitary pads, or cry, at the thought that this man claims to be a disciple of Jesus Christ.

    5. He has some grave incident(s)being hidden; possibly something he did without faculties, some 'priestly' function he did without authorization that has made him irregular or suspended. But an unreasoning fear has made him believe that he might salvage things by what he calls "speaking the truth." He imagines his self inflicted purgatory is from God directly, so the Church is as usual just a means to an end.

    6. Since we're speculating, can you give an example of doing a 'priestly' function without authorization that would cause a priest to be irregularized or suspended? An example that would fit with Z's professional history?

    7. Being incardinated in an Italian diocese, and hearing confessions in the US.

    8. .........during the year of mercy Francis gave universal faculties (with some reservations) to all priests, once the year is up, they are back to their particular diocesan or religious superior's permitted faculties.

    9. Forget the priest shit, imagine what it does to the penitent, if the priest is just happy facing you without faculties.

    10. The Reverend Ms. Deaconette is speculating, of course. But when one asks oneself how a priest goes from working as a functionary in the Pontifical Commission Ecclesia Dei and living in Rome, to living in his parents' house sans assignment, to living in a Steam-pipe Trunk Distribution Venue, Deaconette speculates it has naught to do with priestly faculties and everything to do with a priest's bellicose nature not being kept under mature control.

    11. I consider Zildo to be on the level of the Borgia Popes in terms of the disgrace to the Gospel he represents. Every single thing about him is loathsome.

    12. The functionary part was just a "test," to see why one would incardinate in an Italian diocese in the first place. It was during the 80's where seminarians could work a scam from the liberal/conservative lens. In retrospect the results were predictable, but the "give them enough rope," test is difficult to reverse scam for those in the not the sharpest knife drawer. Deaconette must realize that in the tumultuous 80's with the Church in disarray a priest only felt good reproducing the familiar angst of the teenage years with Mom and Dad. (Or clerical clout jobs with Mom and Dad surrogates).

    13. The Reverend Ms. Deaconette was soiling her diapers in the 1980's, and did not realize this.

      Still, I speculate Zuhlsdorf is temperamentally unfit for ministry and that there was probably an incident of unfit temper that got him fired from his Vatican job.

    14. Not everyone who works at the Vatican is a "cleric," there are in fact actually deeply spiritual people there (no doubt under cover). Temper for them might be merely the tip of the iceberg,(even a teenage scam) where you go with after would decide what the spiritual problem is.

  36. Chantgirl predicts Buttsecks Reeducation Camps.
    chantgirl says:
    In the future, I would not be surprised to see “rigid” belief in the immorality of various sex acts classified as mental illness, and to see it screened in schools and doctor checkups, adoption applications, and employment selection.

    Doreilly (That's an order!) is the ONLY one praying and claims to befriend every gay man he encounters.
    doreilly says:
    What MSM [Men Seeking Men?] doesn’t get is the Christian conservatives are the ones who are constantly and fervently praying for these victims, not because they were gay, but because they were people killed in a horrific way. Had we encountered them in life we would have befriended them, talked with them, disagreed with them and tried to lead them down that narrow path that we all walk.

  37. Another not so subtle dig at the great Sybarite pretender from not so fawning supporter:

    Peter in Canberra says:

    14 June 2016 at 5:40 AM

    "eat, drink (smoke?) and be merry …"

  38. Zelda, Queen of the Amazon wishlists, has arrived at Hackton U. You see, it's just "U" because you can't call just anything a university. But it DOES sound short for 'university'. Looks like Sirico (younger brother of Paulie Walnuts, look it up) runs a more careful scam than Dean Donald's Trump University.
    Of course, the U's focus is all on God's love... for duty-free interstate commerce.
    Still refusing to get help for his Hyperactive Food Disorder, Zelda treats his CAMP followers a photo of substandard chicken. It's dangerous to go cold turkey! Is there a tapas bar in Grand Rapids?

    1. It's a safety school in case you don't get into Hamburger University.

    2. It's a safety school in case you don't get into Hamburger University.

    3. Interstate: Great way to move the (tax exempt) aluminum siding.

  39. And now Wilbur moves Mr Ed across state lines on yet another equine evangelical expedition to bring to Achtung U a bit of healthy Papal exegesis, a kind of 'Reading Francis through Mr Ed' routine:

    Pope Francis’ latest remarks on the majority of marriages being invalid

    Posted on 17 June 2016 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

    "His Holiness the Pope does like an opportunity to talk, and he readily offers off-the-cuff remarks which, while at times interesting and entertaining and sometimes insightful or helpful – or not – are not moments when he is teaching for the Church in his role as Successor of Peter. A lot of what we hear from the Holy Father doesn’t form part of his ordinary magisterium.

    Now I direct your attention to the canon law blog of Ed Peters for some help with the Holy Father’s words:

    ......Clip clop, clip clop....

    1. deja vu: After the Synod on Marriage comes the Synod on Orders--Zed is sweating. Mr. Ed with his canon law degree with out theology will be a great consolation to Zed. (if six was nine)

  40. No Kudos or gold stars for this one from the great Pretender:

    priests wife says:

    17 June 2016 at 7:51 PM

    "theologically speaking- could we say that many priesthood ordinations could be invalid because ‘how can a man really know what is happening with the sacrament?’ (we Byzantines call it a ‘mystery’ for a reason)- how does it help us married people to say that most are invalid? Heaven help those faithful who have challenges with scrupulosity!"

    1. ......follow the Ecumenical Councils; no priesthood ordination until 30 years of age. Note: In the 4th century a 50 year old was OLD.

  41. Either Father Z's money meter is broken or he has not received one cent in 18 days of June. Of course who knows how much he pulls in from the poor souls who have set up an automatic donation!

    1. Naw. He is getting plenty of cash.
      He could be getting a clue that the IRS or the State of Wisconsin Dept. of Revenue might be interested if any of this is taxable.