Tuesday, July 21, 2015

THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS . . . .

I don't know about you, but I love to see the Fickle Finger of Fate snag a winner and send him soaring . . . especially when the poor bastard's been trudging up the Ecclesiastical Ladder of Glory rung by rung by greasy rung for years . . . 

But good news today!

Finally!

No wonder Cardinal Oulette didn't go to South America with Francesco! Busy busy busy back home in Rome with paperwork  . . . 


ANNOUNCEMENT:

Pope Francis

Names

Father Robert Weigel-Barron


Star of Stage
(Catholicism, a 185-DVD introduction to the last 2015 years of Roman Wisdom)

Screen
(EWTN: Elderly Woman Talking Nonsense)

and

Seminary
(Manly Mundelein: Roo-hah! Roo-hah! Roo-hah!)

Auxiliary Bishop of Los Angeles
and
Titular Bishop of We-Ho

Episcopal Motto:

"Ego sic curro non quasi in incertum"
English translation: "Lace 'em up, men!"
Cathedral Church and Location of Post-Consecration Reception!
Can you imagine how disappointed Archbishop Cupich must be?
The Most Reverend Blase Cupich
NOT Cardinal George's choice of successor to 75 Chimneys Mansion
Nah, me neither . . . that was my (third) blueberry mimosa talking . . . 

Plus, the previous Cardinal was REALLY disappointed!
Francis Cardinal George
"Damn it, Schultz, I've sent Barron's name in at least 90 times! Latino dude deaf?"
And can you imagine how surprised and delighted the priests of LA must be this AM? OK, not as delighted as the priests of Chicago, but hey . . . super-star makes three-pointer from the far far far end of the court! As they say at Manly Mundelein!
"So are ye tellin' me, lad, dat de nearest tird coat holder and Confirmation Machine dey could find was 2000 miles away? Dat's total bullshit, son!"
But I think here at the old Father D Traveling Salvation Show we called this one a long time ago.

OK, so Bishop-elect Weigel-Barron's view of the future of priestly ministry isn't the Holy Father's. As per this vocations ad for Buenos Aires:

And surprise! Even though he went to school in Gay Paree, guess where Bishop-elect Weigel-Barron was "Scholar in Residence? Yes, the Pontifical North American Dance Academy, fountain of that tidal-wave size dewfall of blessings we call The American Hierarchy!

But Bishop-elect Weigel-Barron wants you LA dudes to know when to ditch the tap shoes and grab the jock strap (uh . . . your own . . . I know it's Southern Cali but . . .).

Man up!

Lace 'em up!

Get ready to band together as men.

And forget this Latino papa.

He's not mentioned even once in the Weigel-Barron Vocation ad!

The future of the priesthood, according to Bishop Weigel-Barron is Basketball and

The Heroic Pope

Know who that is?



Nice work if you can get it.

(Imagine how pissed The Admirable Zed must be? Ha!)

Rung by rung by greasy rung.

Thanks, Cardinal Oulette! YOU coulda been a contender. In fact, I seem to remember you were . . . 

*Sigh*

Oh well, time to mix the fourth, fifth and sixth mimosas . . . . 

32 comments:

  1. Just another clerical superstud that is riding high until some chick/chuck steps forward and talks about him diddling their diddle during an exorcism.
    We've been down this Eutenauer/Corapi road before.
    Should have re-thought this one, Pope Francis.

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  2. Oh dear.

    Auntie is worried, because Michael Bore-Us of ChurchMendacious.TV, simply HATES Father / Bishop-Elect Barron, because Barron believes that Hell might actually be very sparsely populated. HERESY!

    Look out for a major CMTV exposé on the wicked heretic Barron. Coming to a screen near you.

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  3. "EWTN: Elderly Woman Talking Nonsense"

    heeheehee!

    What's the issue with Barron tho'? He's been bashed by rightwingers so I took him as neutral if not good. I'm counting on the insiders here to dish.

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  4. If Weigel is a fan, ugh.

    http://eppc.org/publications/progressive-catholic-authoritarianism/

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  5. The adorers at the shrine of the Polished Turd are on suicide watch after hearing of the Red Barron's episcopal nomination.

    Lard Ass is silent on that one and is compensating with yet another plea for cash. Crass, the Guts Ache, has posted shots of the humble fare he bolted in NYC while at the same time bitching and moaning about another string of lean days for donations.
    With no insight, evaluative conscience and an under performing moral compass, thank God he is not in a parish.

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  6. So they were serving blueberry mimosas over at Quigley today. Was Cupich acting as bartender? And when I heard about this smarmy brown-noser's appointment I felt sorry for the people of LA and knew that the champagne and conga lines probably began early in certain sectors of Chicago.

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  7. Recently discovered your blog from a friend on Facebook. I loved the way you've called hypocrites out for their bull. Not sure if you're a real priest but I just love your posts. Even better than Eye of the Tiber which has a post about Baron.

    http://www.eyeofthetiber.com/2015/07/21/barron-wondering-why-bad-things-happen-to-good-people/

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  8. The good thing about this appointment is how it must piss off the contemptible Zuhlsdorf who wants more and more money, and the other assorted idiots, like Voris' crazy priest with the sword and cigar who wants more and more fame. And this guy is nowhere near as "flamboyant" shall we say as the last media Bishop Super Star, Hung-Up But Almost Blessed Fulton Sheen!

