Saturday, January 30, 2016

NEWS AND VIEWS: WTF is goin' on in yous guys lives....

Hello morsels. 

It's been a long time since Father has posted. As you can see, its been a rough winter. You see, Father has had a hemorrhoid flair up that has kept him off his ample ass. I've been under an order by Vladyka Eureka of 
Topeka to stay off my ass and on my feet in either personal prayer, liturgy or in service to others. (Not to mention my three days off each week spent making myself available to those surfers and beach goers seeking confession and council, but I digress!
So even though my special doughnut seat cushion has yet to arrive by UPS from my Amazon Wishlist (thank you Venerable Canon for said gift) I'm making the painful sacrifice to sit at my computer and type this post. ( or I'm at the beach typing on my tablet with one finger.... who knows for sure? Who really cares as long as I spill the beans, so to speak?)

So, for the record, NO, I have NOT taken the job as chaplain for those fine sisters engaged in an avant guard  healing ministry out in California. 

Here is a new post so ya'll can chime in on what you hear and read without having to wait for comment approval. (Blogger automatically holds comments for review on older posts.)

For all you arse kissers and up and comers still humbly seeking to climb the ladder (that leads only to the chute straight to perdition) reserve (and pay for) your tickets now for the Rector's  Dinner in April. Contact the Office of Institutional Advancement (that's Fundraising and Cash Flow for those that don't read Latin!)
for more information. 
SPECIAL NOTE TO TALENT SCOUTS: There is a preview video available for this years tap dancers and soloists.  Please inquire.

Be sure to tell them Uncle Jim sent you.

Father has heard some whispers about a new student anthem at the NAC. We've found one rendition that we will share with ya'll.


  1. Speaking of rough winters......The whole Diocese of PVD is in emotional turmoil over the loss of Buddy Cianci.

    One specific cycloptic troll is delighted with his passing, especially when Budy told stories (in print) of sending out the police to pick him up from under the "pick up bridge" and return him to the cathedral rectory and the love and affection of his two poodles.

    The present ordinary will preside over the burial, out of the cathedral, with complete fanfare.....after all, as one presbyter put it....they church has buried much worse than Buddy.

    Between trips to West Palm and the kick off of the follow up to last year's failed Catholic Charities....the winter is passing.....but never my thirst for black coffee, cigarettes and of course, single malt scotch.

    1. Excellent words, Janet!!! And I think you're often spotted in that Florida airport in your lavender sweater-over-the-shoulders and matching your pumps, aren't you, Luv?

    2. Do all the PVD monsignori winter in Palm Beach? Does the diocese have a condo here? Last year the Emeritus and his particular Portuguese friend spent time here "helping out" when the local bishop was sick.
      Perplexed Priest in Palm Beach

  2. Z's most recent ask father sounds completely made up or there was a deacon there, and the person who wrote the question has no idea what deacons do.

    1. Among Z's multiple identities are: 'a priest friend,' 'my very good friend Bp, Msgr, Fr, XXX,' 'a seminariarian' 'a dying seminarian,' 'a father of fifteen home schooled kids whose wife if dying of foot and mouth disease.'
      He does occasionally drag the 'deacon' parrot from its cage usually in order to inflict pain on it.
      Behind it all is, I think, the Chameleon's generic persona, the hand wringing, knuckle cracking hysteric, Dorothy Dix (resuscitated).

    2. I suspect at least half of the "Ask Father" questions are self generated as a way to address shit that gets under his skin.
      He's got his lips so firmly pressed against the Ordinary's extraordinary ass and have heard from priests in Madison that they are two peas from the same pod.Though no one seems to know what's holding up incardination.

    3. Hey Father - Would you want to risk a liability like Zilch? Morlino might be cut from the same cloth but he is not an idiot.

    4. One of the nastiest "Ask Father" ones was him trashing a young woman who went to a Evangelical camp and participated in a certain rebaptism type ritual. I certainly hope that that was a figment of his sick mind and that it didn't really happen.

  3. But Father, but Father! Don't you know there is a new rector of the PNAC being installed this very weekend? I hear this one even believes in God and doesn't smoke cigars to satisfy his oral fixation like his predecessor.

    1. Fr Jim, commenting on why priests decline the episcopate, continues to tangle up the Great Pretender in his own Lacy. The latter would not comprehend how someone could turn up such a world of extravagant and ornate Baroque drapery, to so nothing of the lavishly funded prospective entitlements and near endless ‘My-view-for-a-while junkets to Brooklyn and Roma.

      frjim4321 says:
      2 February 2016 at 8:12 PM
      It’s a thankless job.
      That’s why I turned it down.

      The wannabe Monsignor barks back: ["If so, thank you very much".]

      frjim4321 says:
      3 February 2016 at 6:23 AM
      [If so, thank you very much.] …
      LOL you caught my little joke!
      I wasn’t specifically “asked” but I was offered the “track” and turned that down.
      From what I’ve seen, it really does seem very lonely at the “top.”

    2. Miss Zuhlsdorf... Does a real priest watching make you nervous?

    3. Jim not only has Lacy Boy nervous, he's got the pretender by the gonads:

      1. frjim4321 says:
      3 February 2016 at 10:28 PM
      Lacy Boy's smart ass jibe:[If so, thank you very much.] …

      Fr Jim again: "You assume that I would not be a good ordinary?
      Actually, I would work hard to build cohesiveness among the presbyterate.
      I would consider it my highest obligation."

  4. Looks like Buddy's funeral is going to be an extravaganza ending up in what I consider the world's ugliest cathedral. I wonder if +Louis will be doing one of the final absolutions. Maybe +McVinney could be aroused again from his tomb now near Banigan Chapel to do another absolution.

