Saturday, August 22, 2015


Even living here in my humble Hermitage-by-the-Sea 24/7, 365 (or 366) days a year, I can tell when summer is coming to an end, just by looking at the folks getting in their last Rays and Waves! Monastic hospitality keeps the house humming, even though Reynaldo no longer serves as Guestmaster. We have our regular guests.
But some of their younger Sisters visit us too! The nuns are on the left . . . 
Some "outside the Order" also drop by!
That's Sister The Donald, visiting us from her ministry with immigrants to Key West. She always has awesome beach gear! Can you guess who her name-patron is?

Anyhow, one of the wonderful things about having this humble blog is that friends send me all kinds of pictures and news and funny stories . . . check the comment box for stories from YOUR HOME DIOCESE!

Most times there's no name, but enough info to help you nail the place down pretty accurately. Although the screw-ups are so widespread, any place referred to could be your place!

I mean, it amazes me - so outside the Circle of Light as I am - that almost all of you are "blessed" to have both a BISHOP from the Pontifical North American Dance Academy and a BISHOP'S SECRETARY / MC / DRIVER / FLUNKY / PUPPY-DOG / EYE-CANDY / SPY / INTERCOM-LISTENING SNOOP / NASTY OFFICIOUS MESSAGE-LEAVER (calling his classmate: "Hello, Bill? This is Monsignor/Father Cerebro DeMerda. The Bishop asked me to call and tell/remind/order/ you..") Well, you get the idea. The job description goes on and on and on. And the obnoxious personalities abound. 

Here's two pictures sent to me by two completely different people in completely different life circumstances . . . but the pictures strike me as so similar you could give them the same title: TWIN LOSERS!
Could you imagine hiring either of either two people? All four spend their lives living off the kindness of the rest of us. Big difference? The two in the bottom picture are authentic and even seem a little likable! I'm thinking, if Jesus came walking along the road, you can tell right away which two He'd want to hang out with . . .

But I digress . . . back to my title, Big Days in Rome.

So yesterday was Someone Special's Feast Day! (At least in the Novus Ordo. If you're in the Abrogatus Ordo, we're talking September 3rd).

But in "Conciliar" Rome, as those fun-loving people-charmers of The Bishop Fellay Show call it, it was THE Feast Day of:
Saint Pius X
(gloriously reigned and notoriously excommunicated people left and right from 1903-1914
Was as nice to kids though as he was rough on theologians! That's why we all got to make so much money our First Holy Communions at age 7! And imagine having a hatchet-man named "Merry" del Val?! Oy!)

Guess who decided to really celebrate the feast in Rome? Saint Pius X's Current Successor!
The feast of Saint Pius X was celebrated in a special way this morning in Vatican. During the 7 o’clock Mass, Monsignor Lucio Bonora, from Treviso, who works in the Secretariat of State, presided at the eucharistic celebration at the altar of Saint Pius X in Saint Peter's Basilica - with a special believer sitting in one of the benches: Pope Francis! The Holy Father had been praying by the altar of Saint Pius X since early in the morning, and when the Mass started he stopped in order to participate, receveing the Embrace of Peace and Holy Communion from Don Lucio, after having stood in line with the believers who were approaching the Eucharist! At the end, the Celebrant invited the large number of people who had come in the meantime to entrust to Saint Pius X all the needs of their families and the Church, and particularly his successor, Pope Francis. A nice surprise, and a special gift for the Celebrant and the participating believers. The Pope himself, at the end of the celebration confided to Monsignor Bonora that he had prayed particularly for the catechists. In Argentina, Saint Pius X, the “Pope of the Catechism,” is the Patron of Catechists, and when the Pope was Archbishop of Buenos Aires, right on Saint Pius’ feast he always met with the catechists of his diocese. At the end of the celebration, Monsignor Bonora thanked the Pope, who said to him: “I came for a personal prayer, because I have already celebrated Mass, but then I saw you approaching the altar to celebrate and so I stopped . . .  I told you that I am devoted to Saint Pius X!” (Alessandra Cecchin in "Lavita del Popolo")

Hmm, not to celebrate Mass! Just to attend Mass. During which he exchanged the "Embrace" of Peace with the celebrant and the people around him? Has your priest wiped out the Sign of Peace yet by charging into the Lamb of God Agnus Dei? Hey, that's only right! How can you recognize Jesus' Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Blessed Sacrament if you get distracted trying to recognize Him in the common ordinary people around you? And, according to the Italian article, Pope Francis "lined up" to receive Holy Communion!?! What YOUR Chancery Office's Pontifical North American Dance Academy grad - with or without his zucchetto and ring and pectoral cross already! - wants to know is: "on the tongue or in the hand?" "standing up or kneeling down?"

