Saturday, October 31, 2015

SPOOKEY WORLD: Skeletons Spirits and Haunts

Happy Halloween

Vigil of All Saints

My my my....
Hello Friends. As you know by now, I don't get out much. I'm not complaining!  I think that both the Church, and myself, are both much better off for it! 
I DO enjoy a guest now and then. Let's face it, the best guests are those who only stay for fifteen minuets or less, and who stop in the gift shop for some Father D Swag on their way out!

$14.99 such a deal chums!

ONLY $29.99

Thought you might like to see a few of the little creeps kids visiting the hermitage this evening.  You see, this is a VERY Catholic neighborhood and the kids KNOW that Father D isn't going to give out treats to demons and pop idles idols so they come ringing the guest bell dressed appropriately!

I think this one was going for the Bing Crosby look from Going My Way.
Not so sure he nailed it.

Skeletons, spirits and haunts,
Skeletons, spirits and haunts.
It's a Halloween sale:
A nickel a pail
For skeletons, spirits and haunts.

Hell fire and brimstone preaching from the 1730's 1930's
Skeletons, spirits and haunts,
More than most anyone wants.
Will you pay for a shock,
'Cause we're quite overstocked
On skeletons, spirits and haunts.*

And this little one brought his friend in costume too!
Nice detail work. But I like the Carmen Miranda outfit this
one wore last year better. No points!

Of course, you get more candy,
if you know how to dress up for the Zildo Kreep
if  you get my drift
It’s over to Z’s house to play
Pretending the Old Mass to say
Cut Zildo some slack
And he’ll welcome you back

As a big UPS man some day!
I thought this one had a girl with him but it turned out to be his beard.

Perhaps that was scariest of all.

Yes. More than most anyone wants!

Anyway.... Enjoy the rest of the night and have a joyous and blessed All Saints Day on Sunday!

by Shel Silverstein

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

This Time, Peripheries With Irony

of the

Archbishop of Bologna
created Cardinal by Benedict XVI
Carlo Cardinal Caffara

Archbishop of Bologna
appointed by Pope Francis
Bishop Matteo Zuppi

Auxiliary Bishop of Rome
Member of the Sant'Egidio Community
"Community Without Borders
Prayer * Evangelization * Peace
and Service to the Poor
beginning in church"

Archbishop of Palermo
created Cardinal by Benedict XVI
Paolo Cardinal Romeo

Archbishop of Palermo
appointed by Pope Francis
Father Corrado Lorefice
Priest of the Diocese of Noto
Pastor, Saint Peter the Apostle Church, Modica
Teacher of Moral Theology, Institute of Religious Science
San Metodio of Syracuse

of the
"Oh say, luv, could you pass the Bitter Bag o' Onions?"

(expects "to be named Patriarch of North America by Pope Pius XIII" in order to "clean up our schools" by getting boys to wear pom-poms, dresses, and lace)
The Surging Seminarians' Hats Are In!
and what they'll be wearing with them
(I guess there's no Thanksgiving Day football game
at the Surging Seminary!)

And a free book for everyone
who buys the Surging Seminarians
something to keep them giggling!

Roberta Cardinal Rebecca
A Conversation on Why I Hated the Hut,
Jolted Out of the Jungle,
Badgered My Way Into Benny's Bastion
Then Finagled Frankie Into Letting Me Be
Watchman of Worship,
Captain Magnificent of Cappa Magnas,
Extraordinary Mass Maniac,
and One Mean Scowling Bastard!
Online Today! In Flea Markets Tomorrow!
Sal Francisco: Obnoxious Press, 2015
"The idea of putting Magisterial teaching in a beautiful display case while separating it from pastoral practice, which then could evolve along with circumstances, fashions, and passions, is a sort of heresy, a dangerous schizophrenic pathology: Bergoglio Crap, know what I mean?  I therefore solemnly state that the Church in Africa is staunchly opposed to any rebellion against the teaching of Jesus and of the Magisterium. . . .  The Church of Africa is committed in the name of the Lord Jesus to keeping unchanged the teaching of God and of the Church. Which is why no one has joined the Catholic Church in Africa in about three generations. And why the other Bishops wanted me the hell out of there. Like Arinze before me. Notice we're both at everything in Rome. Would YOU go back there?"
— Robert Cardinal Sarah

Saturday, October 24, 2015


Dear Beatitudes, Eminences and Excellencies,
Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I would like first of all to thank the Lord, who has guided our synodal process in these years by his Holy Spirit, whose support is never lacking to the Church.

