Saturday, February 21, 2015

SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER: PONTIFICAL NORTH AMERICAN DANCE ACADEMY EDITION

You know, I'm not much of a dancer. My Hully Gully's more like Hilly Silly, and my Electric Slide always looks like the Short Circuited Slump.

The two Sisters at my elementary school who were in charge of talent shows and such, Sister Rosa-Sine-Spina and Sister Double-Major (they were in the same Novitiate class the year that a Novice Mistress who obviously had "issues" picked out the names) told me not to sing and not to even think about trying to join in the ethnic dances (I'll let the particular ethnic group stay anonymous, but these nuns were from the South Side of Chicago, like Saul Alinksy, if that gives you a clue).


So I guess I've always been jealous of people who really can dance. That's one of the reasons I had some fun on here a while back with the Tap Dancing Seminarians of the Pontifical North American Dance Academy:



But someone sent me this new Dancing Queen Priest video the other day, with a note "Watch this for Lent. It will give you something to pray about." Within days half a dozen other people sent me the same video, including someone in Europe! We're talking viral here, baby!

I watched it. Every painful minute.

Wow.

The only other place I've ever seen similar "showmanship" (other words come to mind) was in that funny little town at the tip of Cape Cod where people seem to have a very bizarre devotion to the Patriarch Noah, judging from all the rainbow flags.

And where lots of the women turn out to be men, and lots of men . . . well . . . 

Reynaldo and his buddies dance just like that and they always hit that funny little town in the summer. I tagged along once, alright maybe twice. Good thing I brought my sunglasses. Saw enough seminary classmates there to have a reunion. And an auxiliary bishop from far away from there seemed to have a lot of free time on his hands that summer.

But then again, "Who am I to judge?"

I've posted the lyrics below the video in case, like me, your Gregorian chant and Latin attuned ears just can't pick up all the nuances.

Like the note on the video says, "Enjoy." 


This hit, that ice cold
Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold
This one for them hood girls
Them good girls straight masterpieces
Stylin', whilen, livin' it up in the city
Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent
Got kiss myself, I'm so pretty


I'm too hot (hot damn)
Called a police and a fireman
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Make a dragon wanna retire man
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Say my name you know who I am
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Am I bad 'bout that money, break it down


Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
Saturday night and we in the spot
Don't believe me just watch (come on)


Don't believe me just watch uh

Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Hey, hey, hey, oh


Stop, wait a minute
Fill my cup, put some liquor in it
Take a sip, sign a check
Julio, get the stretch
Ride to Harlem, Hollywood
Jackson, Mississippi
If we show up, we gon' show out
Smoother than a fresh dry skippy


I'm too hot (hot damn)
Called a police and a fireman
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Make a dragon wanna retire man
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Bitch say my name you know who I am
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Am I bad 'bout that money
Break it down


Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
Saturday night and we in the spot
Don't believe me just watch (come on)


Don't believe me just watch uh

Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch 
Don't believe me just watch
Hey, hey, hey, oh


Before we leave
Lemmi tell y'all a lil' something
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up uh
I said uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up


Come on, dance, jump on it
If you sexy then flaunt it
If you freaky then own it
Don't brag about it, come show me


Come on, dance
Jump on it
If you sexy then flaunt it
Well it's Saturday night and we in the spot
Don't believe me just watch come on!


Don't believe me just watch uh

Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Hey, hey, hey, oh


Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (say what?)
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (say what?)
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (say what?)
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (say what?)
Uptown funk you up


Enjoy, that is, unless you're worried about this Travolta-wannabe becoming your Bishop some day.

Because Father Bojangles (has he ever danced with that many clothes on before?) has all the creds marking him as a real "up and comer" (probably not an appropriate expression in this context).

For one thing, he's a fine example of



And fo' shizzle gonna slow jam his homilies fo' sho' any day bro! (Is that "jive" cool enough?)

Biggest cred: he's a former resident at everyone's favorite Dance Academy and Bishop Factory, the NAC: turning out bat shit crazy bishops (maybe yours is one!), sycophantic chancery fanny-swabbers, and champion corn-holers (is that redundant?) for decades!  

To conclude this Lenten meditation this video seems so right in  so many ways.



22 comments:

  1. D might I make a suggestion....give up being an asshole for Lent

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh oh I see you like what you see! Well, remember, if that reaction you're having to Fr Bojangles lasts more than four hours, stop watching and call a doctor! Or at least a monsignor who went to NAC!

      Delete
    2. Besides, if I stopped being an asshole, people would think I am terminally ill.

      Delete
    3. D iam not taking Viagra..so no 4 hour hard on ...leave that to Altar boi...but seriously ...being an asshole isnt becoming of a priest of the Almighty ...just saying

      Delete
    4. Some on say 4 hour hard on??????? Yes please Fr.D

      Delete
    5. How is D being an asshole? This dancing queen priest is an embarrassment to his diocese and his bishop. And the dancing isn't the end of it.

      Delete
    6. Here's a prissy little Lacy Tutu well and truly on the pout, the sulk and the shit-on-the-liver over Pope Francis' remarks on the dangers of odd seminarians being ordained and turning out even odder priests serious defects. Zippo is feeling the heat on this one:

      The Astronomer says:

      20 February 2015 at 10:31 am


      "Good to know, especially in light of His Holiness alleged recent comments, via Zenit, about seminarians and priests that prefer the 1962EF:
      “…the Pope noted that there are priests and bishops who speak of a “reform of the reform.” Some of them are “saints” and speak “in good faith.” But this “is mistaken”, the Holy Father said. He then referred to the case of some bishops who accepted “traditionalist” seminarians who were kicked out of other dioceses, without finding out information on them, because “they presented themselves very well, very devout.” They were then ordained, but these were later revealed to have “psychological and moral problems.”

