Saturday, May 28, 2016

ACTION ITEM: Survey on Female Deacons

For or against, please take this survey.

Can't have Zzzombies bombarding the survey with their own limited view. 

If you're undecided, read more here for a non Zuhlsdorfian perspective. 

Zzzz thinks Zzzombies are so dumb that he must point out with snark and bile, just HOW to answer certain questions. 

Hey, Father D knows his readers are smarter than he is, so I would never be so bold! 

Wouldn't it be great to see the restored Female Deacon assisting in some manner at the Extraordinary Form of the Latin Rite?  I think so!  

And if you ever come across a survey by one of the Traditional groups, let Fr D and our loyal readers and readerettes know.  Like Fr Zzzzz , says, we should be as supportive and as helpful as possible.

Hagan lio! Right?


  1. I am very much in favour of women deacons for the Roman Catholic church and filled out the survey with three lefty recommendations for the proposed commision (one of them an Anglican). Bring on the girls!

  2. I filled out the survey and updated my blogger profile.

    -The un-artist formerly known as "Readerette"

  3. I filled out the form and recommended Deaconette as my first choice to be on the proposed commission.

    1. Golly, thanks! I will be on the lookout for the invitation from a bishopling.

  4. While it is a personal anniversary for Zildo T. Baggins and he may be (and feel) entitled to some celebration, I wonder if he fears some kind of catastrophe from 'deaconettes'. Is anyone remotely like Zildo going to be socializing with a woman deacon? These guys only take off their silk dresses to puff on some Cubans together (Messrs R. & R.?). Here's the latest from the slop trough:
    "I was pleased to find rigatoni con la pajata, which involves veal intestine. Yum."

    Rigatoni con la Pajata is a classic dish of Roman Cuisine. The dish can be found in some traditional trattorias in Rome. Pajata is the term for the intestines of an "un-weaned" calf, i.e., only fed on its mother's milk. The intestines are cleaned and skinned, but the chyme is left inside. Then the intestine is cut in pieces 20 – 25 cm long, which are bound together with white thread, forming rings. When cooked, the combination of heat and the enzyme rennet in the intestines coagulates the chyme and creates a sort of thick, creamy, cheese-like sauce. These rings can be served simply seasoned and grilled (pajata arrosto) or in the traditional Roman dish in which pajata is stewed in a typical tomato sauce and served with rigatoni.

    1. Zildo... Think of how that veal calf suffered for your gluttony. I pray for your conversion often but not without remembering your victims who support your slobbering, failed journey.

  5. done. all my responses were the correct ones.

  6. I am still ambivalent on women deacons, but would wholeheartedly support women SUB-deacons. I think that it is where they most fit theologically in the Church--having no real duties and spending most of the Mass holding the gold paten (with a veil, NEVER touching it!) while the consecrated host lies on linen, which they need permission from NON-SECOND ORDER priests to wash. (Unless the host would lay on the gold paten all the time and then they would be out of a job--both holding and washing.)

    1. And what irked Zed, is that a Deacon (or subdeacon) is actually a liturgical minister; unlike Zed, who takes up space (a lot of space?)in the sanctuary dressed in his (non-ordained cleric) surplus.

    2. A non ordained cleric surplus can be worn with a stole (on the outside!!!) so it looks like a concelebrant with a short alb.

    3. Subdeacons? That screws up Zagano's low end military intelligence connections' plans. (Possibly even Zed's low end middle management curial/mafia connections' plans). There is no such thing as a Cardinal SUB-Deacon, only Cardinal Deacons.

    4. Look at the reality of it! Look at the logistics! As a never non ordained cleric Deacon, I found wearing deacons vestments by those who use copious amounts of cologne unsettling--am I to feel slightly more nauseous with Chanel No. 5?

    5. 4:57. Good idea. Or women might be ordained only Minor to Orders.(Subdeacon is minor order in Armenian rite) This way everyone will be happy and can grin like possums AND be theologically relevant for folks in their 80's and for those in their 20's looking for stability in their lives. With a larger number of Ordained Minor Ordered NON CLERICS more spiritual largesse can be divided between 1950's hairstyles for women AND computer enhanced reissues of the Wild One with Burke's imprimatur for men.