There'd be none of that at RETRO-rate's final destination: SSPX and Econe!
How would you like to be on the receiving end of The Bishop Fellay Show's Fickle Finger of Fate? With that red sand-paper glove. OUCH!

Speaking of the Pontifical North American Dance Academy and Econe, it was a big day at both places! And we've got the pictures to help you enjoy it as much as the actual participants did!

America's Best and Brightest Arrive!
Clap IN! Clap OUT!
(Clap During? Visit the Infirmary magna cum celeritate!)
Ecce quam bonum! Laetatus sum! Ad Deum qui laetificat iuventutem meam. Dies irae dies illa. Lacrimosa dies illa.

Serious looking eh?

Well, no worries! Because THAT is what RECREATION is for - in every Seminary!

My Spiritual Director used to tell me that as annoying as being at recreation was, it was just as important as being at Mass for building up my personal spirituality and the whole community's witness to Jesus and the togetherness that was experienced in the Holy Family's home at Nazareth, before it flew to Loreto.

Yeah. Right . . . it was a colossal pain in my then as-yet-not-so-colossal ass.

And things are JUST THE SAME at Econe:
Messy and sweaty in those Econe-Soutones! He! He! He!

Not so in Rome! Things are now way more sophisticated at the Pontifical North American Dance Academy!
Don't you hope YOUR Diocese is lucky enough to score acquire one of those two "Best and Brightest" as a genuine Holy-Spirit-chosen Successor of the Apostles?! Oh yeah, baby! Trippin' the light fantastic! Gonna pack those churches of the future to the rafters!

Imagine what Francis is saying in that picture? Any questions why he didn't even bother hanging around there for lunch the one day they talked him into visiting a place he'd never have sent his seminarians to while he was an Archbishop?

Well, I decided to go dig out a picture of MY old seminary faculty just to close this off . . . time to get the boat ready for more stipend scooping mission station visiting!

Ah those were the days! For them!
The one on the right received the Stigmata just before he died. Or one of the kitchen nuns went after him with a meat cleaver. We never found out for sure.
And for us!
So then this Hooker comes up to the Nun and says, "Hey, Sister, got a light? And the nun says . . . "
No tap dancing on our ranch, let me tell you! And there's a song my kids nephews and nieces were listening to the other day that would have been perfect as our own community song! In fact, it really might fit in with how you'd like to be remembered next time you visit YOUR local Chancery Office! Picture the Pontifical North American Dance Academy Bishop's Pontifical North American Dance Academy Flunkie outrunning your . . . holy water sprinkler! He! He! He!


  1. We'll, finally I get to enjoy the play on words in the "labels" section. Thank you, Father Dearest!

  2. Aren't you being just a bit camp here?

  3. Special prayers for you, Mr. Brandt! You've done wonderful things and deserve every blessing.

  4. Mr Brandt,
    If it's High Camp you are looking for, here's some suggestions: Zuhlsdorf's blog; The Eponymous Flower; Mundabor; Rorate Caeli; The Bones; The New Liturgical Movement (aka 'The Peristaltic') and there's more to be sure.
    They're as camp as a row of tents on those sites.

  5. Best and Brightest???

    And look at those dancers. With the Show Tunes Choir standing next to them.

    Our bishop and his secretary are grads. And all the "Romani" get preferential treatment. Their arrogance is obnoxious and their incompetence is both legendary and laughable.

    They all seem to be "waiting out" Francis, hoping the next Pope will be as dumb as people who still think the grads of such a dump are "The Best and Brightest."

    Oh did I mention that no one is more anti married clergy or women priests than NACers?

    Anyone wonder why?

  6. How I envy you cradle Catholics the "being-raised-by-the-nuns" thing. The surfboarding, mini-skirted one in particular.

  7. Pius X was a nut. The fact that Pope Francis admires him in any way or shape is disturbing.

    1. Maybe you're thinking of the Society named after him?
      Or maybe Pius IX? He was certifiable for sure!

    2. No Pius X was certifiable as well. The Oath against Modernism comes to mind. He was also an anti-Semite. There is a reason why Catholic fundamentalist anti-Semites like him. He was one of them!

    3. Wasn't a lot of the nuttiness (and nastiness) under Pius X both thought up and carried out by Merry del Val? A true nut and nasty. Sent packing by one of his former victims, Giacomo della Chiesa when he became Benedict XV. When our spiritual director recommended del Val's "Litany of Humility" to us, he said, "This is so well written because the author had much to be humble about."

  8. I really don't understand these former Roman Catholics who have joined The Ruskies or the Greci, and who still comment negatively about the Vatican II church.

    The story of Lot's wife comes to mind.

