Tuesday, October 6, 2015


I'd like to thank all of you who have my private email and got me a message to ask how we're doing here at the hermitage after the recent Hurricane Joaquin and Anna blew through. Let's put it this way, the way my Novice Master used to post notices when the Sunday night football games made Compline a pain in the ass: "Divine Office private until further notice."

My not-so-divine-office was pretty well water-logged.
But fortunately the Novices over at the local Asian monastery of Our Lady of the Bright Jasmine Flowers (do you know what that means? don't look it up before dinner, dear!) were still obediently using theirs, so I was able to read your lovely emails.
And catch up on Reverend Mother M. John Cunniwicke's coverage of the Synod he and all the other Krazy Katholic Konverts hate to death (we should be so lucky!) so much.

The poor thing! Starts off by saying "Been there, done that . . . boring." And says, "My recollection is that when I was  ordained to the Sacred Priesthood in the 1960s . . . " Doesn't poor Reverend Mum believe that Pope Leo XIII infallibly (as Cardinal Ratzinger insisted not long before being elected the Pope that let these Krazy Konverts in) declared "the Sacred Priesthood" Cunniwicke thinks he was ordained to was just "absolutely null and utterly void"? Apostolicae Curae is such light and lovely reading! I wonder if Cunniwicke had to give back all the stipends when he finally got really ordained by the Roman Catholic Church?

But it was an earlier piece that was really interesting. I'll have to ask Reynaldo what the guys at the Pontifical North American Dance Academy are thinking about all this. Unless it's Boogaloo Week again like last year this time.

So here's Rev. Mum's latest. And lamest?

Dodgy and Iffy

"The Synod Fathers also cosidered (sic) the possibility of allowing gay boyfriends who have been Anglican make-believe priests together to be ordained to the Roman Catholic priesthood in the Fraudinariate, some kneeling side-by-side, with the knowledge of The Ordinary Newton (as the UK RC Bishops who hate him call him privately) ... Various synod fathers insisted on maintaining the the present discipline, because of ... Others proposed a more individualised approach, permitting gay Anglican make-believe priest boyfriends to be ordained for the Fraudinariate in certain situations and with certain well-defined conditions ... The subject needs to be thoroughly examined, bearing in mind the distinction between ... " etc. etc..

Thus Paragraph 122 of the Base Document of the Synod, reproducing Paragraph 52 of the document produced at last year's synod. Except, of course, that for gay Anglican make-believe priest boyfriends read  admission of remarried divorcees to the Sacraments.

I made the change, not because I regard gay Anglican make-believe priest boyfriends as being on an ethical level with admitting adulterers to Holy Communion, but to illustrate the rhetorical tricks being employed. We are all interested in rhetoric, aren't we? So here we go.

(1) The order of subjects. Maintaining the present discipline comes first, and is followed by Changing it. This is the trick of the Implied BUT.  First of all, you get out of the way the option which you wish to play down; then you follow it with your own preferred option. "Some board members think that you have worked here for fifty years and deserve to be retained in employment; others suggest a more nuanced approach to the moral obligations the firm has towards you ...". There's no doubt which side the speaker is on. You only have to reverse the order in which the alternatives are spelt out to see my point. Do what The Ordinary Newton did. Just lie. And then he told the boyfriends to get themselves into the Roman thing real fast before anyone said anything at all.

(2) Option 1 is laid out in 35 words; Option 2 in 101 words. Surprise!!! Option 2 is deployed with a (dubiously relevant) quotation from the Catechism; one wonders why no mention was made of the vast Magisterial back-up to Option 1. We just diverted attention by getting the nuts at the UK Catholic Missal printer to print up our fancy liturgies because we hate the Novus Ordo Shit and The Bishop Fellay Show is much smarter than the Romans and knows better than to take us on our own terms like Papa Ratzi did, the UK RC bishops and the C of E gang be damned.

(3) "The subject needs to be thoroughly examined ...". This is the trick of suppressing actual mention of who it is that has some view. It is often done by the use of passive or impersonal ("It is felt that ...") constructions. Just ask yourself: Is this sentence the view of the Committee which drafted the text? Or of the 2014 Synod as a whole? Is it what all the 2014 fathers unanimously agreed? Pull the other one! In fact, it is clearly part of the views of those advocating change. But it is given a lofty dignity by the grammatical structure. Not "We think it needs to be examined"; not "Kasper and his chums think it needs to be examined"; not even "Most fathers think it needs to be examined". Just "It needsto be examined"!

It is surprising what you can get away with if you avoid allowing your grammar to give away who is actually advocating what. Make it sound as if what you're saying is so obvious as to be above contradiction. That's how We managed to get the nuts in Rome to give us the Fraudinariate that no right minded UK RC bishop would ever have wanted. How do you think I managed to survive the year they kept me on hold because at least some of the UK RC bishops knew how pissed off I was that all those make believe Masses I had made a fortune on were considered by them as "absolutely null and utterly void" as my make believe "priesthood" was.

 It is has become clear to me, from reading this document and analysing its sleights of hand, that, embedded at the heart of the synodical process, are profoundly corrupt operators who are prepared to use any dodge they can lay their hands on, to pervert and to skew the deliberations of the fathers, just like the corrupt operators who put together the Fraudinariate under poor old Papa Ratzi's trustful gaze before he fled into the backyard monastery. At least he gave a good bye present to the C of E bishops who were laughing their arses off to have gotten rid of us and dumping us all into the RC Church. When there was an RC Church. Before Bozo Bergoglio popped out of that Martini Mafia run Conclave.

