|Welcome back, |
Or you could find yourself "roasted".
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Devotedly in Christ,
Your Very Important Even Though Not
But I do have a devoted readership among Seminarians world wide!
Plenty of "hits" on my humble page, from Madison, points East and West, North and South, Ordinary Form, Extraordinary Form, Latin, English, and a few other languages.
Even quite a few hits from Rome (and I don't mean dear young Reynaldo just checking up on me to make sure I haven't thrown out his One Direction posters and lunchbox!).
So the other day one of our . . . let's say "young ethnic Seminarians" (from one of the many countries that doesn't have fond memories of the USA's "action" in their homeland) . . . emailed me with news of his return to the Seminary for another year of "formation" . . . and awesome pictures from his Rector's Welcome Back Opening Mass and Pig Roast.
I don't know about you, and I get the Opening Mass, but is a pig roast a very good way to reopen the Seminary year? Besides slaughtering edible animals, you may not know this but all my years in the inner city priory of my non-meat-eating monastic Order that combined the full chanted Divine Office (including Matins in the middle of the night) with its day and night street-smart ministry taught me what city thugs and hoodlums of both sexes mean by "pig roast" and "spit roast."
Ye gods! Oh well . . .
Dear Father D,
Hope all is well with your stipend-scooping boat ministry! LOL! After a gruesome flight (I don't have lay losers paying my way like Father Zuhlsdorf . . . yet! Just kidding . . . you told me not to turn into a mercenary clericalist asshole like him and I'm trying not to!), I landed in XXXX and took public transportation, like you suggested Pope Francis would want me to do, over to XXXX Seminary. It was already night and this was the best picture I could get of it. My room is the one with the light in the very back. At the top of the tower is the Rector's Suite which he had remodeled for $XXX,XXX. Probably from all the money he's made on his books and videos (and I won't forget your joke about watching only his Church vids and not his porn clips. Ha! Ha! Ha! I think even his Church vids are porn . . . but I digress, as you would say!)
Rector "presided" at Lauds. You told me to ask him during the first Q & A where he stood on the Deflated Balls Controversy but I don't dare cuz that would make the other Rector-haters laugh and Rector ass-kissers scheme against our "perseverance"!
Faculty is the same as last year and they greeted us in the morning after that 45 minute SUNG Lauds in all the languages represented by the seminarians from about 50 different nations. Eww and Ugh what a way to start a day.
Then came what has to be one of the grossest beginnings to anything I've ever had to go to:
|We all called this "OUR RECTOR LOOK ALIKE"|
Sincerely in Jesus and His Mother Mary,
Seminarian Readers from around the world: let's hear from you. Feel free to fill my COMBOX with precious and riotous stories about all the