    1. LOL - nice analogy! You got him pegged alright. Our snooty friend can't seem to turn his back on the fleshpots of Rome. Perhaps Orthodox liturgy is a bit tame.

    2. Anonymous, what makes you think I have anything against the "Vatican II church?" I like Vatican II. It's traddies like Mr Zuhlsdorf I can't stand.

    3. I think Patrick should jump ship to the Anglicans , the COE are really open and more welcoming to guys that like to suck cock

    4. How drôle! And I congratulate you for your courage and maturity in saying that anonymously.

    5. Oh come on, be nice to Patrick. After all, it's a tough time for him, what with the One Direction break-up.

    6. My bad, poor Patti, but I just heard One Direction did'nt actualy break up, they are just taking a hiatus to work on solo projects. So Patti can now have his erection back over One Direction

    7. Ya go easy on the lad, must be hard being mentally challenged, gay, unemployed, in your mid 20's living at home with mommy

    8. Mentally challenged? If you really believe that and are still mocking him then you are more of a douchebag than I thought humanly possible. Yay! Let's go pick on the handicapped! Let's trip the crippled and push the wheelchair bound into traffic.
      I don't agree with Patrick all the time, but he is one the few brave enough to use his own identity. If you want to shit on him, find your balls (or your overaries) use your own name, and have at it. Otherwise, piss off.

    9. Shit... If only a Zuhlsdorf superior would send him such a note! We all, from time to time need that awakening; the proverbial swift kick in the ass.

    10. Well said Fr. D! Patricius tells the truth which his enemies don't like such as the troll 'Anthony Munday'. Looking at what the troll has written on Patricius' own blog A M obviously fancies Patrick and is put out that the latter would have no truck with sacrilegious, impenitent confession and then a lunch and who knows what in Pimlico. Sorry Anthony Munday why don't you try you chances with Mark Thomas?

    11. Dear TheAnonYMouse, It has finally dawned on me that it is just not possible to have a robust exchange of views online without being banned or called a troll by bloggers whose views you do not share; one such is Patrick. Also, and more importantly, there is a danger that comments may cause genuine distress; and as Patrick presents himself, increasingly, as vulnerable, it behoves me in Christian charity to assume him to be so; and therefore I shall not engage him online any further.

      For the record, I haven’t the least interest in his sexuality, and I cannot approve of the language used by other commenters above; my own comment was a throwaway witticism, like the one you have had at my expense. My disagreements with Patrick are solely about what I see as his frequently harsh and immature - and sometimes worse - comments on religious and other subjects. He himself admits to have been banned from other blogs.

    12. PS Dear TheAnonYMouse I want to thank you for your comment which has spurred me to some further observations about Patrick.

      In a most revealing recent post [in which he slags me off, in passing!] he concludes that he wishes to break down the self-imposed prison bars in his life. My heart goes out to him – whose wouldn’t - not least because he is not so very different from myself, a solitary by temperament, whose parents let him down by not insisting that he “get out more!” My dad, a senior civil servant, made it clear that he expected me to follow his career path. Cue, twenty years later, my nervous breakdown while working in London, in the shadow of the Houses of Parliament. These days, I work in a warehouse. I enjoy my job, and am well paid for it. We have a great a laugh at work, about football [soccer] and other things. The one thing I don’t have is a career, but hey, as the Americans say, It Is What It Is. Yes, I wish I had taken the advice so brilliantly offered to Patrick on one of his recent blogposts: learn a trade. If I was young again, I would want to be a what we in the UK call a “white van man” – my own little company, one or two employees; a kitchen fitter, perhaps. Helping people re-design the living space at the centre of their family lives, making it happen, and being well paid into the bargain! (And Jesus was a carpenter, after all). Christianity is existential: of course we must bewail and confess our past failings, but there is no point in useless regrets. My Christian life now, my vocation, is doing my best as a warehouse employee and looking after my ill and now sometimes mentally frail mother in what I laughingly call my “spare time”. This is what God asks of me. I think Patrick has all sorts of expectations of himself which are a waste of emotional energy and I think that running his blog has been the worst decision of this life, a distraction. His latest post, for instance, quixotically argues that the English Church was always effectively Orthodox. Well, tell it to the marines. Tell it to Alfred, Aethelwulf, Ine.

  9. The Bishop Fellay thing went right over my head this WHOLE TIME until I saw the tag. Then I had a great laugh.

  10. This is a LOT of fresh, new, MALE ontological wonderfulness:

  11. It is fantastic that His Holiness Pope Francis has high regard for Pope Saint Pius X. I hope that Pope Francis' devotion to Pope Saint Pius X spurs devotion throughout the Church to the holy and humble Pope Saint Pius X.

