Thursday, February 26, 2015

TIN-FOIL HAT & BLACK HELICOPTERS OVERHEAD ALERT: FIVE CARDINALS' BOOK™ STOLEN FROM PARTICIPANTS' MAILBOXES AT LAST YEAR'S SYNOD ON FAMILY™!

The Latest Bergoglian Pontificate Konspiracy Kaper
from those
Krazy Katholic Konverts!

I have wanted to write about this for soooooo™ long now, but I’ve been eating soooooooooo™ much on your dime and flying around to soooooooooo™ many places on your dime and spending soooooooooo™ much time buying vestments and kissing sooooooooooo™ many asses . . . .
I finally broke this, in broken English HERE
Remember the Five Cardinals Book™? I tried selling the damn thing to anyone and everyone through my Keep-Father-Z-in-Laity-Funded-Trips-and-Laity-Paid-for-Freebies™ scam. One of the biggest bombs ever detonated by Frantic Father Fessio's Pugnatius Press™ - and think of the territory that covers!
In bookstores one day. At flea markets the next!
Remaining in the Tabernacle: Keeping Jesus Safely Locked Away From Divorced and Other Deviant Catholics helped to turn the tide – you do know what low tide smells like, right? – during last October’s Synod of Bishops.
It was simultaneously released in English, Italian, French, German and Spanish.  It is going to be issued in: Polish, Portuguese, Hungarian, Croatian, Slovak, and Czech, Tagalog, Lakota, Chinese (Mandarin and Beijinese),Ugaritic, Armenian, Bengali, Hindi, Belarusian, Macedonian, Serbian, Persian, Tamil, Bulgarian, Gujarati, Telugu, Middle Olde English (as found in Fraudinariate Liturgies), Esperanto, Farsi, Ge'ez, and Old Church Slavonic. All proceeds go to the Keep-Father-Z-in-Laity-Funded-Trips-and-Laity-Paid-for-Freebies™ scam.
We are designing a whole additional line of Father Z Fag-Swag™ mugs, tee-shirts, rings (fingers, toes, and other places) for Dumb Clerical Careerists and Their Even Dumber Laity Providers™. It contains essays of five cardinals, of the archbishop secretary of the Vatican congregation for the Oriental Churches, and of three scholars directed at the notions suggested by Walter Card. Kasper in the opening discourse of the consistory in February 2014 not to mention Jesus Christ in the Gospels. You know, all that crap about mercy, compassion, forgiveness, reconciliation, seeking out the lost, welcoming home, reintegration into the Church. It blew the Kasper and Jesus proposals and arguments out of the water.
You will also remember that the Synod Members Who Hate Pope Francis and Can’t Believe Burke Didn’t Get Cardinal Scola Elected™ members were up in arms because of the manipulations and machinations of the staff of the Synod office, a.k.a. the Curial insiders who always got their way before while poor old Benny was writing books and the butler was working for them?  Remember all the controversies about how the mid-term report was produced?  About certain strange paragraphs that didn’t reflect the agenda of the Synod Members Who Hate Pope Francis and Can’t Believe Burke Didn’t Get Cardinal Scola Elected™ but sounded a lot more like Jesus Christ than Cardinal Müller?
There’s more. (God I used to love the way Reynaldo would say that after the fifth margarita!)
Here is something of the story that you don’t know, because at the time it couldn’t be told.
The people who crafted the Five Cardinals Book™ wanted to make sure that we they made a shitload of money and that Synod members had copies, at least in English or Italian, as the Synod was starting up. Therefore, they sent copies to every member of the Synod (quite a few) through the Italian post to each member’s personal mailbox near the Synod Hall which was set up individually by the Vatican Post. A similar scam they pulled off in 2005 worked when they got a dossier full of lies about Cardinal Bergoglio’s supposed complicity with the military during Argentina’s “dirty war” and Benny popped out on the balcony to Reform the Reform. What happened this time?
The International Sleep Foundation™ tried this book out on a variety of audiences.
First, they ran it by the Vatican's Imprimatur Commission™: 

Next, at a local Convent known for keeping strenuous all-night Vigils with no problem at all:



Then, up to New Nausea where Father Ca$h-in Follofhimselfis busy brewing beer for his favorite Pope and broadcasting the monastic life hidden with God in Christ all over the worldwide web (picture taken before the afternoon beer tasting testing):



Then, they tried it out on selected Catholic laity:

Next, they had some military people give it a shot:


Some traveling Catholic businessmen (happily married, we might add, not adulterous sluts like the type Kasper and Francis want to give Jesus back to):

Finally, they thought: "Since we all had to read his shit stuff, he can damn well read ours!

