Wednesday, March 16, 2016

ASK FATHER: Confession and Travel



"FATHER, I HAVE A SERIOUS QUESTION...

A priest is on a train travelling south from Boston's South Station at 65pmh to Penn Station in New York City. One hour after Train 1 leaves South Station, Train 2 departs from Penn Station heading north at 50mph filled with passengers seeking to GO TO CONFESSION.
The dining car on Train 1 offers 16oz 'Gansett tall boys for $9 each and the priest aboard Train 1 can consume 2 beers for every 1 bowl of free popcorn.

QUESTION: Will the priest make it to Veselka on 2nd Avenue before closing time?

Father D replies. Pay attention young priests and seminarians.

  1. YES! He will make it, because when Father travelz by rail, especially to a meal, he alwayz removes hiz collar and juzt wearz hiz tactical blackz, so no one bxotherz him. If no one is paying, Father ain't praying. Even for confession. That's what parish clergy are for. Father sayz GO TO CONFESSION! Not to ME per se, but to ones parish priest.

75 comments:

  1. Mr Ed, the talking Canonist, gets into the old mutual admiration routine and insider banter with Wilbur the Obese and Indolent:


    Dr. Edward Peters says:

    15 March 2016 at 8:52 AM


    “… yesterday – being Sunday – was a work day for me and that, after the morning duties, I had flights to catch and airports to ‘enjoy’ and that I was posting from my phone… I just didn’t get to it.”

    Yeah. Right. C’mon, you just hate Vatican II."

    Wilbur, replies with a simple equine recognition quip to the Neighing Canonist: "[Oh yah? ACTON INSTITUTE!]"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sunday was a "work day" for a Canon lawyer?
      So, what does he do? Set up a card table in the vestibule and tape a paper sign on it saying, "Canon Law advice, here" ?
      Peters and Lacy-boy are vying for the "Most Pretentious Award-2016".

      Delete
  2. Dare I ask about the quiddity of Veselka? Does it have anything to do with Vladyka?

    Mr. Ed and Wilbur! Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  3. i've eaten in veselka. if it's your goal to put on some pounds, this is the spot for you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Veselka is open 24 hours!
    !http://veselka.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Another repeat from the Comedy Channel, "The Screaming Kids at Mass and do parents fulfil their obligation by taking them out for extended periods?" episode:

    Dr. Edward Peters says:

    18 March 2016 at 2:29 PM

    Clip, clop, neighhhh: Mr Ed: '“Do I fulfill Mass obligation if I take screaming child out for a long time?” Yes.'

    Poncing Wilbur: "[Acton.]"

    ReplyDelete
  6. ordinary penitentMarch 18, 2016 at 5:01 PM

    dear Fr D, I hope you will hear confesions on the train if someone asks. I guess priests are busy, but don't worry. I don't really understand the stuff about the trane, but I hope you have a good trip.

    ReplyDelete
  7. When will this rapacious bastard ever been sorted out?

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    ReplyDelete
  8. Complain to the nuncio.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully the new nuncio will be at least a little more responsive than the current nuncio. Hopefully.

      Delete
    2. He will have time to deal with the little monsters in the clergy rather than sucking up to the anti-gay types like Kimmie Davis.

      Delete
  9. The poor man ( Fr. Z ) eats way too much meat, and could very well be a subject for the widow maker, as it were. He should take advantage of the current fast and do so until Pascha on 1 May since he seems to have done a piss poor job of the wimpy Romish fast. God grant him many years! ( what would this blog do without him?)

    ReplyDelete
  10. After a 2 beer buzz priest would head over to Santos Party House dance Club its Bi-level, call Veselka's for carry-outs and hear confessions on the upper level.

    ReplyDelete
  11. When Rev'd Mother is good, she is very good. Her comments on metre today are very interesting. Indeed I think that she should publish a booklet with her amusing techniques for teaching metre. She also offers insights on the Latin hymns and their Greek influences. Instead of worrying about Pope Francis perhaps Rev'd Mother should spend more time on her area of expertise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Hirsute Tugid one usually reserves his metrics to gauging the level of Gilbey's left in the gin bottle.

      Delete
  12. Z is up to his usual passive aggressive tricks. He's now stating that Blessed Oscar's veneration should be limited to El Salvador along with his innuendo that his martyrdom was not so real.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's because he's a major douchebag. He can't help himself.

      Delete
    2. He's a graceless, soul-less, self-absorbed dullard and cretin.

      Delete
    3. "The moderation queue is ON". I want a t-shirt that has his Pasta-eating photo on it with that caption.

