Monday, August 31, 2015

V. O Lord, open my app. R. While my assistant fetches my panini.

Second from the left, though I think he'd rather be identified as "third from the Far Right," Monsignor Guido Marini, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI's former and Papa Francesco's current MC, was just sighted in New York City's Penn Station.

Check out the Obama-Administration-provided gang of super cassock-wearing Secret Service ops . . . . scary-looking dudes!

It looks like they're all reciting the Divine Office from their iBreviary app . . . . . I'm sure they all rose simultaneously and did the profound bow expected at the Gloria Patri . . . 

All this brought back memories of Monsignor Guido's truly thunderous "Extra Omnes" at the opening of the Conclave that terminated Gutsy Guido's favorite velvet mozzetta, since, "The Carnival is over . . . "

I wonder if "Macho Man Marini" and the "Soutane Swingers" made it to the Village during their visit . . . 

Friday, August 28, 2015

RIP Mister Wesolowski

Disgraced, deposed former nuncio dies while awaiting trial on molestation and child pornography charges.  NCR article here.

Yes. Old news. I know.

One question though...
Will Bishop Anathema Scheitfurbrainz preside at his friends funeral?

Or will his summer long procession around the globe undermining Vatican II keep him too busy?

Please remember the victims of Mr. Wesolowski in your prayers. 
Also, in your charity, pray for the soul of the deceased.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Sometimes Karma Is A Bitch

Sometimes she really is a bitch...

Aloha from Hawaii from H.E. Cardinal Levada

Father D dedicates this one to the sisters of the LCWR.
Not that I always agree with them, but because they (well their working members have) have been in the trenches and been under appreciated for too long.

In case you have not yet read about, here you go. 

Perhaps Otis Cardinal Levada and San Fran Sal can can hit the same DUI class together.

At least he didn't hit another car and drive away on his way to his family home.


Saturday, August 22, 2015


Even living here in my humble Hermitage-by-the-Sea 24/7, 365 (or 366) days a year, I can tell when summer is coming to an end, just by looking at the folks getting in their last Rays and Waves! Monastic hospitality keeps the house humming, even though Reynaldo no longer serves as Guestmaster. We have our regular guests.
But some of their younger Sisters visit us too! The nuns are on the left . . . 
Some "outside the Order" also drop by!
That's Sister The Donald, visiting us from her ministry with immigrants to Key West. She always has awesome beach gear! Can you guess who her name-patron is?

Anyhow, one of the wonderful things about having this humble blog is that friends send me all kinds of pictures and news and funny stories . . . check the comment box for stories from YOUR HOME DIOCESE!

Most times there's no name, but enough info to help you nail the place down pretty accurately. Although the screw-ups are so widespread, any place referred to could be your place!

I mean, it amazes me - so outside the Circle of Light as I am - that almost all of you are "blessed" to have both a BISHOP from the Pontifical North American Dance Academy and a BISHOP'S SECRETARY / MC / DRIVER / FLUNKY / PUPPY-DOG / EYE-CANDY / SPY / INTERCOM-LISTENING SNOOP / NASTY OFFICIOUS MESSAGE-LEAVER (calling his classmate: "Hello, Bill? This is Monsignor/Father Cerebro DeMerda. The Bishop asked me to call and tell/remind/order/ you..") Well, you get the idea. The job description goes on and on and on. And the obnoxious personalities abound. 

Here's two pictures sent to me by two completely different people in completely different life circumstances . . . but the pictures strike me as so similar you could give them the same title: TWIN LOSERS!
Could you imagine hiring either of either two people? All four spend their lives living off the kindness of the rest of us. Big difference? The two in the bottom picture are authentic and even seem a little likable! I'm thinking, if Jesus came walking along the road, you can tell right away which two He'd want to hang out with . . .

But I digress . . . back to my title, Big Days in Rome.

So yesterday was Someone Special's Feast Day! (At least in the Novus Ordo. If you're in the Abrogatus Ordo, we're talking September 3rd).