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    Replies
    1. As Cushing of Boston famously said of Fully "Don't connect me with that big fairy!"

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    2. Hey, now, I love me some Archbishop Fulton Sheen.

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    3. That's what he said.
      And by he I mean a 23 year old rough trade professional His Lordship used to frequent.

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    4. Do you mean that's the real reason behind his beatification process being halted, and not the kerfuffle over his relics between New York and Peoria? And here in Rochester -- which got rid of him --- priests are vying to be the pastor of the first St. Fulton Sheen parish! (And some are trying hard to have history repeat itself ....)

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    5. "And by he I mean a 23 year old rough trade professional His Lordship used to frequent"

      Please, go on.

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    6. When I studied at Dunwoodie, during the first reign of Eddie O'Brien, there was an older priest professor who used to treat some us to a couple cold brews on hot nights. After a couple brews his tongue loosened up and he would tell tales of his younger days. As he told it there was a particular scruffy young chap that Fully used to patron on a regular basis, even bringing him to his private residence. Also, the real source of the row between him and Spelly had nothing to do with powdered milk for the missions, like the bio reads. The Cardinal didn't hated that Sheen out shined him in the press and out fundraised him. A few influential clergy in Rochester learned of the twink from the City and used that knowledge to help encourage him to resign.

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    7. Cushing also said of Wright: "First queen I know ever became a prince overnight"

      To Abp McEleney SJ of Kingston who complained he had no auxiliaries: "Oh John quit complaining. I got three and one likes booze, one likes broads, one likes boys. I still have to do all the work."

      And when he sent Spelly's ring back after Boston cops recovered it from a street hustler: "Francis: Discretion! Richard."

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    8. Are there no influential clergy from anywhere who can help encourage the present Rochester incumbent to resign?

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    9. Thanks 5:11.
      Yikes!

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    10. While too young to remember Cardinal Cushing, I have read a great deal about him and heard many stories. I think he would have been my kind of bishop.

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    11. Anonymous 6:28

      Why don't you ask JANET DARCY nicely if maybe she and her grateful classmates can get the incumbent to move back home and celebrate their long time friendship?

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    12. Janets a cunt

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    13. Wow 11:48, the scholastic standards at the NAC are even lower than I thought. You need an apostrophe there: Janet's = Janet is a cunt. I guess that when it comes to you and your GFs, Janet's really spot on, eh? (catch my use of the apostrophe, just to help you with your post-NAC English).

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    14. Janet might very well be a cunt, but there's no doubt she'd know "how to solve a problem like Marianne." Or is it Maria? I can't keep all these players um, straight.

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    15. The only standards at The NAC are to know when to spit or swallow.
      Used to be an institution that turned out educated, formed leaders. Now the only thing it turns out is first class expert cock suckers of the lowest common denominator.

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    16. Hang Sandusky by the NUTS.

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    17. Cocksuckers of the lowest common denominator... What are these guys trying to do? Get a lower public opinion rating than Congress?

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    18. Well, I certainly would address the esteemed Janet Darcy with all due respect and make a humble, yet urgent, plea for any assistance she might offer to relieve the church suffering in Rochester.

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  9. That looks more like the Fudge Flecked Finger of Fulton with his Fancy French Flutter ring.

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  10. In my humble estimation, it seems as though Fulton Sheen propagated a form of ecclesial decorum that focused on the external appearances more than other qualities. He contributed more powerfully then any other single figure to create the "good ol boy," white, All-American image of the ideal Catholic cleric, complete with the perfectly parted hair, well-practiced smile for the cameras, and selective attention to the pietistic elements of the post-Vatican One tradition.

    In the illustrious ARCHdiocese from which Sheen glamorized the mid-century media, there continues to be an un-spoken, pervasive school of thought among younger clerics attempting to recapture the bravado and debonair mystique of Fulton Sheen, John Paul II, and now the homespun Cardinal himself (May He Eat Forever).

    It's time to get with it. It's the scrappy 21st century, not the saccharine 1950's. :-/

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  11. It never ceases to amaze me how much gays have contributed to popery, but how wretchedly they are treated by the same.

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  12. Zzzzz is posting about Pope Francis' poll numbers dropping. You can almost feel the glee in the tone of his post.

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    Replies
    1. Miss Zuhlsdorf is a pussy. No balls whatsoever... Why are you afraid of debate, little Missy?

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    2. His Crassness will and does resort to any tactic to distract his easily led cash cows from Pope Francis' constant rebuke of self-interested clerics like Zuhlsdorf.
      Every thing Francis finds disdainful about sine-cure, self-indulgent, materialistic, hypocrites in the priesthood lights a bon fire under Lacy Boys frills.
      He hates Francis almost beyond comprehension.
      For Francis to be attacked, ridiculed and held in contempt by anyone, especially by Z's fellow travellers at Acton, Napa and Crisis is just gravy on his overloaded plate.

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