      Delete
  13. Also...

    "There was a DNS attack on the blog today.

    There were 383 pages of log entries from one IP address make multiple queries per second.

    Just so you know… the devil and his agents hate this blog."

    Just so we know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it wasn't for all of Fr. D's clout, Z and all the photographic memory crowd would have had a number of bishops ban this blog.

      Delete
    2. I've noticed that too, reproducing what's going on in their head for them is the same as reality. (Denigrating EF as a form of therapy) What ever happened to Pius XII's critique of Psychology.

      Delete
    3. ....it went the way of the 1917 code of not confessing to a priest who doesn't understand. (Just found out what "Las Vegas Faculties" are!)

      Delete
    4. Pray tell, what is meant by "Las Vegas Faculties"?

      Delete
    5. Roulette or poker, all games of chance. Going to a priest who doesn't understand, like Z, all games of chance. Possibly why gambling was banned in the Middle ages.

      Delete
    6. Either Z is doing a poor imitation of a 1930's B movie carnival barker, or he learned nothing at the Tulsa conference with anointing (making contact) with the dead. There is some script (or grimoire) that keeps repeating itself in Z grams. Sedaka's book?

      Delete
    7. Sedaka will be at a Fallsview Casino in Niagra Falls April 2. Used to be the area of Stefano "the Undertaker" Magaddino, Buffalo.com. Don't know if he was anointed.

      Delete
    8. Sedaka will be at a Fallsview Casino in Niagra Falls April 2. Used to be the area of Stefano "the Undertaker" Magaddino, Buffalo.com. Don't know if he was anointed.

      Delete
  14. The 'Sensus catholicus' is not providing comfort for Lacy Boy today as the vote count goes against the script. No doubt the wriggle, spin and rationalisation will follow. Either that or the Great Silence will be observed:


    The 2016 Holy Thursday EXTRAORDINARY Form Mass I attended ...

    included the foot washing rite, and males and females were chosen. (41%, 27 Votes)

    did not include the foot washing rite. (27%, 18 Votes)

    included the foot washing rite, and only males were chosen. (20%, 13 Votes)

    involved everyone being invited to do something to someone else. (6%, 4 Votes)

    included the foot washing rite, and only females were chosen. (3%, 2 Votes)

    some other non-standard innovation. (3%, 2 Votes)


    Total Voters: 66



    The 2016 Holy Thursday ORDINARY FORM (NOVUS ORDO) Mass I attended ...

    included the foot washing rite, and males and females were chosen. (49%, 32 Votes)

    did not include the foot washing rite. (26%, 17 Votes)

    included the foot washing rite, and only males were chosen. (14%, 9 Votes)

    some other non-standard innovation. (5%, 3 Votes)

    included the foot washing rite, and only females were chosen. (3%, 2 Votes)

    involved everyone being invited to do something to someone else. (3%, 2 Votes)


    Total Voters: 65

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She was tossing her hair and clutching her pearls about the foot washing thing. ( It is an annual thing with this guy. )
      She saw fit to publish a pic of a foot washing somewhere where the unwashed laity were partaking. "This ISN'T Catholic !!!" she screamed.

      His masseuse will be working overtime tonight loosening his "knots".

      Delete
  15. Can we do an over/under pool on when Zzzzzz starts complaining about the Pope on Holy Thursday?

    ReplyDelete
  16. In the SSPX today seems to be a high holy day, but over at Liturgiae Causa the blogger has other ideas. Quite amusing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Patrick is a mentaly ill faggot...what does he know

      Delete
    2. My God, why did I have a look at that blog.

      Delete
    3. Never visited L. C. before....it mentioned Sedaka, maybe they will go and see him in Niagra Falls along with Zed.

      Delete
  17. That was a very rude remark. I hope Anonymous 4:20 PM never has to deal with mental illness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 4:20 pm sounds like an intensively conflicted Mundabor if that isn't an oxymoron.

      Delete
    2. O well fuck him and u too...pax vobis

      Delete
  18. Today is one of the times I realize why I was attracted to Zzzz's blog in the first place. He has an informative entry on the Exultet along with an audio of him singing the Exultet in Latin. It is truly a beautiful prayer, almost hauntingly beautiful. It makes me wonder if one can get beyond the world view that it represents and still love its beauty and imagery. It leads Zzzz to a clericalism that is so alien to me, but I am still drawn to it. Oh the mystery. Anyway, Happy Easter to all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's not Zed, that's a Italian Deacon.