But in "Conciliar" Rome, as those fun-loving people-charmers of The Bishop Fellay Show call it, it was THE Feast Day of:
Saint Pius X
(gloriously reigned and notoriously excommunicated people left and right from 1903-1914
Was as nice to kids though as he was rough on theologians! That's why we all got to make so much money our First Holy Communions at age 7! And imagine having a hatchet-man named "Merry" del Val?! Oy!)

Guess who decided to really celebrate the feast in Rome? Saint Pius X's Current Successor!
The feast of Saint Pius X was celebrated in a special way this morning in Vatican. During the 7 o’clock Mass, Monsignor Lucio Bonora, from Treviso, who works in the Secretariat of State, presided at the eucharistic celebration at the altar of Saint Pius X in Saint Peter's Basilica - with a special believer sitting in one of the benches: Pope Francis! The Holy Father had been praying by the altar of Saint Pius X since early in the morning, and when the Mass started he stopped in order to participate, receveing the Embrace of Peace and Holy Communion from Don Lucio, after having stood in line with the believers who were approaching the Eucharist! At the end, the Celebrant invited the large number of people who had come in the meantime to entrust to Saint Pius X all the needs of their families and the Church, and particularly his successor, Pope Francis. A nice surprise, and a special gift for the Celebrant and the participating believers. The Pope himself, at the end of the celebration confided to Monsignor Bonora that he had prayed particularly for the catechists. In Argentina, Saint Pius X, the “Pope of the Catechism,” is the Patron of Catechists, and when the Pope was Archbishop of Buenos Aires, right on Saint Pius’ feast he always met with the catechists of his diocese. At the end of the celebration, Monsignor Bonora thanked the Pope, who said to him: “I came for a personal prayer, because I have already celebrated Mass, but then I saw you approaching the altar to celebrate and so I stopped . . .  I told you that I am devoted to Saint Pius X!” (Alessandra Cecchin in "Lavita del Popolo")

Hmm, not to celebrate Mass! Just to attend Mass. During which he exchanged the "Embrace" of Peace with the celebrant and the people around him? Has your priest wiped out the Sign of Peace yet by charging into the Lamb of God Agnus Dei? Hey, that's only right! How can you recognize Jesus' Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Blessed Sacrament if you get distracted trying to recognize Him in the common ordinary people around you? And, according to the Italian article, Pope Francis "lined up" to receive Holy Communion!?! What YOUR Chancery Office's Pontifical North American Dance Academy grad - with or without his zucchetto and ring and pectoral cross already! - wants to know is: "on the tongue or in the hand?" "standing up or kneeling down?"

There'd be none of that at RETRO-rate's final destination: SSPX and Econe!
How would you like to be on the receiving end of The Bishop Fellay Show's Fickle Finger of Fate? With that red sand-paper glove. OUCH!

Speaking of the Pontifical North American Dance Academy and Econe, it was a big day at both places! And we've got the pictures to help you enjoy it as much as the actual participants did!

America's Best and Brightest Arrive!
Clap IN! Clap OUT!
(Clap During? Visit the Infirmary magna cum celeritate!)
Ecce quam bonum! Laetatus sum! Ad Deum qui laetificat iuventutem meam. Dies irae dies illa. Lacrimosa dies illa.

Serious looking eh?

Well, no worries! Because THAT is what RECREATION is for - in every Seminary!

My Spiritual Director used to tell me that as annoying as being at recreation was, it was just as important as being at Mass for building up my personal spirituality and the whole community's witness to Jesus and the togetherness that was experienced in the Holy Family's home at Nazareth, before it flew to Loreto.

Yeah. Right . . . it was a colossal pain in my then as-yet-not-so-colossal ass.

And things are JUST THE SAME at Econe:
Messy and sweaty in those Econe-Soutones! He! He! He!