Ooooops!
So, while the admirable Father Z’s Tin-foil Hat Black Helicopter Brigade thinks: that’s how frightening the Book is to those who want to overturn the Church’s punitive practice and replace it with the Gospel . . . . the real truth is, the Five Cardinals Book™ is, well, Frank-ly (see what I did there?) a pretty boring piece of shit! 
Italian Vaticanisti and I-Hate-Pope-Francis-Just-As-Much-As All-The-Other-Nut-Jobs-In-The-Right-Wing-Krazy-Katholic-Blogsphere-Do™, Manfred "Da Mann" Ferrari, indicates that the heist was ordered by Card. Baldisseri, who is the head of the office of the Synod of Bishops.
"This episode took place in the Vatican and not in the Kremlin. As I told it to a friend who, in those days, traveled back to Africa, he smiled at me mildly and said, “Manfred, what’s bothering you. Here in South Sudan things aren’t any better …" God, I just love those erudite traddies, don't you? So witty . . . eh, eh, eh
At the end of the piece, Ferrari adds: Maybe I was just Blinded By The Light
[CUE DIABOLICAL SURPRISE MUSIC HERE]


Wrapped up like a... Well like a Reverend Mother Cunniwicke.
If you're looking for a real Lenten penance,
hear her discuss the Fraudinariatehere!


Hey, why not order a real book worth reading - and piss off the idiots at the same time? Well, pre-order actually:


22 comments:

  1. Faddah,

    I hope that I'm not reading this quite right... First, I did buy the book and it is a piece of shit, no question there. If anyone was denied a copy of this, they have been blessed.

    How may I say that it is not shocking but very saddeningly disappointing that dirty political tricks may have derailed the "candidacy" of our now most beloved Pope Francis.

    I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt to Pope Benedict XVI because he was gracious enough to abdicate and open the door to this wonderful era of reform.

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  2. That was orchestrated by the Kirchners and Bergoglio's enemies in the Vatican (Sodano and the former Argentine ambassador.). President Crazy Lady forgot to get an updated dossier out because Bergoglio was seen as too old in 2013 to win.

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  3. Era of reform??? More like an era of heresy! Era where the Church turns a blind eye to sin under the guise of mercy....smfh Econe is looking better and better ...

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    Replies
    1. ^^^^^^^^^ Heresy? Heresy against what? Pope Francis is taking you out from corruption. God has indeed blessed my life by allowing me to see a man of Pope Francis' caliber, a man truly the vicar of Christ go to work to cleanse the temple.

      Delete
    2. Re: Econe and heresy vs reform, you may find several posts at this website under the titles "A Bridge Too Far" helpful and/or informative:
      http://churchhistorysurprise.blogspot.com/2015/02/pope-francis-two-churches-bridge-too.html?m=1

      Delete
    3. ^^^^^^^^ An excellent article making a point that I hadn't heretofore considered; that these "Traditionalists" desire(d) to absorb the larger church and regain their lost preeminence. Minimally, Pope Francis has fouled their designs.

      Delete
    4. I have the utmost respect for Consolamini and read his Church History blog regularly. I'm always hesitant to mention or link to his posts as I don't want the silliness that usually reigns here to "taint" his fine work.
      If you have not read What Sister Never Knew and Father Never Told You, go take a gander. It's much more informative and edifying than what you find here.

      Delete
    5. I remember in the past where there was a reference to another article on that board "A Tale of Two Bishops and Two Popes" which was also a very informative piece.

      Father D, if you'd allow me to pass encouragement and perhaps even "advice"; don't sell yourself short. Your satire and humor is second to none. You rightfully lampoon the church and its corrupt elements while remaining certainly true to the Gospels and to Christ's own commission to go and TEACH.

      Delete
  4. Another bleat from the Drama Queeen:

    Barbarians

    Posted on 26 February 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf


    This is what the barbarians are doing in Mosul.

    Good question Lacy Boy but what kind of a wrecking job are you doing in Madison to say nothing of other place in the USA?

