Thursday, April 30, 2015
SIGN IT AND SING!
SIGN: PAPRIKA MEETS POPPYCOCK
I want to bump this to the top so that more priests will see it after a busy weekend of counting collections, choosing just the right cigar, and matching it to the proper beverage (Fr Z's favorite is Johnny Walker Blue, in honor of our Blessed Mother, "exceptionally smooth with traces of smoke, florals and sweet spice." Like my first pastor! But I digress!).
Fathers, please take a break between nocturns when you're sprinting through tomorrow's Matins this afternoon and sign this petition asking the Synod Fathers not to let the Holy Spirit get anywhere near Saint Peter's (that visit on March 13, 2013 was the first stop in many many years and look at the havoc!). Remember the CREDO motto:
I see Bishop Paprika has taken time out from exorcising gays, (well, the ones who aren't in Holy Orders) to join the other tall hats who have had the buskins to sign up with Father Poppycock's Krock of Krazy Klerics. (Our ontologically inferior commenter friends have asked that this list be revised to specify what parishes these priests have been inflicted upon, by good shepherds plugging holes with a-holes, to make it easier to avoid them on weekends.)
LAY PEOPLE, PLEASE LET YOUR PRIESTS KNOW ABOUT THIS INITIATIVE AND DEMAND THAT THE BASTARDS SIGN IT! TELL THEM YOU'LL BE WATCHING THE LIST AND IF THEY THINK YOU DON'T GIVE SHIT TO THE COLLECTION AND BISHOP'S ANNUAL APPEAL NOW, JUST WAIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS IF THEY DON'T SIGN THE DAMN LIST!
That should do it.
Fathers: Your middle name does NOT have to be Mary or Marie in order for your signature to be accepted! Though this will help, of course!
Father D tried to sign and was told the Suburbicarian Diocese of In Flagrante Delicto does not exist, and that he does not exist. I am "free to yuck it up" all I want, but not on this petition which is "not a joke" because our "Catholic identity and faith is at stake." Bada bing! (as they say in the MeTouchin Diocese)
Imagine that! My diocese is suppressed and they didn't even tell me! No wonder my monthly check has stopped.
Ontologically Inferior (Doubly!) Women Commenting On This Blog: Unlike when commenting on HIS blog, you do NOT have to be wearing your Chapel Veil when commenting on MY blog. Just no pants please! (Hey! Don't be a smart ass: I mean wear a dress or some other tent-like garment)
SING: DAME BENEDICTA CHANTS YOUR FAVORITES
What a moving portrait of her! And it's so nice to see a nun in the full habit! Anyways, as I was saying, the odd hormonal imbalance that made Dame Benedicta, in the world Elsa von Bärtigescheidegesicht (Remember the Abbess called her that in The Sound of Music? Shameful!) the butt of such cruel sport in the schoolyard has proven no obstacle to her monastic signing career. We always called her Elsa von BS for short.
After you sign the petition, listen to this CD.
Father D's favorite track by far so far . . . brings back so many memories! (Not true that it was written by some West Hollywood flamer who tricked Macho Man Frank Sinatra into thinking it was a hetero-ballad. But I digress.) Take it away, Dame Benedicta! (She sounds so much like the little old bearded woman who used to sing all the 15 minute morning Requiems according to the Timeless Rite of All the Ages back when I was a kid.)