    1. Just absolve Buddy and head over to the "Little Italy" of PVD: Federal Hill for some tasty Timballo del gattopardo or Ostriche arrosto or Sfogliatelle. Stop! My mouth waters for all the wrong reasons!

    2. Did Buddy leave a bad taste in your mouth?
      Better use caution, that mouth can get you into trouble!

  5. All of the middle age through young big shots in our diocese are NAC graduates. Most of them DUMB as SHIT. They're not sent because they're bright but because the Bishop, who comes from another part of the country and doesn't give a shit what happens to our diocese, is another big NAC nut (oh and did I say he hates Francis? Like most NAC girls do?). Totally useless gang from a totally useless place. Hey if William Henry O'Connell made a great rector, so did Dummy Dolan, and the freak you've pictured here.

  6. The outrageously grasping, effete and feckless agnostic sine-cure is back on the 'lean-day' routine having extracted $5000 already out of the upwardly revised $6000.

    "Now… thanks to all of you who have been sending donations or items from my wishlists. I am deeply grateful to all my benefactors for whom I regularly say Holy Mass.
    As a matter of fact, I will designate ASH WEDNESDAY’s Mass, in the evening, 6:30 PM, 10 February, for the intention of my benefactors. For those of you in the zone, Mass will be at St. Mary’s, Pine Bluff. Mass will be in the Extraordinary Form.
    Also, some of you subscribe to send a monthly donation. Some days well-subscribed and some are rather lean. Today is a lean day… perhaps because not all months have a 31st day, I don’t know. There are only three people signed up for the 31st. *heavy sigh*
    If you use the blog regularly, please consider subscribing for a monthly donation.
    Some options

    Also, as a bonus, I get the opportunity to gain an indulgence for praying for benefactors. In the Enchridion Indulgentiarum conc. 24:
    Preces pro benefactoribus
    Partialis indulgentia conceditur christifideli qui, supernaturali grati animi affectu ductus, orationem pro benefactoribus legitime adprobatam pie recitaverit (e. g. Retribuere dignare, Domine).
    Retribuere dignare, Domine, omnibus nobis bona facientibus propter nomen tuum vitam aeternam. Amen.

    1. I thought of you when I read that and was awaiting your comment.
      And his overly dramatic heavy sigh. Lean days my ample ass! Not that I'm one to talk, but that fat bitch hasn't had a lean day in at least a decade!
      Those poor folks in Pine Bluff!

    2. Agreed.
      "Lean" and Lacy-boy cannot be used in the same sentence without a loud guffaw of derisive laughter.

    3. Lacy Boy's next "Lean" will, as usual, be on his poor feckless disciples and my guess it will be soon and it will be another entitlement demand for funds to pay for his next Business class My-View-for-a while- junket to Rome. (He has to hit the ground running don't forget!) He has just extracted $7000 for the purple Pontificals and surely, the Villetri-Segni 'I - know - Italian' sine cure would not entrust the drapery to the postal system.
      Just my guess. After all, it's been weeks since the last R & R.

  7. Alas, the news is that Buddy Cianci is still dead.

  8. The latest:

    Get your wallets ready! Operators are standing by!
    Zildo plugs monks he met at boozy NYC party!
    Remember those guys with the beer fridge in the basement? (right there, see photo)
    Well, their frothy product is finally available in THESE USA! And you can get some yourself by subscribing to their beer!

    May I make a suggestion? After signing up for your own membership, how about getting a membership for the priest or priests at your local parish? A subscription or two might help Father get a men’s club going, such as the one at the parish where I help on weekends, the monthly Pints and Pipes meeting.
    ...Our Pints and Pipes usually also involves another P...
    ...such as Pizza, or in the summer months, Pistols – before the Pints, of course.

    There is a blonde and a dark. They are both great. I’ve had both, both in events for the monks in these USA and also in Italy. Once, I was with a pilgrimage group which went to Norcia. The monks put out for us their beer along with local sausages and cheeses, etc. It was magnificent.

  9. WWZD, When you say plugging do you mean promoting this hooey sounding home brew or LITERALLY plugging the boozed up monks?

    1. Two birds, one stone!
      Whatever it was, Z and the BrewBunch were all smiles:

  10. I love a good beer ... but if Z is flogging this, I'll save my taste buds for the stuff from Spencer, where I spent a week discerning once. That'll show him!

  11. A plug for the double entendre!

  12. Let not support the rector's dinner and not see the seminarians perform. How will they handle real ministry (outside the chancery) if they are supported. It's more support for the seminarians if they see the bishop eating on the trunk of his car.

  13. Mail order intoxicating beverages, interesting. May well be entirely legal in Europe but in the US this could be illegal. What safeguards are being used by Z to assure minors are not buying and consuming this?

  14. Zuhlsdorf you ignorant slut. Bill Donohue supports pedophile priests hiding them from justice.

  15. ***FAT TUESDAY***

    Z's latest post for Fat Tuesday:

    Today is Shrove Tuesday, a day upon which many would seek to be “shriven” before the beginning of Lent. In other words GO TO CONFESSION!

    I am providing these
    [5 minute daily podcasts] again this year especially in gratitude to benefactors who help me and this blog.
    REMINDER: Tomorrow evening at 6:30 PM CST, Ash Wednesday, I will say Mass for the intention of my benefactors.

    Father D, maybe you should schedule a "Mass for the intention of my benefactors" and post it in the parish bulletin! CHA-CHING!

  16. I'm not a fan of Fr. Z and quit even checking his page years ago, but why all the bile and catty bitchiness? Talk about neurotic!

    1. ^^^^^^ Why don't you read Mr. Zuhlsdorf's site before coming here to condemn?