Saturday, January 24, 2015


You know I really liked the letter Pope Francis wrote to his new class of Cardinals.

Francis told them to "accept (congratulations) humbly" but be careful "the spirit of worldliness doesn't creep in" and hit you "like grappa on an empty stomach, leaving you disoriented and separating you from the cross of Christ."


I got to thinking, if only Benedict XVI had sent a letter like that to his formerly utterly-null-and-absolutely-void disgruntled ex-Anglican friends (changing grappa to gin of course).

Here's why.

Meet Just-a-Monsignor-but-looks-like-a-Bishop Keith Newton, Ordinary of the Anglican Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham:
Just-a-Monsignor Newton: DAY-ON get-up
Just-a-Monsignor Newton: DAY-OFF outfit

Assisted by Just-a-Monsignor-but-looks-like-a-Bishop Burnham:
Just-a-Monsignor Burnham: DAY-ON get-up
Just-a-Monsignor Burnham: DAY-OFF outfit

Of course we're all old friends with their most famous Just-a-Plain-Old-Pain-in-the-Ass priest Reverend Mother M. John Cunniwicke, who hates "our beloved Holy Father" (to quote his signature passive-aggressive, keep-the-Nuncio-off-Keith's-back term of endearment-contempt for Pope Francis) even more than "the admirable Father Zed" (as he calls his fellow Krazy Kleric).
Looks very much like my 7th grade nun, Sister M.  BARBA-ra, if you get my drift
You know what really sticks in Cunniwicke's Craw is what then-Cardinal Bergoglio said to the Anglican Bishop of Argentina, Right Reverend Greg Venables about the special playground (a.k.a. Anglican Ordinariates) Pope Benedict set up for Cunniwicke & Co. to hang out in and still be Catholics. Venables said, "He (Bergoglio) called me to have breakfast with him one morning and told me very clearly that the Ordinariate was quite unnecessary and that the Church needs us as Anglicans."

I'll bet that even more infuriating was Francis telling Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, "I am grateful, too, for the sincere efforts the Church of England has made to understand the reasons that led my Predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI, to provide a canonical structure able to respond to the wishes of those groups of Anglicans who have asked to be received collectively into the Catholic Church: I am sure this will enable the spiritual, liturgical and pastoral traditions that form the Anglican patrimony to be better known and appreciated in the Catholic world."

Oh we get the picture! Big time! Thanks, Benny!

Then there's this (ouch!)

So now Cunniwicke is sounding the alarm that there might be a Vatican III in the works! Oh no! Horrors!

 "More than half a century after Vatican II,
we are only just beginning to transform
some of Circe's pigs back into men,
and finding it hard, invidious, and contentious work.
Would a Vatican III do anything
to wipe the sweat from our brows?
Or would it simply increase the burden?"

If there's anything sweaty about Cunniwicke & Co. I don't think it's their brows or from hard work. And ask a couple of UK Roman bishops whether taking the admirable Father Zed's buddy in has decreased or increased "the burden". But I digress . . . 

Seriously, folks, is it just me, or if you seriously believed that God inspired a aged Pope who liked fancy vestments and English Church music to bring you and your buddies with your antique vestments and committee-made-up-liturgy into the Catholic Church so that you could help God reverse an Ecumenical Council and impose your museum-like fantasy world on everyone else - would you tell anyone?

Or would you:

1. Say "Danke, Heilege Vater"

2. Keep dressing up and making up your own liturgy as you go along like you did when you were an utterly-null-and-absolutely-void disgruntled High Anglicans

3. And then just

S T F U!!!!

Of course there is another option if you dislike everything about the regular, normal, ordinary Catholic Church as your blog seems to indicate.

And that would be just

G T F O!!!!

Please turn to Hymn Number 4236 in The Anglican Ordinariate Hymnal:

Equally appropriate, Hymn Number 3987 (listen to all the words):


  1. I like Judy Garland's version of Puttin' on the Ritz but the funniest was the Young Frankenstein version.

  2. Remember it was an archbishop of one of of the Continuing churches who got the whole thing moving, but Rome put Him and most of his clerics aside for the Oxbridge time servers with their pensions and pretensions.

    Rome has received what she deserves. There is a God in heaven, as it were.

  3. i forgot to add to my earlier comment that the Continuers were not prizes either.

    If one wants to be Roman then one should be Roman, IMHO. No special deals!

  4. Gregorius Stercorensis of the New Peristalsis trumpets:

    Sunday, January 25, 2015

    Fr Richard McBrien RIP
    Gregory DiPippo

    "I have just seen a report that Fr Richard McBrien has died after a lengthy illness. (Also here, at the website of Notre Dame University, where he formerly taught.) Fr McBrien was a prominent presence in the American Catholic world from the 1970s on, often called upon by the media to comment on Catholic issues. He was also a prominent dissenter from the magisterial teachings of the Church, and promoter of other dissenters, such as Hans Kung and Charles Curran. Pray for the repose of his soul, in Latin."

    1. No doubt DiPippsquekio of The New Liturgical Bowel Movement would want these prayers to be offered through the intercession of Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre, "a prominent dissenter from the magisterial teachings of the Church, and promoter (indeed, illicit and eventually excommunicated consecrator) of other dissenters, such as Bernard Fellay.