Not so in Rome! Things are now way more sophisticated at the Pontifical North American Dance Academy!
Don't you hope YOUR Diocese is lucky enough to score acquire one of those two "Best and Brightest" as a genuine Holy-Spirit-chosen Successor of the Apostles?! Oh yeah, baby! Trippin' the light fantastic! Gonna pack those churches of the future to the rafters!

Imagine what Francis is saying in that picture? Any questions why he didn't even bother hanging around there for lunch the one day they talked him into visiting a place he'd never have sent his seminarians to while he was an Archbishop?

Well, I decided to go dig out a picture of MY old seminary faculty just to close this off . . . time to get the boat ready for more stipend scooping mission station visiting!

Ah those were the days! For them!
The one on the right received the Stigmata just before he died. Or one of the kitchen nuns went after him with a meat cleaver. We never found out for sure.
And for us!
So then this Hooker comes up to the Nun and says, "Hey, Sister, got a light? And the nun says . . . "
No tap dancing on our ranch, let me tell you! And there's a song my kids nephews and nieces were listening to the other day that would have been perfect as our own community song! In fact, it really might fit in with how you'd like to be remembered next time you visit YOUR local Chancery Office! Picture the Pontifical North American Dance Academy Bishop's Pontifical North American Dance Academy Flunkie outrunning your . . . holy water sprinkler! He! He! He!

Thursday, August 20, 2015


Saint Bernard of Clairvaux
1090 - August 20, 1153

O God,
you so inflamed the abbot Bernard
with zeal for your house
that he filled the Church with light and warmth;
grant through his intercession
that we may burn with the same spirit
and walk always as children of the light.
We ask this
through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God for ever an ever.
Sacramentary 1998

Well, Saint Bernard thought that the thought of Jesus was sweeter than honey on the tongue.

Clearly, he was into The Land Flowing With Milk and Honey

Which sure beats the hell out of what my diocese (and probably yours) is like, The Land Flowing With Scotch and Money.

Naturally, our dear friend, Father Gerard Manley Hopkins, S.J., "the Manly", took a shot at translating the hymn wisely attributed to Saint Bernard, Jesu Dulcis Memoria (even though one line of one verse got lost in his notes somewhere). Gerard knew how to push his superiors' buttons, and with his gifts for Latin and English, he sure as hell would never have made it onto the Vatican's Vox Obscura commission that produced the Missale Moronicum of 2011.

Enjoy! (Fits that Gregorian melody Sister M. Dolorosa taught us in 3rd grade!)

1. Jesus to cast one thought upon
Makes gladness after He is gone,
But more than honey and honeycomb
Is to come near and take Him home.

2. No music so can touch the ear,
No news is heard of such sweet cheer,
Thought half so dear there is not one
As Jesus God the Father's Son.

3. Jesu, their hope who go astray,
So kind to those who ask the way,
So good to those who look for Thee,
To those who find what must Thou be?

4. To speak of that no tongue will do
Nor letters suit to spell it true:
But they can guess who have tasted of
What Jesus is and what is love.

5. Jesu, a springing well Thou art,
Daylight to head and treat to heart,
And matched with Thee there' nothing glad
That men have wished for or have had.

6. Wish us Good Morning when we wake
And light us, Lord, with Thy day-break.
Beat from our brains the thicky night
And fill the world up with delight.

7. Who taste of Thee will hunger more,
Who drink be thirsty as before:
What else to ask they never know
But Jesus' self they love Him so.

8. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
And a sweet singing in the ear
And in the mouth a honey zest
And drinks of heaven in the breast.

9. Thou art the hope, Jesu, my sweet,
The soul has in its sighing-fit;
The loving tears on Thee are spent,
The inner cry for Thee is meant.

10. Be our delight, O Jesu, now
As by and by our prize art Thou,
And grant our glorying may be
World without end alone in Thee.

Traditional Latin Mass Version

Novus Ordo Version

Monday, August 17, 2015


OK, so I'm sorry I posted that video of the Giant Puppets at that Mass for the Elderly dancing to "Sing an Old Church Off Into Heaven."

