Friday, April 10, 2015


"With this ring I thee wed. With my body I thee worship. And with all my worldly goods I thee endow."
Anglican Patrimony Matrimony sounds so much nicer that the bland Roman stuff.
This is making the rounds via the clergy email circuit. You've probably heard about it already. Life is really better off unplugged I think. The more I know, the more I think ignorance really is bliss. 

You know, I could not care less about civil marriage or civil partnerships.  I am happy for people making relationships work regardless of gender and orientation.  As long as the state respects the Church's right to marry those who meet their requirements, the Church should not care who the State recognizes.  Civil Marriage and the Sacrament of Matrimony are two different issues.  Some countries require separate services; civil and religious.  I don't object to that. (As long as I get my stipend . . . and I do NOT digress!)

Southwest UK Ordinariate Clergy with Monsignor Keith "Newt" Newton
(six reasons the Archbishop of Canterbury seems so happy these days)

What I do object to is a religious body that actively condemns such unions and certain members of its clergy join actively in that condemnation and behave in a contrary manner.  

Here's something to chew on...

Gay... Interracial... Interfaith... Perfect Trifecta Erecta! 

Partnership Certificate of Ordinariate Priest Father Minchew and Muslim Partner
Father Hunwicke constantly proclaims the benefits of the Anglican Patrimony and their positive effect on the Roman Catholic Church.  Well, Father Hunwicke, what about this?

THE TABLET 10 April 2015 10:49 by Joanna Moorhead The Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham has reinstated a priest who had been suspended for entering into a civil partnership immigrant to help him stay in the UK.
Okay. On the surface this is admirable in my mind. I'm even tempted to say "Bravo Father Minchew! Way to take a bite out of injustice!"  

But wait.  There's more.  Ain't that always the case?

Anglican Ordinariate Presbyter Father Minchew holds the Anglican Use Book of Divine Worship close to his heart.

The priest claimed his father, the late Harry Minchew, who was in the Royal Marines, met Muhmmad Sadiq, now a retired Pakistani government official, when he was posted to India in 1940. But when The Mail on Sunday spoke to Mr Sadiq in Islamabad, he said he had never met Mr Minchew nor served in the army...

Mr Hussain corroborated Father Minchew’s version of events when we spoke to him outside Croydon furniture store Beds4U, of which he is a director. He said: ‘He helped me. That’s it. There is nothing more.’
However he later backtracked, suggesting there had been a gay relationship between him and the cleric, though he produced no evidence for this. 
Father Minchew admitted he had not told the Catholic Church that he was in a civil partnership, adding: ‘That is an omission on my part and I will have to pay the price for it.’He added, however, that he was not ashamed of what he had done, saying it had ‘no bearing on my ministry’.

OH SNAP! (no, not those miserable members of Victim Nation who destroyed their own records to avoid a big "problem" I mean the expression, ya know?!)

("Our fathers knew one another during the War." Yeah, that's the ticket. Father and Mr Hussain look about the same age. Not even Reynaldo ever tried that line.)

Father Minchew had been removed from active ministry pending further investigation, but has been recently restored by Monsignor Newton, after having the Civil Partnership dissolved.

"Not-A-Real-Bishop-Just-All-Dressed-Up-Like One" Newton
A statement from Monsignor Keith Newton, who oversees Anglican vicars who convert to Catholicism, is to be read at Father Minchew’s Croydon church today. It says: ‘Father Minchew has informed me that this partnership involved no sexual relationship. He deeply regrets his action. He apologises unreservedly for any harm or embarrassment he has caused.’  The Daily Mail reports.

Then to "further investigation", Whatever-He-Is Newton added "much prayer and discussion." And the pondering of probably several threatened law suits. And imagining what would happen to any estate Father Minchew might be leaving behind once he vacates what The Guardian called his "very comfortable home" (chock full of antiques, I'd guess) for "that dwelling imperishable that hath been preparéd for us yea even in the heavens" (it does sound better in the Patrimony version!). And figuring, in the great big can of mixed nuts which is the Anglican Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingsnark, what's one more pink pistachio . . . if you get my drift.
Looks perfectly normal to me.
And say, he's clasping to his heart The English MissalReverend Mother Cunniwicke would surely approve of that!
And the biretta at that Oh-So-Jaunty Angle! (Notice the mirror! Ahem!)
Let's get this straight (a term common among Ordinariate Catholics?) 

IF Father Minchew domestically partnered with Mr. Hussain for fraudulent immigration purposes, the Anglican Church would not object to that because there was no sexual contact? 

BUT even if there was no sexual aspect to the relationship (as the Ordinariate is proclaiming) and Father Minchew entered the Partnership to help a convert to Christianity avoid attacks and possible death (I can tell you the cruelty my own friends born and raised of Christian parents in Pakistan have suffered) the Ordinariate objects? Well, they did at first (cf above).

Thank you, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, not only for the perfectly normal wonderful people you gave us through Summorum Pompositum but for this trail-blazing interfaith interracial gay partnership gang that comes from your equally prophetic Anglicanorum Coitusinterruptibus! As Keith Newton's equally valid kid brother Wayne Newton would say, Danke Schön! (Damn Germans with that fly shit all over the alphabet!).

The secrets all come out in the wash they say.

Keep Father Minchew and Mr Hussain in your prayers, what ever the circumstances are.


  1. When I first read this (real) story I thought it had to be one of your parodies. Truly you could not make this stuff up. This story has a little bit of EVERYTHING NUTS in it. Amazing! The C of E must be laughing their asses off that this fuckwit is now all ours (RC). Actually Newton sounds dumb enough to be one of our bishops.

    1. Well, you can take it from Janet (and soooo many have) and my boyfriend, that whatever he is Newton's HUGE problem.....can ALL be summed up here:;_ylt=A0LEVjw4BilVSbsAwL4nnIlQ;_ylu=X3oDMTBsa3ZzMnBvBHNlYwNzYwRjb2xvA2JmMQR2dGlkAw--?p=doe+a+deer&tnr=21&vid=D3594B8B7A43BC1D5F5DD3594B8B7A43BC1D5F5D&l=266&

      Obviously this "sho sho" has it and Newton needs and wants closed AND my boyfriend is nodding along.

  2. Bringing in the 'broad church' tradition!

  3. This reminds me of Bill Clinton's statement: " I did not have sex with that woman."

    Sorry to belabor the obvious!

  4. I'm amazed there's been no mention, so far, of the Ordinariate priests who, as Anglicans, were already cohabiting as boyfriends, and then got ordained as Catholics together in the same ceremony, before heading back to their bed together that night . . .

  5. No mention, either, of the Ordinariate priest not too far from London Bridge, with the live in lay boyfriend (who remained an Anglican . . . mixed marriages rarely work . . .

  6. And pretend-bishop Newton (Wayne's brother, what a crack-up!) knew all about everything all along. It's a house of cards, just waiting for a gust of wind.

  7. Cuntywicke is babbling on against the Holy Year of Mercy "as I shuffle off to collect another Mass stipend" or words to that effect. No wonder then-Cardinal Bergoglio told the Anglican Bishop of Argentina that "Anglican Ordinariates are completely unnecessary." Imagine how much more strongly he must feel about them now! Why don't the Catholic Bishops of the UK tell the idiot Ordinary to shape the thing up or ship out? "A big can of mixed nuts" what a great and very accurate line!

  8. Restored to ministry after the civil partnership was dissolved?
    So gay marriage isn't allowed in the Ordinariate, but gay divorce is?

    What a queer thing!

    1. Well that's a very Henry VIII kind of Anglican Patrimony!