    6. You have come full circle. Minor Ordered NON-CLERICS, (If I understand the logic) are N.O. Instituted Ministers without 1950's hairstyles, who actually function in an ecclesial service. Unless you are speaking about old time Minor Orders who just waited around jamming up the sanctuary doing nothing--What, like Zed? Or you might mean giving women do-nothing ministries and THEN dissolve the ministries (along with the women) because they are obsolete and not useful. I think Zed would hold his peace on the latter, it would be what he would call a plan. I also hope Zagano will open a Zed mirror site--blogging might be inserted as an obsolete Minor Order.

  7. Surplice, I think you mean. Likely a pesky 'auto-correct' typo.

    A wonderfully appropriate malapropism regarding Lay-Z-Boy:

    noun: surplus; plural noun: surpluses
    *an amount of something left over when requirements have been met; an excess of production or supply over demand.
    "exports of food surpluses"
    synonyms:excess, surfeit, superabundance, superfluity, oversupply, glut, profusion, plethora; More
    remainder, residue, remains, leftovers
    "a surplus of grain"
    antonyms: dearth
    *an excess of income or assets over expenditure or liabilities in a given period, typically a fiscal year.
    "a trade surplus of $1.4 billion"
    the excess value of a company's assets over the face value of its stock.

    adjective: surplus
    *more than what is needed or used; excess.
    "make the most of your surplus cash"
    synonyms: excess, leftover, unused, remaining, extra, additional, spare; More
    superfluous, redundant, unwanted, unneeded, dispensable, expendable
    "surplus adhesive"
    antonyms: insufficient
    *denoting a store selling excess or out-of-date military equipment or clothing.
    "she had picked up her boots in an army surplus store"

    1. WWZD.........tanks, it must be bad weed!

    2. ........although Zed's surplus is unneeded, or out-of-date for a surplice. .....and a slight adhesive liability in the warmer weather.

  8. Generalissimo Lard Ass is in Espana, the home of the Inquisition, Franco, Opus Dei, Cardinal Canizares and lots of Bull, lots of it. "Lacy Bull in a China Shop" is copping some incoming from a number of $$$$$Donors who are disgusted at his intention to see watch a bull fight. I wonder if he intends to show up at the arena in some of that recently acquired red pontifical drapery:

    Muv says:

    30 May 2016 at 1:14 PM

    "Congratulations on your first visit to Spain, Fr Z! God willing, it will not be your last. Try and visit the Museo Sorolla in Madrid and see the works of Joaquin Sorolla. Outstanding.

    Bullfights are best enjoyed on TV in bars, preferably while tucking in to a nice rare veal steak. That way you will get all the action replays."

    Tauri Stercora rationalizing:

    "[Many sports are like that. However, at some point you have to go to a live event, get the whole thing so that when you see it on TV you have the rest of it too.]"

    1. He starts off the post on Spain by saying he got in too late and so only had a few snacks. He must eat all the time.

    2. I guess I stopped reading too soon because I didn't see the mention of the bull fight.

      How revolting. Really. Sometimes I think his posts are funny, but the combination of the nonstop gorging and attending a bull fight is just more than disgusting.

      WWPS? (What would Paul say?)

      Z's probably never read the Bible. Hands too greasy from all the gorging can't turn the pages.

    3. What's the bet the surging Sybarite won't take up this suggestion possibly from one who is tired of shovelling Lard Ass' BS:

      Wm Hesch says:
      30 May 2016 at 4:15 PM

      "Perhaps you might consider chaplain-ing a group of the readership on the Camino to Santiago de Compostella?"

    4. How is Liz still allowed to comment on Z's blog? More remarks like this, young lady, and you'll be banned!

      Elizabeth D says:
      30 May 2016 at 12:57 PM
      It’s immoral to attend animal bloodsport fights.

      She's not the only one:
      Janol says:
      30 May 2016 at 1:10 PM
      “BULL FIGHT!” Grief.