While I was out collecting stipends offering Masses for my scattered sheep, I was deluged with funny, nasty, in-between emails about LITURGICAL DANCE.

So I thought I would reprint one of the latest decisions from Rome on the topic and post a video showing what they have in mind.

Prot. n. 666/14/L
Rome, 25 December 2014

Dear Mr. Xxxxx,

This Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments writes in response to your letter of 25 December 2008 (hey, I'm all alone at this damn old broken Olivetti, OK?) regarding the performances of a “liturgical dance and drama ministry” in your parish during which giant scary puppets literally scared the shit out of some of the children. Fortunately, as you noted, the senior citizens, retired priests, and elderly nuns were wearing DEPENDS.

The liturgical law of the Roman Rite does not foresee the use of dance or drama within the Sacred Liturgy, unless particular legislation has been enacted by the Bishops’ Conference and confirmed by the Holy See, both of which groups are too busy managing international collections to worry about such irrelevant nonsense.

Any other practice is to be considered just plain nuts.

These activities could, however, be useful outside the Sacred Liturgy in the work of catechesis and evangelization, if appropriately directed by the Bishop and his clergy. It was always fun watching Cardinal Arinze do the Electric Slide at wedding receptions and solemn professions for LCWR congregations. Cardinal Rebecca Sarah, not so much.

You would be encouraged to bring this to the attention of those responsible in your parish. After the giant puppet fiasco, it will be a great way to piss them off!

Should any unlawful practices persist, the matter should be brought to the Bishop of the Diocese if you can get through the Chancery Guards both clerical and para-military.

With gratitude for your concern for the Sacred Liturgy, without which I'd have to be trying endlessly to get my Order to take me back, and with kind regards, I am,

Sincerely yours in Christ,
Fr. Anthony "Psycho" Ward, S & M

I don't know about you, but I think this is what "Psycho" Ward was worried about:

Saturday, August 15, 2015


Gracious God,
you chose the Virgin Mary
to bear your incarnate Word,
and at her life’s end you brought her
in body and spirit to heavenly glory.
Grant that like Mary
we may hear your word and keep it
and one day share with her
the risen life of Christ your Son,
who lives and reigns with you
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God for ever and ever.
Alternative Opening Prayer
Vigil Mass of the Assumption
Sacramentary 1998

Golden as some bauble ancient
Kings once
Threw to favorites, Autumn
Clung the bough
And all at once the barren
Fig tree bloomed.
Leaves rustled to a holy
Discontent; in
Distant memory all the trees
Clapped hands
For music. She came so softly

On our winter air - silver gilt
Appearing on
The purple grape - we failed
At first to note
Her casual perfection. It is
A natural failing;
All things beautiful will
Ever be alone.
She was no goddess, though -
Omitting some
Of David's royal follies - her

House had always been the best.
She was a
Peasant, hands calloused
From the water
Bucket, mind uncluttered by
Complexities of
Truth. She never questioned,
Never doubted;
A carpenter's wife taking
In Egypt
Refuge with a lesser queen,

Breaking bread and cheese with
Whispering in her hear what
Secret wonders.
Compliance only. Do whatever
He tells you.
All ways and with happiness.
No stars stopped
In the heavens when she left,
Only the wind
Hallowing in the ivory tower

Breathed a solemn
Sigh for
Bride and child and mother.
Shall proclaim her blessed,
Echoing the wind.

John L'Heureux
Ancient Music

Faithful to your promise, O God
you have lifted up the lowly,
clothing with heavenly splendour
the woman who bore Christ,
our life and resurrection.
Grant that the Church, prefigured in Mary,
may bear Christ to the world
and come to share his triumph.
We ask this
through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you
in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God for ever and ever. 
Alternative Opening Prayer
Day Mass of the Assumption
Sacramentary 1998

Kondakion, Tone II
In prayer, watchful and constant is she at all times,
and all who seek her help are soon consoled
by her unfailing aid.
Neither death nor tomb held any power over her,
for, as the mother of Christ, the life,
she was taken into life by that very one
who deigned to dwell in her ever-virgin womb.

