Tuesday, September 29, 2015


My Italian's not so good, but Reynaldo sent this to me the other day, and told me "the gist" of it:

Nomina di Membri della Congregazione delle Cause dei Santi
Il Papa ha nominato Membri della Congregazione delle Cause dei Santi l'Em.mo Cardinale Carlo Caffarra, Arcivescovo Metropolita di Bologna, e l'Emi.mo Cardinale Raymond Leo Burke, Patrono del Sovrano Militare Ordine di Malta.

He says Cardinal Burke has been named Metropolitan of Baloney and Member of the Roman Curia's "Congregation of the Causes of Saints."

Reynaldo added, "Looks like he's going to be in charge of canonizing Lefebvre . . . ha ha ha ha. No beatification needed for martyrs!"
Who killed him? Same people that prepared the Luciani Latte, I guess. But say, what a randy dude Marcel was back when he was Titular Bishop of WeHo, huh? Hippie beard and all! Just kidding. I don't know where he started out, but I know where he ended up.
Amazing that he attended Vatican II, signed all its decrees, and then changed his mind. Oh well. Probably pissed that he got passed over for Cardinal. Probably needed $$$ from all those right wing whack jobs like the idiots funding Father Zildorf's "Turning Japanese" project.

Speaking of Cardinals, back to Cardinal Burke. So he's back in the Curia, and Reynaldo sent me pictures of his new digs.
Cardinal Burke's new living room
Cardinal Burke's new office
There's an extra room too for his cappa maxima to live in and receive visitors who want to hang out and chat it up with the cappa before heading in to talk to the Capt'n! Ha ha ha:
Cardinal Burke's Cappa Maxima Living Room-Office
This "ample room" is needed because the cappa maxima can't fit in the office (Reynaldo sent me these awesome pics of Burke at various stages of his Vatican career):
See that ermine cape? I was surprised to find out that they've also given him his own ermine kennel:
It's out behind the Swiss Guard Cadets' barracks where he used to play racquetball with the cadets before he started wearing the cappa maxima every day.

Here's the Keeper of the Kennel getting Burke's new mozzetta ready:

Reynaldo sent pics of the little fellas who sacrificed their lives in order to give Burke something for other people to dress and undress him in so that he could show us all his humility:
Jorge Mario
Well, I guess the only thing we can say is "Welcome Back" and congratulations on being named Metropolitan of Bologna!

Reynaldo says Burke gets a new vehicle to ride in! No little bitty teenie weenie Fiat for Burke! Here's Burke's very own La Machina Bologna! Reynaldo says it's a Big Weenie and something Burke's really used to riding. Whatever that means. Reynaldo always has these "double meaning" things that I just don't get.
But I have to thank Reynaldo for sending the pictures, and the song La Machina Bologna plays when Burke's riding around the Vatican in it. Enjoy!


  1. It's like Francis naming Cardinal Rebecca Sarah as Prefect of the Congregation for Divine Worship. Shows that this stuff means NOTHING to Francis and is totally irrelevant to anything important the Church is called to do or be. Great post, Father D!

  2. Father Z gives us a glimpse into the Burke Pontificate: "BTW… papal pressers will be eliminated during the upcoming reign of Pius XIII. So will papal trips and virtually all audiences. Pius XIII will be seen so rarely that the MSM will run stories that he may actually be dead. But I digress."

    Back in the late 80s when I was and HIV/AIDS educator for the Red Cross "MSM" meant "Men who have Sex with Men."
    Just sayin.

    1. Considering Ray Burke would be the first pope in the modern era actually heckled in St Peter 's there would be good reason for him to hide out.

  3. Hilarious! Great post...thanks.

  4. I'm surprised Mueller hasn't ordered Hans Kung's skin to be turned into a lamp shade to brighten up Burke's office over at the Knights of Moola. I wish Father D had included the photo of Truman Cardinal Capote surrounded by the Fruitloops of Stupidville from one of the previous posts. What a douche bag.

  5. top stuff, hilarious

    "Metropolitan of Baloney"

    { : D

  6. I'm just so sick of Bully Burke. Like Buddy Cianci he shows up to the opening of an envelope in those stupid robes. Utterly revolting!

  7. I am really hoping you can give us a forum to discuss the shockingly misogynistic and puerile "Apostolic Exhortation" that Bp Tom Olmsted egested on the long-suffering people of Phoenix yesterday. It's hard to imagine a more stupid letter.

    Which is why Fr Zuhlsdorf went into orbit over it on his blog, natch.

    1. Holy crap! Am I ever thrilled that I am 1) not living in that diocese; 2) not a man!

      Thanks for the heads up.

    2. Went into orbit?? Too bad he had to re-enter.