My heartfelt thanks go to Cardinal Lorenzo Baldisseri, Secretary General of the Synod, Bishop Fabio Fabene, its Under-Secretary, and, together with them, the Relator, Cardinal Peter Erdő, and the Special Secretary, Archbishop Bruno Forte, the Delegate Presidents, the writers, consultors and translators, and all those who have worked tirelessly and with total dedication to the Church: My deepest thanks!

I likewise thank all of you, dear Synod Fathers, Fraternal Delegates, Auditors and Assessors, parish priests and families, for your active and fruitful participation.

And I thank all those unnamed men and women who contributed generously to the labours of this Synod by quietly working behind the scenes.

Be assured of my prayers, that the Lord will reward all of you with his abundant gifts of grace!

As I followed the labours of the Synod, I asked myself: What will it mean for the Church to conclude this Synod devoted to the family?

Certainly, the Synod was not about settling all the issues having to do with the family, but rather attempting to see them in the light of the Gospel and the Church’s tradition and two-thousand-year history, bringing the joy of hope without falling into a facile repetition of what is obvious or has already been said.

Surely it was not about finding exhaustive solutions for all the difficulties and uncertainties which challenge and threaten the family, but rather about seeing these difficulties and uncertainties in the light of the Faith, carefully studying them and confronting them fearlessly, without burying our heads in the sand.

It was about urging everyone to appreciate the importance of the institution of the family and of marriage between a man and a woman, based on unity and indissolubility, and valuing it as the fundamental basis of society and human life.

It was about listening to and making heard the voices of the families and the Church’s pastors, who came to Rome bearing on their shoulders the burdens and the hopes, the riches and the challenges of families throughout the world.

It was about showing the vitality of the Catholic Church, which is not afraid to stir dulled consciences or to soil her hands with lively and frank discussions about the family.

It was about trying to view and interpret realities, today’s realities, through God’s eyes, so as to kindle the flame of faith and enlighten people’s hearts in times marked by discouragement, social, economic and moral crisis, and growing pessimism.

It was about bearing witness to everyone that, for the Church, the Gospel continues to be a vital source of eternal newness, against all those who would “indoctrinate” it in dead stones to be hurled at others.

It was also about laying closed hearts, which bare the closed hearts which frequently hide even behind the Church’s teachings or good intentions, in order to sit in the chair of Moses and judge, sometimes with superiority and superficiality, difficult cases and wounded families.

It was about making clear that the Church is a Church of the poor in spirit and of sinners seeking forgiveness, not simply of the righteous and the holy, but rather of those who are righteous and holy precisely when they feel themselves poor sinners.

It was about trying to open up broader horizons, rising above conspiracy theories and blinkered viewpoints, so as to defend and spread the freedom of the children of God, and to transmit the beauty of Christian Newness, at times encrusted in a language which is archaic or simply incomprehensible.

In the course of this Synod, the different opinions which were freely expressed – and at times, unfortunately, not in entirely well-meaning ways – certainly led to a rich and lively dialogue; they offered a vivid image of a Church which does not simply “rubberstamp”, but draws from the sources of her faith living waters to refresh parched hearts.1

And – apart from dogmatic questions clearly defined by the Church’s Magisterium – we have also seen that what seems normal for a bishop on one continent, is considered strange and almost scandalous for a bishop from another; what is considered a violation of a right in one society is an evident and inviolable rule in another; what for some is freedom of conscience is for others simply confusion. Cultures are in fact quite diverse, and each general principle needs to be inculturated, if it is to be respected and applied.2 The 1985 Synod, which celebrated the twentieth anniversary of the conclusion of the Second Vatican Council, spoke of inculturation as “the intimate transformation of authentic cultural values through their integration in Christianity, and the taking root of Christianity in the various human cultures”.Inculturation does not weaken true values, but demonstrates their true strength and authenticity, since they adapt without changing; indeed they quietly and gradually transform the different cultures.4

We have seen, also by the richness of our diversity, that the same challenge is ever before us: that of proclaiming the Gospel to the men and women of today, and defending the family from all ideological and individualistic assaults.

