Wednesday, April 15, 2015

SWISS GUARD ARMOR UPDATE!

You will remember that we had a project to obtain armor for an officer of the Swiss Guard. HERE.

I was sent some photos, so you can see the progress made.

The shop is not done in some modernist kitsch style, but is fully traditional:
Yet they do try to involve women in a suitable role (although the Daughters of Charity did look much better in those starched white cornettes):
And of course the HitlerJugenTutum, having recovered from serving all those Triduum services at all those new Oratory communities that only have two members each, took time out from practicing their thurible moves for the Corpus Christi TLM to do some serious work:
With helpful mentoring (or is that little guy one of our Sals?):
So, the armor is underway and nearing completion.

The results are more than we hoped for! Note the traditional "sacred aesthetic" has triumphed over any kind of compromise with modern ugly functionalism:
The Swiss Guards were finally happy to try out the prototype models:
Who am I to judge? And why bother when this is also in the same barracks:
And remember what the Pope said about "gender theory" at this morning's audience? The new class of Swiss Guard cadets are impressive:
And we're anticipating Pope Francis' encyclical on ecology and trying to pre-empt any fancy moves by ISIS by enlisting the most unlikely parts of nature in the cause:
On the other hand, sometimes you just wanna say to hell with the damn armor. If God meant for us to wear that shit, He would have made us all like armadillos, you know what I mean? And He certainly didn't mean for this Swiss Guard cadet to wear it (there must be something in the air up in those Alps):
This song kind of conjures images of steel mills and sweat shops, not to mention an inner city parish I got sent to once for removing the statue of Our Lady and putting Cardinal Wright's portrait in a niche that said "Regina Cleri, Ora Pro Nobis." It also always reminds me of Novitiate . . . in a weird twist, the old Novice Master is eligible for parole in 17 years I think. Hey, he tried to explain that he was using the monastery Internet to do research for a paper he had to submit for certification at some Pastoral Institute for Self-Stimulation or Self-Identification or Self-Deterioration or whatever at that nutty Institute in the midwest (is it Crapton University or something like that?) where they send you if you don't kiss enough seminary faculty ass (a sign that you probably won't be kissing enough Chancery Office ass either) . . . but that's another story for another post . . . 

Director of the IPF: Institute for Pastoral Fuck-ups and the Self-Destruction of Overly-Rigid Seminarians:
Sister-Facilitator For Getting In Touch With Feelings That If You Get In Touch With Them Off Campus Will Land You In The Slammer, and Director of Internet Research:



7 comments:

  1. Can't you just feel the ripples of passion when Lacy-boy talks about this?
    He can't wait to run his stubby little fingers over that breastplate when he fits it on that hunky guard. Oooooo....sugar!

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  2. Strange that Zed has not made any mention of the full-page ad that prominent San Francisco Catholics paid for, calling for Cordileone to be removed...

    Also strange that Zed has no commentary on the LCWR investigation being shut down...

    OH WAIT NO ITS NOT STRANGE AT ALL LOL

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    Replies
    1. Amen. And thank you for bring that ad to wider attention. I didn't know about it until now. Cordileone is certainly one of the more disgusting of the American prelates.

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    2. Even if Cordelia gets deservedly shitcanned from SF what happens to him? Burke is still out there stirring up y'all know what...

      Can't he be traded to the Anglicans or optioned to the Lutherans?

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  3. Readerette here.

    Well great, the Vatican is safe from terrorists attack by bardiche or poleaxe. Meanwhile there's this: http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/our-work/countries

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  4. What a well-deserved swipe at Creighton University's insane IFP or IPF or FUAll program! The survivors' stories from that place are better than any skits on SNL. All promoted by batshit crazy bishop grads from NAC.

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    Replies
    1. Here here! 10k for a diocese to send a sem there!

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