      Delete
    2. The Exultet is over 1200 years old and is the PRIMARY responsibility of the Deacon. In the ABSENCE of a Deacon, it can be sung either by the priest who is presiding, or by a Concelebrant.

      Delete
    3. I'm sure it is Zzzzz.

      Delete
    4. The unwashed laity doesn't know it is the primary responsibility of the deacon, and if they do, Zed would merely say he is working a scam to find liberals.

      Delete
  19. Pearls amongst swine?

    ReplyDelete

  20. Fr Jim, pastor bonus, whereat Lacy Boy becomes apoplectic and lapses into pouting resentment:

    frjim4321 says:
    24 March 2016 at 9:49 PM

    "Nice people.
    Females and Males.
    Various ages.
    All had one left and one right foot washed.
    Water was nice and warm and scented with Orange/Ginger soap.
    Three male servers; 10, 20 and 38 years of age.
    One male Master of Ceremony.
    Six EM’s, all adults, male and female.
    Communion under both species.
    Reservation procession at the end about the best ever.
    A bit of drama, a person passed out during communion but was okay.
    Homily was based on the readings and the April 11 Papal Bull of Pope Francis’.
    Mercy as the heart of the gospel and the heart of the church."

    frjim4321 says:
    24 March 2016 at 9:50 PM

    Oops … “nice people” = “nine people”

    And the Harpy:

    Kathleen10 says:
    25 March 2016 at 8:11 AM

    "Thanks to all who shared they voted in the wrong poll. I was dismayed.
    I avoided the whole mess by staying home. The popes Mass was no consolation at all."


    ReplyDelete
  21. Mother Angelica, dead at 92. RIP.

    ReplyDelete
  22. So, Z is actually a deacon incardinated in that Italian diocese, residing in Madison, I was always wondering why he never posted his Celebret, but is always talking about faculties. Some time ago it was mentioned you mostly see him in a cope, assisting the assistants who are assisting.

    ReplyDelete
  23. If Zzz is a deacon that could explain why he pretends to have a thing with Zagano, who found out about him through her low end Military Intelligence connections--she is trying to get Zzz to fess up. That also explains why he can travel so much which is the privilege of a diocesan priest with an STL. And it appears he is always going on and on and on about father this and father that to throw off the unwashed laity, because other (Latin Rite) deacons are aware of the "working on my degree" scam. But I am still confused with the cope, he may only be a Subdeacon with Las Vegas faculites as a straw deacon, or an Instituted Acolyte who flunked out but has read most of the literature on the internet, mostly from the Wanderer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He said his name is on the list in that other diocese, you can always use a dead priests name when introducing yourself, it is a help to get invited to speak in another diocese and can be a benefit when negotiating fees. Like, who carries around a directory? Even the priests in Velletri-Segni are probably not all fluent in English--although I never met one, and like most priests if you keep smiling they never catch on.

      Delete
    2. What if Zzagano is actually blogging for Zzz, and Zzz is just a construct of our imagination.

      Delete
  24. ....he might be just the head Sacristan, sort of like Franz Joseph, the emperor sacristan--thus the conservative connections--because he is always talking about vestments and colors and whatnot. No doubt one of those Novus Ordo sacristans since he makes demands in English and not in Latin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In German the book was called "Religionsfond". Maybe Fr. D can post a copy so Zed won't have to borrow Sedaka's. Back to the French and German connections.

      Delete
    2. An internet forum Canon Law Made Easy has a piece on "How can you tell a real priest from a fake." This was brought about by the fiasco in California. I never seen a real celebret myself only on Google Image.

      Delete
    3. Good tip, thanks. Majority of US Bishops are canon lawyers, rare exceptions for bishops are Doctorates in Liturgy or Spirituality. If it wasn't for the middle management in the chanceries, these guys would be the most reasonable to to deal with vs. Z and the bullshit.com squad. I am thinking of the line in Jesus Christ Superstar, "you know his movements, we know the law."

      Delete
    4. I think most of the Eastern Catholic Bishops in the US are NOT canon lawyers, and now with the new ruling of married eastern catholic (diocesan) priests permitted, the Latin (canon lawyer) bishops might start on women religious again.

      Delete
  25. But what of the claims of being ordained by St. Pope JP2? Wasn't he in the same group as Corapi?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was ordained a priest by Pope Saint John Paul II and he is listed as a priest in good standing of Velletri-Segni and as a priest working full time in the Madison diocese.

      In the Old Rite it was common for a priest to take the role of deacon or sub-deacon for a high Mass. This was prior to the permanent diaconate being restored in the Latin Church. Thankfully, deacons are more common today.