And without ever falling into the danger of relativism or of demonizing others, we sought to embrace, fully and courageously, the goodness and mercy of God who transcends our every human reckoning and desires only that “all be saved” (cf. 1 Tm 2:4). In this way we wished to experience this Synod in the context of the Extraordinary Year of Mercy which the Church is called to celebrate.

Dear Brothers,

The Synod experience also made us better realize that the true defenders of doctrine are not those who uphold its letter, but its spirit; not ideas but people; not formulae but the gratuitousness of God’s love and forgiveness. This is in no way to detract from the importance of formulae, laws and divine commandments, but raather to exalt the greatness of the true God, who does not treat us according to our merits or even according to our works but solely according to the boundless generosity of his Mercy (cf. Rom 3:21-30; Ps 129; Lk 11:37-54). It does have to do with overcoming the recurring temptations of the elder brother (cf. Lk 15:25-32) and the jealous labourers (cf. Mt 20:1-16). Indeed, it means upholding all the more the laws and commandments which were made for man and not vice versa (cf. Mk 2:27).

In this sense, the necessary human repentance, works and efforts take on a deeper meaning, not as the price of that salvation freely won for us by Christ on the cross, but as a response to the One who loved us first and saved us at the cost of his innocent blood, while we were still sinners (cf. Rom 5:6).

The Church’s first duty is not to hand down condemnations or anathemas, but to proclaim God’s mercy, to call to conversion, and to lead all men and women to salvation in the Lord (cf. Jn 12:44-50).

Blessed Paul VI expressed this eloquently: “”We can imagine, then, that each of our sins, our attempts to turn our back on God, kindles in him a more intense flame of love, a desire to bring us back to himself and to his saving plan… God, in Christ, shows himself to be infinitely good… God is good. Not only in himself; God is – let us say it with tears – good for us. He loves us, he seeks us out, he thinks of us, he knows us, he touches our hearts us and he waits for us. He will be – so to say – delighted on the day when we return and say: ‘Lord, in your goodness, forgive me. Thus our repentance becomes God’s joy”.5

Saint John Paul II also stated that: “the Church lives an authentic life when she professes and proclaims mercy… and when she brings people close to the sources of the Saviour’s mercy, of which she is the trustee and dispenser”.6

Benedict XVI, too, said: “Mercy is indeed the central nucleus of the Gospel message; it is the very name of God… May all that the Church says and does manifest the mercy God feels for mankind. When the Church has to recall an unrecognized truth, or a betrayed good, she always does so impelled by merciful love, so that men may have life and have it abundantly (cf. Jn 10:10)”.7

In light of all this, and thanks to this time of grace which the Church has experienced in discussing the family, we feel mutually enriched. Many of us have felt the working of the Holy Spirit who is the real protagonist and guide of the Synod. For all of us, the word “family” has a new resonance, so much so that the word itself already evokes the richness of the family’s vocation and the significance of the labours of the Synod.8

In effect, for the Church to conclude the Synod means to return to our true “journeying together” in bringing to every part of the world, to every diocese, to every community and every situation, the light of the Gospel, the embrace of the Church and the support of God’s mercy!

Thank you!
1 Cf. Letter of His Holiness Pope Francis to the Grand Chancellor of the Pontifical Catholic University of Argentina on the Centenary of its Faculty of Theology, 3 March 2015.

2 Cf. Pontifical Biblical Commission, Fede e cultura alla luce della Bibbia. Atti della Sessione plenaria 1979 della Pontificia Commissione Biblica, LDC, Leumann, 1981; SECOND VATICAN ECUMENICAL COUNCIL, Gaudium et Spes, 44.