      After drooling over the milk-filled intestines of an unweaned calf, Zero is PUMPED to head to the bloody arena and see a man in a flamboyant outfit with a huge red cape(!) torture a cow to death.

      Small pecker? Spanish bullfight? Zildo's junket is a Hemingway parody!

  9. Some more reasons why someone should tap Gin&Tonic on the dandruff coated shoulder and have a word with him receiving some remedial theological education, help in dealing with his inner rage, passive aggression followed by a comprehensive course in good judgment and decent manners:

    31 May 2016

    The Pope and the Spirit

    Mgr Pinto, Dean of the Roman Rota, claimed last year that "The Jubilee Year of Mercy expects this sign of humble obedience (on the part of the Church's shepherds) to the Spirit who speaks to them through Francis". There had, you will recall, just been a "synod" at which some of the Synodal Fathers had, er, actually started shouting! Good gracious me! Shouting, when the Spirit Himself was just the other side of that microphone! Naughty! Naughty!

    Oh dear, I thought. Here we go again. Here it is again, that dreadful old 1860s and 1960s-style maximalising view of the Papacy ... against which both Newman and Ratzinger in turn, in their respective contexts, wrote so sensibly. Wasn't it that daft Wilfrid Ward who wanted to have a new papal pronouncement to read as he ate his breakfast egg each morning? What a mercy for the poor chap that he didn't live in the Age of the Domus Sanctae Marthae Papacy. He would soon have grown sick of his breakfast eggs.

    Of course, the Holy Father himself would not subscribe to this preposterous sententia Pintiana.

    But I do sometimes feel a trifle nervous that his modes of expression could, by a critic less favourable than myself, be misread as Pintian. What generates this uneasy apprehension is incessant talk about the Spirit which links Him with a Newness which seems to be involved in unspecified but explosive changes in the Church's settled Doctrine and Praxis.

    "... they were closed off to these signs of the Spirit and resisted the Spirit. They were seeking to justify this resistance with a so-called fidelity to the Law, that is, to the letter of the Law".

  10. "Father D! Fatty McButterpants, special assignment from America Magazine. Twelve-hundred loyal readers of America Magazine want to know..."

    Do you expect to continue blogging after you finish your double Negroni or go back to full-time ministry?

  11. Well, having been gob-smacked at finding out that a candidate for a Ph.D actually needs to earn it by producing work up to the required standard. Lacy Boy was under the impression that the Patristicum would simply award the degree on the basis of his auto-constructed academic competence, universal fame and reputation as a staunch defender of 'hard identity' Catholicism.
    The best he might expect now is a doctorate 'honoris causa' awarded by aged Benedict junkies in 2041.

    1. Or as Johnny Carson once said during a monologue that was bombing, "Why don't I quit folks....because I'm show business."

    2. Patristicum is run by the Augustinians--the O.S.A.'s.
      Recently deceased Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek graduated from an Augustinian school--is Zed trying to make contact again. (Food, animal sacrifice, necromancy)

  12. I believe it's the deacon's job to lead the faithful in prayer?

    Litany for the conversion of internet bullies (version 0.9.1 beta).

    (For private use only, when truly irritated, and when the alternative is foul language.)

    Lord, have mercy.
    Christ, have mercy.
    Lord, have mercy.

    Lord, hear us.
    Christ, graciously hear us.
    God, the Father of Heaven, have mercy on us.
    God, the Son, Redeemer of the World, have mercy on us.
    God, the Holy Ghost, have mercy on us.
    Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy on us.

    So that internet bullies don’t harden their hearts, convert them, O Lord.
    So that they don’t pass their days in splenetic rage, convert them, O Lord.
    So that they seek the psychiatric attention they need, convert them, O Lord.
    So that they don’t have a stupid accident while cleaning their Berettas, convert them, O Lord.
    So that they don’t suffer insulin-resistant diabetes, convert them, O Lord.
    So that they don’t scam press credentials for journalists to the LCWR Assembly , convert them, O Lord.
    So that they don’t buy a brand-new rose pontifical vestment set with matching tactical tunicle before doing any almsgiving at all, convert them, O Lord.
    So that they don’t invent an answer to the rhetorical question “Who am I to judge?”, convert them, O Lord.
    So that they don’t earn their living by peddling books by angry cardinals , convert them, O Lord.
    So that they don’t earn their living by peddling angry decals and coffee mugs, convert them, O Lord.
    So that they don’t earn their living by begging angry laity for Paypal donations, convert them, O Lord.
    So that they earn their living, convert them, O Lord.