Exapostilarion, Tone III
O faithful friends
gathered here from the ends of the earth,
I implore you this day:
In this garden set me to rest.
And you, my Son and my God,
receive my soul into your eternal realms.

Friday, August 14, 2015


You know, in the summer time, by the seashore, I just love the image of the Holy Church of God as a boat. Look at that icon! Isn't that a beautiful image of the Church? Jesus! Mary! The apostles! That's me in the back in my monastic habit having a premature e-halo-ation. Ha ha ha! Get it? I'd love to be in that boat!

Instead I'm in this one! "What the hell are you doing in that, Father D?!" I can hear you say.
Well, it's "Dormition (Assumption) Weekend" and that means I'm off to collect multiple Mass stipends to minister to God's scattered sheep hither and yon. Of course in most Rites it's not a holy day because it falls on the day before Sunday! And we wouldn't want the Fathers to exhaust themselves by having to get through TWO 45-minute Eucharistic Prayer II performances rather than just one, now would we? . . . but I digress . . . 

Besides, where I come from, we don't eliminate collections liturgies unless we have to.

Of course, I don't like to give away exactly where I am - Catholic terrorists on the right and left are scary, let me tell you - but my mission involves multiple trips over the waves.
It's a bitch in the winter time, kids. So it's always safety first! Especially for my Bishop, who's smart enough to be ready for either the waves knocking him off the boat, or one of his clergy just pushing him over the side.
But the people are always happy to see me, and I usually bring my own lunch!
Sadly this summer we've had a little dustup on one of the "kinky" islands where the "aging hippies" who plan the liturgy tend to be a little too "with it"! Even though for years most of them have had to go "without it"! (Get it? They don't! They really don't get it! In fact, most of them don't even remember when they used to!)

They wanted to do something to "involve the grandkids" so they decided to make "liturgical puppets." 

Assumption-Dormition is all about Mary (for you heretics who may be reading this), so they tried to make a "Big Mary" puppet. With "Joseph, her most gross chaste Spouse" at her side.
Scared the shit out of the kids (literally, out of one of them . . . ewwww). And scared me shitless too.

So then they tried to go over my head by making a special puppet to welcome our beloved Bishop, Vladyka Eureka of Topeka and Abbot of Mayberry, R.F.D.
He looked more like something that should be riding on a Pride Weekend Float, if you know what I mean (and sometimes I'm pretty sure he does . . . but I digress).

Plus the hymn they wanted was "Sing a New Church Into Being". Do any of the people in THIS movie look like a "NEW" Church?
So Happy Holy Day, everyone! Even you lazy bastards who aren't bothering to collect any money to celebrate any special liturgies!

Oh by the way, on an ecumenical note, a few years ago, when Reynaldo was still around, our local Evangelical Pastor, Reverend Bobby Lee Bobb, decided to set up similar "stipend stations" "mission stations" and go cash in minister to his people - and try to steal some of mine.
So I had Reynaldo volunteer to "work on his boat" to get him ready for the trip. When his wife and seven kids would be away, Reverend Bobby Lee would always invite Reynaldo to go out fishing with him.
For some reason I was never invited.

So Reynaldo took REALLY GOOD care of that Evangelical Pastor's Boat!
Bon Voyage, Reverend! "In the holy Gospels, the boat is an image of the Church." That's an image of Reverend's church.

He he he he he!

If only Cunniwicke and Bitter Onions were down in the galley getting the tea and scones ready! Zuhlsdorf fluffing up the seminarians' pom-poms on the front deck. And a few other folks I can think of!