3 Final Relatio (7 December 1985), L’Osservatore Romano, 10 December 1985, 7.

4 “In virtue of her pastoral mission, the Church must remain ever attentive to historical changes and to the development of new ways of thinking. Not, of course, to submit to them, but rather to surmount obstacles standing in the way of accepting her counsels and directives” (Interview with Cardinal Georges Cottier, in La Civiltà Cattolica 3963-3964, 8 August 2015, p. 272).

5 Homily, 23 June 1968: Insegnamenti VI (1968), 1177-1178.

Dives in Misericordia, 13. He also said: “In the paschal mystery… God appears to us as he is: a tender-hearted Father, who does not give up in the face of his childrens’ ingratitude and is always ready to forgive (JOHN PAUL II, Regina Coeli, 23 April 1995: Insegnamenti XVIII, 1 [1995], 1035). So too he described resistance to mercy: “The present-day mentality, more perhaps than that of people in the past, seems opposed to a God of mercy, and in fact tends to exclude from life and to remove from the human heart the very idea of mercy. The word and the concept of ‘mercy’ seem to cause uneasiness…” (Dives in Misericordia [30 November 1980] 2).

Regina Coeli, 30 March 2008: Insegnamenti IV, 1 (2008), 489-490. Speaking of the power of mercy, he stated: “it is mercy that sets a limit to evil. In it is expressed God’s special nature – his holiness, the power of truth and of love” (Homily on Divine Mercy Sunday, 15 April 2007: Insegnamenti III, 1 [2007], 667).

8 An acrostic look at the word “family” [Italian: “famiglia”] can help us summarize the Church’s mission as the task of: Forming new generations to experience love seriously, not as an individualistic search for a pleasure then to be discarded, and to believe once again in true, fruitful and lasting love as the sole way of emerging from ourselves and being open to others, leaving loneliness behind, living according to God’s will, finding fulfilment, realizing that marriage is “an experience which reveals God’s love, defending the sacredness of life, every life, defending the unity and indissolubility of the conjugal bond as a sign of God’s grace and of the human person’s ability to love seriously” (Homily for the Opening Mass of the Synod, 4 October 2015: L’Osservatore Romano, 5-6 October 2015, p. 7) and, furthermore, enhancing marriage preparation as a means of providing a deeper understanding of the Christian meaning of the sacrament of Matrimony; Approaching others, since a Church closed in on herself is a dead Church, while a Church which does leave her own precincts behind in order to seek, embrace and lead others to Christ is a Church which betrays her very mission and calling; Manifesting and bringing God’s mercy to families in need; to the abandoned, to the neglected elderly, to children pained by the separation of their parents, to poor families struggling to survive, to sinners knocking on our doors and those who are far away, to the differently able, to all those hurting in soul and body, and to couples torn by grief, sickness, death or persecution; Illuminating consciences often assailed by harmful and subtle dynamics which even attempt to replace God the Creator, dynamics which must be unmasked and resisted in full respect for the dignity of each person; Gaining and humbly rebuilding trust in the Church, which has been gravely weakened as a result of the conduct and sins of her children – sadly, the counter-witness of scandals committed in the Church by some clerics have damaged her credibility and obscured the brightness of her saving message; Labouring intensely to sustain and encourage those many strong and faithful families which, in the midst of their daily struggles, continue to give a great witness of fidelity to the Church’s teachings and the Lord’s commandments; Inventing renewed programmes of pastoral care for the family based on the Gospel and respectful of cultural differences, pastoral care which is capable of communicating the Good News in an attractive and positive manner and helping banish from young hearts the fear of making definitive commitments, pastoral care which is particularly attentive to children, who are the real victims of broken families, pastoral care which is innovative and provides a suitable preparation for the sacrament of Matrimony, rather than so many programmes which seem more of a formality than training for a lifelong commitment; Aiming to love unconditionally all families, particularly those experiencing difficulties, since no family should feel alone or excluded from the Church’s loving embrace, and the real scandal is a fear of love and of showing that love concretely.