    That they may have visions of your Blessed Mother, Queen of Heaven seated on her throne robed in blue, convert them, O Lord.
    You know, instead of fat men seated on their thrones upholstered in amaranth and scarlet?, convert them, O Lord.
    That they wish for mercy and charity instead of $5500 night vision monocles, convert them, O Lord.
    That they soon discern their true vocation to the Carthusian Order, convert them, O Lord.

    From those who love Latin but hate Latinos, spare us O Lord.
    From those who love basilicas but hate Pope Francis, spare us O Lord.
    From those more preoccupied by the multiplication of fishwrap than of fishes, spare us O Lord.
    From unreconstructed ossified manualists, spare us O Lord.
    From the unintended effects and the unintended clergy of Anglicanorum Coetibus, spare us O Lord.
    From any further enumerated reasons for Summorum Pontificum, spare us O Lord.
    From fundraisers for deluxe custom-made Renn-Faire armor, spare us, O Lord.
    From sexist linguistic innovations like “deaconette”, spare us O Lord.
    From lengthy tutorials on complaint letters to the Vatican, spare us O Lord.
    From Self-Absorbed Promethean Neo-Pelagians, spare us O Lord.
    And especially from Mundabor, spare us O Lord.

    From unproductive open-ended graduate studies, Lord save us.
    From exile on a distant continent in a Dursleyan room at a steampipe distribution center, Lord save us.
    From gout, obesity, obsequiousness, hostility to hospitality workers, and all forms of narcissistic petulance, Lord save us.

    St. Michael, sorry to bother you.
    St. Gabriel, sorry to bother you.
    Holy Guardian Angels, didn't mean to interrupt.
    St. Nunilo, very sorry to bother you.
    St. Alodia, you too. You have no idea.
    St. John the XXIII, defend us.
    St. Paul the VI, defend us.
    All y’all angels and saints, just go back to playing your harps, ok? Thank you.

    Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
    Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
    Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, grant us peace.

    V. Christ, Jesus who died for our sins.
    R. Are you sure dudes like that should be Your priests and bishops? Just saying.

    Alright stop, collaborate, and listen.
    Jesus came back with a brand new edition.
    Or if you prefer,
    Let us pray.

    O Lord,
    We beseech thee,

  13. Elizabeth D
    10 June 2016
    FATHER! Bring me back something from Avila? A St Teresa cookie cutter would be awesome! i would use it! It is probably sacrilegious to bite St Teresa’s head off though. I got a St Teresa 500 years centenary coffee mug with “Nada te turbe” on eBay recently for a good bargain. I do not expect I will ever get to travel to Europe but that is one place I would like to go.

    I have an eggplant that I found Tuesday on top of a recycle bin across the street from the St Vincent de Paul store on Williamson Street, near the Willy Street Coop. I am sure I will make it into baked eggplant fries. My diet involves rather a lot of “found food”. Recently a homeless friend Dave gave me some bananas he had been carrying around with him in his backpack, the least mushy ones I am freezing to make smoothies and the very mushy ones I immediately turned into banana bread. I baked some salmon on Corpus Christi that I found frozen in a dumpster, that was very tasty. I put some lemon juice, dill, garlic, mayonnaise, sour cream, and kosher salt on it to bake (the kosher salt was actually from the very same dumpster as I recall). Not the most delicate way to prepare salmon, I think that was the recipe I had come up with on a previous occasion when I had some dumpster tilapia, but plenty good to me. I found some more tilapia in a dumpster recently and maybe will have to get creative and come up with a fish taco recipe or something. I cannot remember ever buying fish fillets, I just find them occasionally or once in a while for some reason someone will give me some.