OK, let's get back to the sacred liturgy. Here's the Troparion for Dormition sung in the Fifth Tone by that "mixed" monastery, The Concrete Skete of Saint Dragomira, Warrior Nun of Upper Bosnia!

Thursday, August 13, 2015


Professor Krapnewski, author of "Mutually Enriching Opposing Forms"
published by Obnoxious Press, San Francisco,

under the direction of Father Stressio, S.J.

Wow! What a Successful Surging Seminarian Summer it's been in Madison! All those manly men, forging ahead with forsaking marriage, breaking the hearts of all the Madison women, who are instinctively drawn toward men who wear square silk hats with pom-poms on the top, are experiencing the deep inner spiritual reality of a call to the priesthood based on Jesus' personal invitation to each one of them to show their love for Him and their willingness to serve God's people - by putting a pom-pom on their heads!

Say good-bye, ladies, to these Spoken-for Studs!
Imagine how long it took these dudes to decide that Jesus was calling them to forget about sexual intimacy with women, giving life and watching their wives give birth and seeing their beautiful children? And just imagine women watching all those potentially perfect husbands donning the blue biretta pom-pom and forsaking the husbandhood and fatherhood they must have dreamt of since their Little League baseball and High School football days. Look at these guys! Celibacy is SUCH a challenging vocation!
Yup, the Morlino's Manly Chub-Master himself, Father Z, is passing out birettas and zapping up the chubbies on Madison's Manly Platoon!

Meanwhile, back here in my humble hermitage, it's so hot I'm not even wearing pants, let alone a biretta . . . You know I kind of like all the popes we've ever had. I put their pictures up here sometimes. Of course, I've never met any of them in person because ... well, my Church life has been all over the place. I love Vladyka Eureka of Topeka and Abbot of Mayberry, R.F.D. (Don't worry about that doe. He doesn't eat meat. You might want to worry about your dough! Hahaha!)
Bet he looks nicer than the turkey YOU have to work under! But I did my first theology studies at Savonarola Seminary, right next door to the Dunder Mifflin Paper Co. in Scranton, where I got a cool part-time job with an awesome group of people.
Phyllis was awesome. And Meredith always bought me a drink on Thursday night "to get the weekend going, baby!"

Our faculty at Savonarola was into married Polish bishops
but not infallible Polish Popes, obviously, so I never got to meet him.

Then I switched over to the American Greek Catholic Eastern Orthodox American Carpatho-Russian Eastern Non-Ruthenian And Certainly Not Ukrainian Orthodox Church and was assigned to their Seminary Incense Baking and Chopping Apostolate.
The Father Founder started off looking really Roman but ended up looking really Eastern:
So did I, but that's another story. I got mad allergic to the incense, which smelled just like the Scranton Rusty Car Grave Yard
and was a bitch to make. Here's a picture of me in the Seminary Incense Factory
So I moved on. Actually, I ran for my life. Scranton is one of those cities that has about 93 steeples and onion domes. Almost every jurisdiction, East, West, Catholic, Orthodox, National Catholic, non-Catholic, Eastern Catholic, Western Orthodox is there . . . with clergy like you've never seen. Some are scary.

Back to Popes. I would have loved to have had a beer with Benny. Look at him rockin' out at 88!

So I'm really surprised when SUPER TRADITIONAL REALLY ROMAN Catholics hate ALL the popes so much, except for Benny! Though they're really pissed at him for resigning, just after they'd spent so much money on lace and sofa upholstery vestments . . . 

Today, one of the SUPER TRADITIONAL REALLY ROMAN Catholic websites, RETROrate, published a very weird article:

It's by Professor Krapnewski, that Bow-tied Beard who writes stuff even longer and weirder than Mark Thomas at The New Liturgical Bowel Movement.

Actually, Krappy didn't write it, it's even older than he is, because it's about hating Blessed Pope Paul VI.