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  5. I've just had a look at Lacy Boy's Amazon Wishlist - current total cost: $32,231.22!

    I can see why the fat sponger needs a treadmill; the most expensive model, of course ($1,499.99). But WTF would a priest need a set of USB cufflinks for ($59.99), let alone a night-vision gun sight ($546.27). I can't believe he gets away with this shit.

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    Replies
    1. Let's all forward the Wish Lists to the Nuncio with a cc to Bishop MorNOTSOlino of Madison and ask WTF?!

      Delete
    2. The nuncio probably doesn't give a shit.

      Bishop Fatloado is sponsoring and harboring this tosser....

      There are two possible places to go:

      If ASSHOLE's "enterprise" is a "charity" and he is domiciled in Wisconsin he should be registered here:
      http://www.wdfi.org/charitableorganizations/


      We need to keep in mind that Miss LacyBoy is allegedly a diocesan priest and thus would NOT be covered by tax code exemptions for members of a religious order which becomes pertinent here:

      ASSHOLE is either illegally soliciting as an unregistered charity in his state of residence OR, ASSHOLE is running a BUSINESS internet scam soliciting funds from faithful adherents to a religion.

      By the way, if I used a real name to refer to the un-named slobborific asshole I could be in trouble, so I will change the name to protect the guilty scumbag.

      Delete
    3. He's mostly merely a parasite who asks people for personal gifts. The stickers and mugs and coffee sales are a business activity, thought. I am sure the IRS cares but doubt there's really a need for business licensing.

      Delete
    4. Anyone check out this unbelievable thread on Eponymous Flower?

      http://eponymousflower.blogspot.com/2015/02/expresses-photos-anomaly-since-february.html#comment-form

      Some of them are arguing it's okay for Catholics to wish for the immediate death of Pope Francis. Fortunately, one trad over there is standing up to that sick stuff and saying trads must pray for the Pope's protection. Can anyone believe they want Pope Francis to die immediately? Sick, sick, sick.

      Delete
    5. "David BrainerdFebruary 26, 2015 at 7:28 PM
      @Gabriel, Benedict was forced out by Francis and the other aberrosexual players in the Vatican. But being a Bergoglian Jew from Argentina at Francis' old Synagogue, I'm sure you already know that."

      I really really try to be charitable. I know I'm a cranky bastard most of the time. I try. But stuff like this ^^^^ makes me scream inside my tiny little brain...W.T.F. !!!!
      I cant believe they really believe these things. " Bergoglian Jew from....Francis' old Synagogue."
      I
      N
      S
      A
      N
      E

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    6. The Glock packing Lard Guts must be hankering for the Farm where he could shoot as many trees and unsuspecting wildlife as he desired. His disordered capacity for rationalisation knows no bounds.

      "Be ready for when “Garibaldi’s” troops show up and keep repeating what the saint said:


      “I want to break my own will into pieces, I want to do God’s Holy will, not my own. May the most adorable, most lovable, most perfect will of God always be done.”

      St. Gabriel

      Delete
    7. Bergoglian Jew? Francis' synagogue? Holy SHIT, what are these folks smoking, snorting, injecting or shoving up their arses?

      Delete
  6. Rorate is portraying Pell as the new Thomas More and Cardinal Fisher: "I Will Not Bend to the Marriage". No mention that he charged 2,508 Euro in clergy clothing from Gamarelli.

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  7. No surprise but PUGNATIUS PRESS (that was a good one!) has decided to cash in on the mystery, sending out emails this AM: SEE THE BOOK "SOMEBODY" DOESN'T WANT YOU TO READ!

    I suppose they're losing all kinds of cash with their former star author off the job. From the reduced prices it looks like they can't give poor Papa Ratzi's books away!


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  8. The title of this thread is evocative of something Roy Orbison could have done. Instead of a black and white night, he could have had a red and gold night.

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  9. I remember the obnoxious Mr Zed, who after pleading for money from his gullible American readership, then regaled them with pictures of himself quaffing very expensive wine at an upmarket Rome restaurant. The response from his readers: something like "Gee, thank you sooo much, Father, for sharing pictures of your vacation in Rome, Italy." Give me strength!

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  10. Old Zeeeee is the quintessential arsehole, or should it be zeeeeeeeeeeeedhole?

    ReplyDelete