      Zuhlsdorf's furious response:

      [The accounts of the Holy Father’s actual words are pretty sketchy. When I see stories that report only a word or two in quotes with some reporter’s filler, alarm bells ring. I can’t find any verbatim account or video of the Pope speaking. That said, what the reports say he said is, at the same time, both yawn inducing (“Oh… the Pope bashed conservatives again?”) and alarming (“I think, Holiness, you are worried about the wrong group!”), if that’s possible. It seems to me that if you are looking for guys with “psychological and moral problems”, look among the liberal progressivists and homosexuals. I’d be far more worried about a seminarian with a subscription to the Fishwrap than one who gets The Remnant and The Wanderer."

      Lacy boy would say that, wouldn't he?

      Delete
    7. Speaking of, here's the latest can on scatology from Rorate:

      "=$.extend(defaults,options);return this.each(function(i,e){var $e=$(e);var s='';if(options.ssl)s='s';if(!$e.hasClass('rssFeed'))$e.addClass('rssFeed');if(url==null)return false;var api="http"+s+"://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/services/feed/load?v=1.0&callback=?&q="+encodeURIComponent(url);if(options.limit!=null)api+="&num="+options.limit;if(options.key!=null)api+="&key="+options.key;$.getJSON(api,function(data){if(data.responseStatus==200){_callback(e,data.responseData.feed,options);}else{if(options.showerror) if(options.errormsg!=''){var msg=options.errormsg;}else{var msg=data.responseDetails;};$(e).html('

      '+msg+'
      ');};});});};var _callback=function(e,feeds,options){if(!feeds){return false;} var html='';var row='odd';if(options.header) html+='
      '+''+feeds.title+''+'
      ';html+='................."

      And there's lots more where that came from.........

      Delete
  2. Fr D, please dont ever change...you make me smile...and that is a viture!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Being an asshole is a virtue???

      Delete
    2. You seem to know much about (or are obsessed with??) assholes.

      Delete
    3. The Lacy Boy Brown Nosers do tend to be afflicted with that kind of fetishism, technically known as the 'Fundamental Orifice Fixation' Syndrome.

      It is curable even for the ankle snapping Babu the Rabid. All the oppressed poor wretch needs to do is to use their access to Zippo's combox to post a message to the Self-Inflated one that he, among other things, is the Asshole of the Galaxy.

      I have no doubt this would work a treat.

      Delete
    4. Ya' know Ari, I thought to scam Zooky with a contri from one of my distant business accounts, ingratiate myself and then shave his balls with a rusty razor... Basically post a world of shit deep in his mix.

      I thought better and donated the 200 bucks in cash to a Catholic priest in my community who looks after the homeless.

      I myself belong to a Methodist church with a food bank program that serves 90 families. We only have 900 members.

      Zuhlly, you are a shitheel racketeer. The only reason I don't call you a douchebag or a scumbag is that both of them, unlike you are useful.

      Delete
    5. Now Lacy Boy has another project to distract from his own BS and to extract more commission funds from the long suffering contributors to his rump-fed lifestyle:

      ACTION ITEM: Let’s get a custom breastplate for a Swiss Guard.

      Posted on 22 February 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf


      "From my visit to the Swiss Guard barracks in October 2014.

      I have a project for us all.

      When I was in Rome last October with a pilgrimage group for the Summorum Pontificum Pilgrimage [Remember the 'This one's on me' and how the group didn't feature in any of the Lard's photos, just food, drapery and more food!] (there is another coming up this October – see the ad on the sidebar), we had a private tour of the barracks of the Swiss Guards. The tour that day was conducted by the fiancee of one of the Corporals of the Guard. They are now married, by the way. When we were in the armory, she explained how uncomfortable the breastplates are for the men, because they are not individually crafted. Imagine."

      Yes and just imagine that Lard Ass might even order a complete set for at least squad size for a Swiss Guard by extension, possibly staffed by clapped out Knights of Columbus.

      Imagine how even more attractive would be the regular celebration of the Immemorial 1570 Mass of the Ages at the Commode by the Grand Dirigible himself assisted by Lacy Boy himself and his 'Boys'. Just imagine the snap and salutes and moves of those ironclad Wisconsin Swiss sentinels!

      Delete
  3. I haven't seen choreography that good since the FSSPs came in and taught us the EF Mass in liturgical presence class.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. .......and my boyfriend agrees

      Delete
    2. Janet, how many times do I have to tell you not to talk about me in public! The people in pews would be scandalized!

      Delete
    3. O shut up! Everyone already knows. Even the boss. Why do you think Janet left the Office in the Square? To acquire the smell of sheep?

      Delete
  4. Just when you thought hubris is a Greek milkshake, here's Lard Ass himself with a mega dose of it:

    Is there an agenda at work behind Pope Francis’ back?

    Posted on 23 February 2015 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf


    "Monday Vatican is out.

    First paragraph…


    "Pope Francis: An Agenda Behind his Back?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Neo-cons and traddies who dislike Pope Francis but need to pretend that they don't have decided on the meme of Francis being a moron who is easily manipulated.

      Delete
    2. What Zero cannot bear is that the direction is changing. When he blabbers on about not every word and document coming from a Pope is authoritative (actually correct on that one), he forgets that this logic applies to SP and the stupidity of trying to bring neo-nazi's like the SSPX back.

      But the hardest part for him to grasp is the concept of priesthood being about SERVICE! And that does not include expensive restaurant service. That means him getting off his fat ass and serving actual people not they internet zombies that finance his non-priestly and non-ministerial activities.

      Delete
  5. The only easily manipulated moron in the papacy during my life was the yokel who took over in 1978 after the poisoning of JP1.

    ReplyDelete