      Delete
    2. I read someplace where priests vesting as deacons was prohibited by the Council of Trent, I don't remember where though. But the US bishops never enforced the rule because it used to aggravate the protestants. And to pull a real deacon or subdeacon out of the seminary would mean he would have to make up classes in the summer, and pre-vatican II seminarians would rather be at home with mom and dad during the summer, instead of ministering in the parishes--what? preparing them for priesthood in overstocked rectories as basketball coaches and bus drivers. The deacons who complained where given the "your not happy with us scam." Happily those superiors left after the council.

      Delete
    3. I read someplace where priests vesting as deacons was prohibited by the Council of Trent, I don't remember where though. But the US bishops never enforced the rule because it used to aggravate the protestants. And to pull a real deacon or subdeacon out of the seminary would mean he would have to make up classes in the summer, and pre-vatican II seminarians would rather be at home with mom and dad during the summer, instead of ministering in the parishes--what? preparing them for priesthood in overstocked rectories as basketball coaches and bus drivers. The deacons who complained where given the "your not happy with us scam." Happily those superiors left after the council.

      Delete
    4. No wonder the Pope has such a hard time moving the careerists. They are apprehensive about driving a bus again--most licenses are now expired and they will have to retest, plus the bishops won't let them joing the Teamsters.

      Delete
  26. Will have to buy all new bus driver uniforms unless the Pope allows the 234 different prelate of honor piping on the shirts and pants legs. Also the new buses don't play cassettes any, so they can't blast truck driving jams w/o buying brand new CD's--It's going to be expensive; possibly Zed will help with the cash--at least for the top 74 ranks.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I heard Vatican Radio will play top 40 and the commercials will be religious so those of tender ears won't be scandalized. The old uniforms (if they are allowed to keep them) will be opportunity for vocation work when and if they stop at McDonald's. They serve beer at E.U. McDonald's which should only be visited during Lent for the wine drinkers. They might keep a flask under the seat like the old timers, but am not sure if a twenty behind the license will have any effect with the police/policia.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Finally rolling with that plan, I always wondered why Bono met with JPII.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Fr. Z's already planning for his twenty-fifth ordination jubilee. Will Fr. D a fraternal gesture be sending a gift from all of us? I thought of offering some cacti for the obvious reason that I dare not write on this August site. Any other ideas?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spinning pineapple?

      Delete
    2. Fr. D might set him up with a good band. I don't like these religious affairs where you just eat and drink and bullshit. That's why 25th anniv. are always great for a Louisiana Cajun priest--less food more music.

      Delete
    3. I think that a new set of pearls to clutch would be appropriate. His current strand must be ready to snap.

      Delete
    4. A 5 gig flash drive of back to back polka Masses without sound interspersed with Sedaka sound bites from YouTube.

      Delete
    5. A great gift for any 1950's Liturgical buff would be the new CD of all the Leave it to Beaver TV shows overdubbed into Latin.

      Delete
    6. Better Fed-Ex overnight that new strand of pearls for lacy-boy to clutch.
      She is having a tizzy today about Pope Francis encouraging concelebration at the Latin Mass.
      The hair-tossing is intense.

      Delete
    7. A brand new Shirley Maclaine stethoscope.

      Delete
    8. Is it still April 1 ? I'm guessing that's the answer.

      Delete
  30. More grizzling, whining and anti-social fulminations from Lacy Boy the Sybarite stuffing his face silly while waiting for another 'My-view-for-awhile' excursion.
    Let us not be surprised that he is off to the M. Angelica send off in Alabama for a brown nose and photo op.:


    UPDATE:

    "I may rush after all… at least to a different corner of this lounge. The woman in the corner has been shouting down her phone – rapidly – and without breathing – for about 30 minutes.

    Parents:
    Please, I beg you, teach, train, form, discipline your children not to “up talk”. For love of all that is decorous and good, beat them if you must, just don’t let them “up talk”.
    The human race thanks you in advance.
    Meanwhile… she wins… I’m moving. GAH!

    UPDATE:
    Ridiculous."

    ReplyDelete
  31. Zildo can't stop, won't stop posting about FEET and how he really, really would prefer to never see or touch a woman's foot.
    It seems like something bordering on obsession.
    Fortunately, he has male-only 'nautical fiction' to soothe his nerves.
    'I'm The Greatest Captain' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CWVJ8Ve724

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't want to touch ANYONES feet no matter the gender.
      But it reminds me of a classmate in high school who when he learned Father Kelly was going to wash the altar boys feet, ran to the basement to wash his foot. Turned out he washed the WRONG foot!

      Delete