Wednesday, June 24, 2015

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS + ANATHEMA SCHEITFURBRAINZ?

I don't know about you, and it could just have something to do with this nutty blog, but I'm constantly getting bizarre shit information about Catholic Traditionalists in my email. What I have trouble keeping straight organized about all these Krazy Katholics is Where The Hell Are They Now? and What The Hell Are They Doing? Forget the Why The Hell Are They Doing It? I'm pretty sure not even God knows the answer to that one!

Which brings me to one of my favorite people, who by now must have racked up more Frequent Flyer Miles than Truman Cardinal Capote, A.K.A. Cardinal Burke, A.K.A. anti-Pope Pius XIII.
DALLAS: the FAA gave special permission for him to land wearing that mitre which was found to interfere with traffic control signals from as far away as Atlanta and Los Angeles!
His Excellency
The Most Reverend

+ Anathema Scheitfürbrainz

Titular Abbess* of Chlamydia
and
Auxiliary Bishop
of the

Archdiocese of Maria Santissima

Asstanning

Republic of Kamelshitdumpiztan

Episcopal Motto:

He Knows The Faith

FIDEM SCIT


* formerly Titular Bishop until Chlamydia was discovered to be an Abbey of Nuns, not a Diocese

To me, +Anathema is one of the most interesting Bishops-at-Large roving the Church today trying to pretend Vatican II never happened and Pope Francis was never elected.
MOSCOW: As Archdeacon Rasputin, Spiritual Director to Vladimir Putin looks on, while that young dude on the left, one of the living reasons the Prayer for Vocations needs to be revised, teaches the Bishop humility by dressing him up. Tit-binding ribbons and First Communion Shoes are crucial elements in restoring the One True Faith to its pre-Vatican II splendor!
DUBLIN: What happened to the Wearin' o' the Green? I'll bet there was the Collectin' o' the Green! Just like at a Father Z Mass!
What a career!

Anathema has clearly not got anything to do in either of the places where he's been Auxiliary Bishop. Of course I have no idea how this stuff works, but it looks like Rome had him made a bishop and then "parked" him in Kamelshitdumpiztan so he could be the unofficial "roving bishop" doing all the old rite stuff and befriending the SSPX.

Seems to me that +Anathema is the next great gift to the Church by Benedict XVI: after the nutty Fraudinariate and Summorum Pompositum, we now discover a validly consecrated Roman Episcopus Vagrans making the rounds and making a mess.

Some people are surprised he's so friendly with The Bishop Fellay Show, but good old +Anathema was dorm mates and tennis partners with young Georg Gänswein back when they both hung out at Ecône, discerning which way was the fastest track to snagging the coolest titles and wearing the most splendiferous regalia. Guess who won? But I digress . . .

And he's the only Bishop I've ever heard of who was consecrated by a layman! Seriously, what's that all about?
Principal Consecrator:
Angelo Cardinal Sodano
Principal Co-consecrators:
Archbishop Jan Pawel Lenga

Because of that, for some reason, Anathema's not allowed to have his own laptop and he had to get his hair bleached with some special disinfectant. That layman who co-consecrated him apparently had an S.T.D. (no, not the pontifical theology degree, but a Sexually Transmitted Disease). So Reynaldo says. And Reynaldo hears. Yes, Reynaldo knows. Being in Rome around Cardinals. Weird.

SYDNEY: Tie me kangaroo down, sport, make my platypus smile! Here he is Down Under, an expression that has nothing to do with that weird consecration by a layman with the S.T.D. 
I know, I know there really can't be very many Confirmations in Kamelshitdumpiztan, but this guy is everywhere!


And he takes up a lot of room! Imagine the plane fare?

You'd recognize him anywhere. Because he's been everywhere!



Very funny! That's not + Anathema! That's the "Lovely Lady Dressed in Blue" dude! Reynaldo sent that pic and labeled it "Anathema3.jpg" Very funny, Reynnie boy!

And talk about Friends In High Places Who Really Hate The Pope!