Nice speech! Pope Francis looked relaxed and pleased. Looks like he forgot that half cape "signifying papal magisterium." Not to mention the sash so many of nitwits in black and purple-pink wear all the time. Francis never bothered spending thousands of Euros having his sash embroidered with his coat of arms. Great day. Great speech. Great Pope.

Really great day because in that old Tridentine calendar today was the Feast of Saint Raphael the Archangel. He was an ancient Guardian Angel of Travelers because he helped Tobias and his puppy dog make that long trip, grab the family money, snag a hot wife without dying on the wedding night, and then make it home safe with fancy fish liver to cure Daddy's eyes wrecked when that bird shit fell into them.
So speaking of bird shit and brain shit, it will be a perfect day for RETROrate to pack up its Bitter Bag o' Onions and for Reverend Mother Cunniwicke and Fr Zildo and Crushed Boner Thrilling and TurdBlossom and all the rest of the angry Scribes and Pharisees and KKK (Krazy Katholic Konverts) to head on off to their new pad!
Where the anathemas and condemnations are going strong!
Meanwhile, let's close the day with a fitting Thank You, God! done up real cool in the traditional Gregorian chant from the monasteries!
But doing my bit for the those we all hope who might be leaving us, I think we should play the Te Deum done by The Ordinary Newton's kid brother, Make Believe Bishop Before and Now Monsignor Keith Newton's, kid brother Wayne!

Friday, October 23, 2015


I don't know about you, but to me down here in Gator Gulch, looks like the Apocalypse is coming true and the Church has reached the end of the line thanks to that miserable wretched Synod.

Check the Sedevacantists of RETROratePoor Bitter Bag o' Onions, whose daughter Benedicta (who the hell would name his daughter that?) thinks Daddy who doesn't think he should be married should be. Poor Bishop Cagey Uh-Know-Nuttin'!

Check Reverend Mother M. John Cunniwicke, Personal Spokesman for The Ordinary Newton, who hates Pope Francis, Archbishop Cupich, Cardinal Wuerl and everyone not as Null-and-Void as his make-believe "priesthood" was and his current Fly-Me-Around-the-World life still is.

Throw in Bishop Morbidly Obese's Father Zildosinmydorf and Bishop Anathema Sheitfürbrainz consecrated by a deceased Polish Layman! A whole Litany of Lamentable Losers!


Or maybe not. Coffee break time at the Synod. Say isn't that Pope Francis laughing it up with Cardinal Arf-Arf-Arf of NYC who signed that stupid letter of Cardinal Georgie Porgie Pell-Mell?

Great homily today too:

“Times are changing and we Christians must change continuously. We must change whilst remaining fixed to our faith in Jesus Christ, fixed to the truth of the Gospel but we must adapt our attitude continuously according to the signs of the times. We are free. We are free thanks to the gift of freedom given to us by Jesus Christ. But our job is to look at what is happening within us, discern our feelings, our thoughts and what is happening around us and discern the signs of the times – through silence, reflection and prayer.” 

Uses the Lectionary and Mass that replaced the solemnly abrogated by an Ecumenical Council one Extraordinary Form.

Guess where Pope Francis is helping all the arrogant, nasty mean-spirited phony bastards Krazy Katholic Konverts to head for next?
Bon voyage! I say. Especially after they dumped this week's shit all over the Church. Nice summary by one of the people Reverend Mother Cunniwicke attacked so badly he was forced to take the posting down. But I've kept it up, so everyone can see what a mean prick he really is!

The Pope takes a hit for synodality

It is now clear that the work of the Synod won’t be finished by Saturday evening 

Robert Mickens
October 23, 2015
Vatican City

There should no longer be any doubts – Pope Francis has enemies.

Fierce ones.

And they will stop at nothing to block his attempts to reform the Church.

Their latest effort – spreading a fabrication under the guise of a news leak that he has a tumor on the brain – was meant to sew doubts about his mental faculties and judgment.

It was an insidious attempt to throw into question the wisdom of every decision he has taken in his 31 months as Bishop of Rome.

And the timing was not accidental.