It doesn't suggest to me that they are particularly keen to take the risk of leaving it to the Holy Spirit to guide the Synod, despite all the Holy Father's fine talk about Synods being Protected Spaces for the Spirit, just like his Predecessor let the Fraudinariate adapt the liturgy put together by Henry VIII's favorite Archbishop who brought his wife home from Germany in a trunk.

Footnote: If anybody's interested ... this sort of close analysis of a text to see what games are really being played was a speciality of Dr Eric Mascall, a great Anglican Catholic (which is what we all really are in the Fraudinariate - NOT actual Roman Catholics) theologian who had enjoyed a Mathematical education which included formal logic. He used to make mincemeat of the documents of Lambeth Conferences. He is part of the Patrimony which is our contribution to the life of the Universal Church, along with bad mouthing Bozo Bergoglio and hoping The Bishop Fellay Show allows bearded married priests and their boyfriends into their schismatic Church, unless Truman Cardinal Capote becomes anti-Pope Pius XIII. Time for gin and tonic with the boys. Hope "wife" is still out with her bridge partners. Ta ta dearies.


STFU said...
Very perceptive, Father, and other examples abound. The use of the impersonal absolves the author from personal responsibility or ownership. “It is said…” “People say…” “Studies show…” all evince an air of authority, respectability…and deniability.

It puts me in mind of the scheming Francis Urquhart in “House of Cards” looking into the camera and piously proclaiming: “You might very well think that. I could not possibly comment.” Don't I write you comments like I'm out of my fucking mind? That's because I am! Ta-ta, luv! 
A-holeRegnans said...
Thank you, Father. Your insight is always refreshing! And your hatred of Pope Francis must really piss off all those UK RC Bishops who did their best to keep you "absolutely null and utterly void!"

A-hole Regnans


  1. My my my, the olde bloke certainly had a hair across his arse !

  2. Can you imagine how upset the UK hierarchy must be that they weren't able to succeed in their efforts to keep this mental case out of the RC priesthood for any longer than they did? Can you imagine how delighted the CofE hierarchy must be to have gotten rid of him finally once and for all?

  3. Is Zildo for real???
    -Jetting from Japan to New York so he can swill martinis with "young priests and seminarians" at Done-Woody in Yonkers (how gauche!)
    -Sampling street meat in Central Park by his favorite elm tree grove.
    -More dinners out with mysterious friends including a "distinguished Italian gentleman" so he had to speak Italian. Did you know Lacy Boy speaks Italian? He doesn't want you to miss that.
    -Playing deacon at a mass inside a seminary and giving the following homily:
    I talked about the Sacred Heart as a model for dealing with other people, especially fallen away Catholics, and asking help of your Guardian Angels when you have conflict or need help in finding the right path with them.
    DEEP! but seriously, holy shit that is distressing. Let's hope most of the boys just politely nodded.

    1. He's been promoted from subdeacon? One step below that you wouldn't have hair on your scrote yet.

  4. He speaks Italian due to his quondam job at the Vatican. I often wondered why he gave it up. Was he like that idiot ambassador who couldn't wait to get back to good old Southy for its incomparable cuisine?

  5. Tauri stercora apud Cunniwicke semper vivat

  6. Zzzzzz the ass is at it again. Evidently the UnaVoce group in LaCrosse invited him to one of their Masses. Of course, the slacker cannot attend. That would mean driving all the way across the state just to sit in choir. Zzzzz wants to be invited to sing the Mass (for you in the 21 century that means he wants to celebrate). He must be the center of attention of course. Why would that be important? Well, I'm sure there is the stipend and travelling fees and maybe a speaker's fee if he delivers the homily. Crass, materialistic simony.

  7. To say nothing of the crapulous disclaimer about Synod fatigue all the while flogging the turgid 'Rigging' paperback and stirring the conspiracy stories about the final report having been already been written.

    That sort of rigging, fixing and hubris were trademarks of the JP II Benedict XVI years when transparency had something to do with clean windows and that's all.

    Notice too that the monthly $ meter is up to $6000 no doubt to recoup some of the chow and booze outlays for the Tokyo - NYC junkets.

  8. HoneyWhiskers, the UK's STILL Anglo-Catholic and NOT Roman Catholic, fake priest published this the other day:

    10 October 2015
    A Miracle?
    Regular readers will be aware that I quite often go into the Ashmolean Museum, England's oldest public museum and part of this University, to commune with that great Pontiff, Papa Lambertini, Pope Benedict XIV. Upstairs, and right along to the furthest room to the West, there he is just inside the door, carved by a very competent anonymous Baroque sculptor, as one of a set of four busts of eighteenth century popes,

    Today, he was silent; and then I noticed a tear, a single tear, rolling down from his right eye.

    After a few moments of puzzlement, I decided to take a look at the other three Sovereign Pontiffs. Yes! Each of them was clearly lachrymose.

    Whatever can this portentous portent portend?

    I shall not enable suggestions which are in more than twelve words.
    Posted by Fr John Hunwicke at 17:27 11 comments:

    One of my friends sent in a comment suggesting WHY THE TEAR?


    Gee for some reason HoneyWhiskers didn't allow that one.

    Now he's posted information on a new book that explores his own I HATE POPE FRANCIS form of Anglo-Catholicism.

    Will the UK Nuncio finally tell THE ORDINARY NEWTON to plug this arsehole up?