    I have noted on a couple of blogs that, as usual, liberals and Traditionalists have attempted desperately to spin the Pope's participation at the Mass in question. Certain Traditionalists have noted, for example, that the Mass was offered ad orientem. They also noted that certain liberal bloggers had cropped the photo of the Mass to obscure that fact.

    Certain liberals have entered into "damage control" as Pope Francis declared his great devotion to a "Traditional" Pope. Liberals are at a loss as to how to justify their false "Pope Francis is a tradition-destroying radical" narrative as His Holiness has called our attention to Pope Saint Pius X.

    Various liberals attempted to circumnavigate the above by having focused on Pope Francis' "man of the people" gesture...attended Mass in the pews (chairs), participated in the Sign of Peace, lined up to receive Holy Communion as a "common" man.

    Yep...what to do with a supposed "radical" tradition-destroying Pontiff who declared his great devotion to, of all Popes, Pope Saint Pius X, following an ad orientem Mass.


    Mark Thomas

    1. Yep, it's the way people on this blog try to destroy me, crop me, crap on me, laugh at me.

      But I'm exactly the type of parishioner every really good priest is looking for. The kind who rambles endlessly on in love with his own brilliance and sure of his own intelligence.

      So just be glad that I'm a bonafide traditionalist Catholic whack job who has found a place where he can gas bag the troops and not have to worry about being as annoying online as I am in public.


      Mark Thomas

    2. Hey Mark Thomas,
      I'm coming over to the States in a couple of weeks as a travel valet for one of the Cardinals who's accompanying the liberal but traditional-pope-loving Pope on his trip to Cuba and the USA?

      Wanna hang and chill?

      Can you post your phone number for me here?

      Thanks, man!


    3. Dear Reynaldo,

      Are you so much like Jesus Christ that you'd want to hang and chill with a major league loser like me?

      Mark Thomas

      PS Are those muscles real?

    4. Mark, I heard the voice of Jesus say "Come unto me and rest."

      He said it in Hebrew.

  12. "...but the pictures strike me as so similar you could give them the same title: TWIN LOSERS! The two in the bottom picture are authentic and even seem a little likable! I'm thinking, if Jesus came walking along the road, you can tell right away which two He'd want to hang out with..."

    Dear Father, wouldn't Jesus Christ wish to hang out with the so-called "losers" in the top photo? Jesus came to heal and correct the sick and wayward. Therefore, wouldn't he opt to visit with the men in the top photo?

    I hope that such is the case as I would like to believe that Jesus would wish to hang out with me. After all, I am a major league loser who needs Jesus Christ.


    Mark Thomas

    1. Dear Mark Thomas,

      You are indeed a major league loser.

      But don't blame that on me.

      Comes from your attraction to the TLM which I directed my Vicar to abrogate almost half a century ago.

      So don't expect to hang and chill with me.

      Hang and chill with Reynaldo.


      PS Reynaldo's muscles are real. Feel 'me!

  13. Sorry, Patrick, I did not have you in mind at all. As far as I know you haven't made the actual leap from Rome, neither to the Anglicans nor to the Orthodox. I perceive that you are still a pope catholic. I had two other bloggers in mind.

    I want you to know that I appreciate your liturgical blog. I especially enjoyed your account of your recent Grecian vacation.

    Sorry eti kai eti for any aggravation I may have caused you!

  14. Why are they playing association football, i. e. 'soccer' in cassocks? It looks like a fantasy for people who are looking to substitute a validated role in place of thei own self-image. But that is common when you're young. I'm just wondering how your first undercover vacation comes about.

  15. John Zuhlsdorf, you were so right. I should have stayed away from women. It's all over for me.

  16. Guess who the Fruit Loop is thinking about?

    ASK FATHER: Can we ask God to strike down enemies?

    Posted on 25 August 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

    michael_fighting_the_dragon1From a reader:

    Is it a sin to ask God to strike down an enemy of the Church?

    And the bastard is stirring up this hysterical Francis hated to raise more dough from the weak and easily led to fund the next "My view for awhile" junket.

    1. Let's only hope that Zulsmallpecker's rantings won't inspire a real psycho to try something stupid.

  17. Is he a moderate? Is he a liberal? Is he a conservative? Is he a Traditionalist? I dunno wot to think ...

  18. I don't think you should be referring to Pope Francis as a fuit loop.

  19. Pope F. LAUGHS at the claims of Medjugorje.

    In what was interpreted as a thinly veiled jab at the claims, [Francis] recently joked during a morning homily about “visionaries who can tell us exactly what message Our Lady will be sending at 4 o’clock this afternoon.?”

    The article quotes an EWTN flunkie giving us that old saw, "the Church is in no hurry". Also, the old fear that the lay people will be, "shaken, and confused." Right.