This vile rumor was strategically launched to ruin the pope’s painstaking efforts over the past two-and-a-half-years to change the ethos and mentality of a Catholic Church still overly obsessed with defending “small-minded rules” rather than one eager to generously apply the medicine of mercy and forgiveness.

But Pope Francis’ enemies are not so much upset about his desire to find a way to allow people in “irregular marital situations” (such as the divorced and civilly remarried) to receive holy communion, as much as his goal to change the governing structure and mentality of the Church.

In short, the 78-year-old pope has begun to turn the top-down, clericalist model of Church completely on its head.

The words he used last Saturday were an “inverted pyramid” where the top (bishops) is located below the base (the people).

This has unsettled his enemies, already threatened by his vision of “a synodal Church” in which “priests and laity are called to cooperate with the bishop”; where the hierarchy (clergy), through “listening and sharing”, must “keep connected to the ‘base’ and start from people and their daily problems”.

Go read the whole thing. What bastards the Pope-haters are! May they all go back to where they came from. Or on to Econe!

Seems nice out. I can't find Hurricane Patricia on the map, so I guess I'll go pick some polk salad down by the side of the monastery where the Gators Got Her Granny one day. Chomp! Chomp! I'll add that song to the bottom for you Gregorian Chant experts who never heard it.

But after that coffee break and homily, I'll go with this first.

Buon Giorno e Buon Pranzo!

Gosh, I really do look just like Mama Cass, except I tie my hair in back, just like Abba Anaphora of Mount Athos told me to way back when I was just a baby Rasophore.

Once I believed that when love came to me

It would come with rockets, bells and baby
But with me and you, it just started quietly and grew

And believe it or not
there's something good 'bout whatever we got
And it's getting better

Growing stronger, warm and wilder
Getting better everyday, better everyday
I don't feel all turned on and starry eyed

I just feel a sweet contentment deep inside
Holding you at night just seems kind of natural and right

And it's not hard to see
That it isn't half of what it's going to turn out to be
'Cause it's getting better

Growing stronger, warm and wilder
Getting better everyday, better everyday
And I don't mind waitin', I don't mind waitin'

'Cause no matter how long it takes
The two of us know
That it's getting better
Growing stronger, warm and wilder
Getting better everyday, better everyday.

But it's Polk Salad time soon. Chomp Chomp. "A mean, vicious woman". I think he's talking about Rev Mum Cunniwicke. I hope the gators get that granny.  Soon.

Some of you all never been down South too much...
I' gonna tell you a little story, so you'll understand where I'm talking about
Down there we have a plant that grows out in the woods and the fields,
and it looks something like a turnip green.
Everybody calls it Polk salad. Now that's Polk salad.
Used to know a girl that lived down there and
she'd go out in the evenings to pick a mess of it...
Carry it home and cook it for supper, 'cause that's about all they had to eat,
But they did all right.

Down in Louisiana
Where the alligators grow so mean
Lived a girl that I swear to the world
Made the alligators look tame

Polk salad Annie
'Gators got your granny
Everybody said it was a shame
For the mama was working on the chain-gang
What a mean, vicious woman

Everyday before suppertime
She'd go down by the truck patch
And pick her a mess of Polk salad
And carry it home in a tote sack

Polk salad Annie
'Gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause the mama was working on the chain-gang
Whoo, how wretched, dispiteful, straight-razor totin' woman,
Lord have mercy.

Sock a little Polk salad to him
Yeah, you know what, yeah, yeah

But daddy was a lazy and a no-count
Claimed he had a bad back
All her brothers were fit for
Was stealing watermelons out of my truck

For once Polk salad Annie
'Gators got your granny
Everybody said it was a shame
For the mama was working on the chain-gang

Sock a little Polk salad to him
You know what meets a meal mention
You sock a little
Hey, hey, hey, yeah, yeah
Chic a bon, chic a bon, chic a bon bon bon bon
Chic a bon, chic a bon, chic a bon bon bon bon
Sock a little Polk salad to him
You know what meets a meal mention
Sock a little Polk salad to him
You know what meets a meal mention

Chinc, chinc, chinc, chin, ling, ling ling