Those two will save the Church! You wait and see! Or maybe you want to get out now before they do!

I don't think he likes Pope Francis very much either. You know, the Pope that warned the Successors of the Apostles: Don't commit the scandal of becoming Airport Bishops!? When this guy isn't dressing up like it's 1957, he's in an airport somewhere. Hey just like Father Z! What a coincidence!

But with the ecclesiastical wardrobe he's managed to a-Mass (Usus Antiquior), Reynaldo says some of his regular bar customers refer to this character as Anne-athema. Even very Traditionalist Catholics can be so cruel!

17 comments:

  1. So are we taking bets on who is the first one to formally defect to Econe? My bet is on Anne-athema myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SSPX are extreme traddies for sure. But all six priests from the Society that I have met personall, live very simple lives of poverty. I have heard from two reliable sources, that Bishop Fellay also lives very simply. I cant imagine any traddie bishop leaving their position for such an austere life.

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    2. The Cure of Ars lived and austere life, was personally holy, but he was also stark raving mad and no one should attempt to emulate that side of him.

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  2. Why should he skip off to Econe? He has a sweet deal right where he is at. Unlimited money to fly anywhere he wants, fat fees (excuse me, stipends), hot young men kissing his ass ( or whatever) wherever he digs the point of his miter into. Rough life. Sure beats hanging around that shithole that he calls a diocese.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What if Francis allows some yucky remarried people to receive Communion.. What would he do then.

      Oh and what does it take to get rid of these guys?

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    2. It is happening as we speak. Slowly but surely these dancing, prancing, brocaded Ponces are disappearing up their own fundamental orifices. The bow tie ladies from the New Liturgical Peristalsis are busily photographing the event as it happens!

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    3. "Oh and what does it take to get rid of these guys?" you ask.

      Probably two more pontificates similar to Pope Francis.

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  3. What fucking (literally) phonies all these people are. Everyone in the Church who's not mentally ill and in need of false security in an insecure world knows it. So does Francis. And he's called the bastards on it. That's why they hate him. And we love him.

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  4. I find Francis to be just as bad as the airport Bisshes! Destroy all air conditioners in the Vatican. But then take a Jet to get to the US. Shouldn't he use a boat to be echo friendly?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What are you smoking? How is a boat more eco friendly? Or are you referring to a sail boat?
      He was being critical of airport bishops flying all over AWAY from their dioceses. Not for environmental issues.

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  5. I almost pissed myself laughing so hard at this post! My coworkers at the chancery are wondering why I am laughing so much in my office...even the bishop wants to know what I am laughing at.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As the new directives to the nunciatures says, at the end of the day, always clear your browser history.

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    2. What did you tell your bishop, 1:28?

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  6. you know, I don't have my "Costume of Prelates" (published 1925) at hand but i distinctly remember that the cappa magna is a sign of jurisdiction and thus while a Cardinal may wear it anywhere in the world (except Rome due to that radical egalitarian Paul VI who abolished its use at Rome), a metropolitan may wear it only in his province, a bishop only in his diocese (and not in the presence of the metropolitan), and an abbot (or archabbot) to whom it had been granted by special indult, only in his abbey--and not in the presence of the local ordinary), An auxiliary bishop, not having jurisdiction has no right to wear it. I am a bit alarmed that I know these things but I was raised before Vatican II and am a deeply closeted lover of all things arcane. I also am driven by a deeply rooted jealousy of Cardinal Burke as my mother would never let me play dress up with her evening wear--and i look so good in red.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never even thought of the jurisdiction issue.
      Also, the use of the galero was suppressed in 1969 in the same motu proprio Ut sive sollicite. For some exciting reading, folks, check it out.

      http://www2.fiu.edu/~mirandas/instruction69.htm

      I am always amazed that those who insist on others following all the rules to the letter are not so attentive themselves when it relates to fancy clerical attire.

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  7. Replies
    1. Why thank you Joseph.
      Welcome. Always delightful to have a father Zed Zombie visit.

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