I know, I know . . . when it comes to hating Pope Francis, it's Reverend Mother M. John Cunniwicke who leads the Herd of Haters. But he hated Blessed Pope Paul VI - a lot! - also, even though back then, Cunniwicke was being paid money and lining up a cool pension for saying fake Masses because he was an "UTTERLY NULL AND ABSOLUTELY VOID" (not-Blessed but really cool Pope Leo XIII) priest back then.

I was just a little kid at the time, but I remember seeing Pope Paul VI on TV visiting New York City!
That's from the awesome movie, Heaven Help Us! about Catholic High School back in the 1960s. The kids got the day off to watch Pope Paul VI go by in his limo - and there he is!

The kids seemed excited. Those Saint Joseph Nuns look tough! Our 8th grade teacher who was also the convent cook, Sister Salmonella, took no baloney from us (although I heard she fed it to the nuns, who did NOT like it except with Miracle Whip, which reminded them of Jesus I guess).

The Brothers WERE tough. Like the ones we had at Cardinal Cody High School . . . Like the teachers Janet Darcy had in her high school! (Hey Janet, how's that King Size California Bed doing? And your boyfriend too! Hahahaha!)
But I digress . . . 

So the article Professor Krappy Bearded Bow Tie wants us to read, written back in the days of Hating Pope Paul VI, says:

What the cheerleaders are really telling us is that this Pope (any Pope?) is too vain, too irascible to accept even constructive criticism; that he is incapable of growth; that he is a crippled human being; and that he must be treated not like a father but like an Oriental despot.


In other words, HATE POPE FRANCIS just like our heroes who rejected Vatican II HATED POPE PAUL VI!

So Professor Krapnewski,
who teaches at Wyoming Catholic College, which is in the Diocese of Bishop Paul EtTuBrutienne (who just made his First Communion - and imagine the disappointed chicks when this stud donned his first biretta?!)
is right up there with Mother Cunniwicke, who also hates Pope Francis and Pope Paul VI:
whose Bishop is a make-believe Bishop the real UK Bishops call THE ORDINARY NEWTON of The Ladies of Walsingham's Fraudianriate (check out the costume!):
and also with with thy Bitter Bag O' (Sometimes) Bearded Onions from the Saint Hugely Looney Society
whose own Bishop knows how to do the Battle of the Beards, Bishop Cagey Uh-Know-Nuttin' (whose 'stache melted SO MANY young Italian chicks' hearts back in Brooklyn!)
What fun These Mitred Men of God will be having next time they visit Casa Santa Marta and explain to the Pope their loyal sons in Christ HATE and teach others HOW TO HATE why they really love him oh-so-much.

Good thing some of them learned how to tap dance in Rome!

I think this whole gang of Bishops and Make-Believe Bishops is just Bat Shit Crazy.

Don't you?

Like their buddies who Rant and Rave on RetroRate and in Mother Cunniwicke's closet.

“Submarine Seminarians” are not a rarity these days but they bode ill for the Church.  They go through the system saying everything they are supposed to say, concealing their true thoughts and beliefs, impervious to the sound theology being given them in their classes.  They are able to parrot back what their professors say but they have developed their own particular Catholicism, unique to them and their clique, and keep it under wraps until they are ordained.  All one has to do is look at the Diocese of Madison or the Diocese of Lincoln or the Diocese of Arlington and see the damage to the faith of the People of God these crypto-schismatics can wreak.


Not to mention what Reynaldo called to tell me last night is shaping up for the next (unexpected and really pretty soon) batch of Cardinals! 

But that's for another post . . . maybe. He told me not to say anything. So forget I said that.

All this Church-Crap makes me think about that last summer before I went to Savonarola and the job at Dunder Mifflin. When the priest at our parish used to assign me a Rosary for my penance, he'd say . . . "Do you know the mysteries, son?" I'd go, "Uh . . . no, Father." "Hmm," he'd say, then sigh, "OK, well, then just three Hail Marys I guess." Nice! Easy-Peasy! Of course, sometimes I'd just "fall" again. But I digress . . .