With Pope Francis' visit to the USA still a week away, let me tell you, those friends who like to keep Old Demented Father D in the "Church-gossip-loop" have been bombarding me with emails. Rome. Washington. Philadelphia. Argentina. The UK. West Hollywood. Madison. People everywhere read my humble musings. And send me juicy things to throw into the blender (besides the booze in the blender that daily will render the frozen concoction that helps me hang on. But I digress . . . )
So I heard a long time ago people were telling Papa Francesco just how much they didn't like the old-sounding-but-new version of The Roman Missal. Some call it The Moron-Missal because it's mostly the work of a Monsignor whose name includes Moron in it. And who loved Papa Ratzi! So much he could just
Like Frank Sinatra who left the movies to become a priest . . . remember . . .
|And Father Sinatra always said the Breviary. See it there? Benziger, I think. Not the new Liturgy of the Hours in English for Father Frank!|
. . . this Monsignor with Moron in his name also gave up the movies to become a priest. This was probably his most famous PR photo and emphasizes his favorite thing to do next to making the Mass sound old:
But this was his most famous movie PR photo:
And you really need to see the future-Monsignor in the flick. It shows him taking part in the liturgy with all the reverence and devotion he talks about in later movies he made after being made a Monsignor.
Some people really liked the stuff everyone else though sucked:
1) Liturgical book publishers. Buy the new stuff, baby! Pay big Bucks or heavy Pounds or expensive Euros and shut up! And Monsignor has a publishing deal with a weird company called The Mideast Theological Foreplay. Cutbacks and royalties, rock! Read how Monsignor remembers his first daily Missal in third grade. And dressing up like his third grade teacher, Sister M. Latinitas. Just kidding. But can't you imagine what scout camp would have been like if he and Father Zuhlsdorf had been in the same pack!
2) Everyone who likes the Old Mass in Latin not the New Mass in Old English. Like Professor Peter Krapnewski and the bow-tied dudes and cassock-bound clerics of The New Liturgical Bowel Movement, making all kinds of money on stuff none of them ever use. Here they are at this summer's Latin Liturgical Institute Closing Mass.
3) Musicians who hate the new text but needed to make money so they wrote new Masses to fit the new words that don't fit into normal English. Here's what they think Mass should look like every Sunday:
But I digress . . .
Like I said, some call the new old sounding Missal The Moron-Missal of Monsignor's name.
But I guess the official Latin title is the Missale Moronicum.
And I guess the emails were right because the Vatican just released Papa Francesco's Travel Missal for the trip to the US and Cuba.
I think it's time Papa Francesco's liturgy team went to the Monsignor and learned all about the new old-sounding Missale Moronicum!