    2. Over at The New Liturgical Bowel Movement's snarky little notice that a DISSENTER and PROMOTER OF DISSENTERS has died and whose should be prayed for IN LATIN, someone named DAVID properly asks, "And what does this have to do with the sacred liturgy & promoting liturgical arts."

      Richard, one of the Bowel Movements Temple Police no doubt, responds: "Please just take the item as an expression of sympathy and an invitation to pray for the departed, not as an opportunity for people to complain about the faults of the deceased."

      NEWS FLASH TO RICHARD: David is asking the right question. You, on the other hand, have pointed to the obvious: the item is posted PRECISELY as an opportunity TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE FAULTS OF THE DECEASED.

      DiPippo and his other effete self-righteous snobs, who make The Bowel Movement and assorted right wing nut job blogs so frightening (and at the same time so ripe for ridicule), don't even realize that they've morphed into the modern day Sanhedrin.

      Continue to mock them, Fr. D ad multos annos (a little Latin there for DiPippo and his fellow Pharisees).

    3. And not to be outdone in hubris, one of the Peristaltic Wave's principal ululators on the Immemorial 1570 Mass of the Ages, Peter K..... appears to be on very good terms with the lizard-brains behind the Eponymous Flower who are forever bleating, whining and grizzling about the many sources of their disgruntlement.

    4. Wow, when I first read this post I thought the "pray for him in Latin" was written in parody or jest. I was shockingly disgusted or disgustedly shocked which ever is more grammatically correct to find that this was a REAL post.

      Hey, I don't know how to pray in Latin and I really don't give a care whether I ever do, but, prayerfully I thank our Almighty in HIS good providence for Fr. McBrien's life and work.

      For those of you being squeezed through the sphincter of angry traddie catholicism at the end of its liturgical bowel movement, we will all meet in Hell one day.

  5. Why is it that no blog or other online instrument, when raising the subject of the Ordinariates, ever includes a photo of the two cohabiting ex-Anglican clergymen kneeling together as they were ordained Roman Catholics (all with the full knowledge of their Ordinary).

    1. Perhaps that's another "cutting edge" role of the Ordinariate: promote both women's ordination AND gay marriage!

  6. Probably completely not related to this topic (though my husband is a real live Anglican, and we attended a few ordinariate masses a few years back but I think the only reason the priest became Catholic was because of women's ordination). Whatever, fr.z has an ask father question about someone claiming that they will be terminated from their employment if they don't go to communion at the NO. Is this for real? I assume the employer doesn't believe the guy is Catholic since he refuses to go to communion in a Catholic Church. Of course fr.z is always trying to convince people not to go to communion...imagine that from a priest. I guess for someone people the only way they can feel special is by excluding others.

    1. mut, I have long been convinced that Lacy Boy has a shoe box full of contrive Dorothy Dix 'But Faddah, but Faddahs' which he regularly trots out in order to stoke up the outrage of the weak minded, scruple ridden who not only unquestioningly accept his creations but who pay him for the fraud.
      What drives the success of his business enterprise is the hugely successful
      practise of manipulating the guilt and scruples of his followers.

      A key factor in all this is to keep people in a permanent state of feeling unworthy, anxious and corrupted by sin. The two paragraphs on Augustine that he has source from Wikipedia are both about how rotten human beings are and how holy Father is compared with the rest.

      Distance from the laity is his comfort, identity and source of income particularly when that distance is emphasised by the antiquarian baroque liturgical drapery, the altar rails, the poncy moves, the indelible ontological status and attendant entitlements.

      One should never forget too that Zuhlsdorf's personal sense of sexual inversion and resulting confusion is fed by misogyny in general and especially intense resentment of and contempt for educated religious women who have actually lived and worked for the reign of God with the utmost commitment. They shame him and he detests them for it.

    2. Dang 6:03... Elegant description of Z.. My compliments. Spectacular erudition!

    3. Dang 6:03... Elegant description of Z.. My compliments. Spectacular erudition!

    4. Yea, how about the recent quary written in perfectly fluent English from a "woman" about her recent visit to the bilingual church for confession, but the priest hearing did not speak Spanish. Would the confession be valid if a hispanoparlente confessed to a priest who didn't understand Spanish?

      Yes, if it was the only option. Of course not ideal, bla, bla, bla. All of this to give him an excuse to rant: "If you live in the United States, learn English."

  7. Everyone but Zippo who operates under the self-confected ethical exceptive clause :

    "I think that most people who live deviant lifestyles recognize, deep down in themselves, in the quiet parts of their minds, that their actions are wrong. They may have, with some limited success, beaten their consciences into submission, but “with unhurrying chase, and unperturbed pace, deliberate speed, majestic instancy, they beat – and a voice beat, more constant than the feet, ‘All things betray thee, who betrayest Me’” to quote Francis Thompson. To keep themselves from hearing the inner voices of their conscience – and verily, the voice of God – they need a ringing chorus of support and “understanding” to help them maintain the illusion that what they are doing is perfectly normal, perfectly, healthy, and a perfectly legitimate choice."

    And it keeps piling up.......

    1. Well, lacy-boy should know.

  8. How terribly uncomfortable it must be to be inching closer and closer to the end of one's threescore-and-ten, realizing that the Spirit of Vatican II is looking more and more moribund.

    You all have my sympathies.

    1. Well, Spirit of Vatican II was almost suffocated by the Buddies of Benedict (16) IMAGINE what a council under the guidance of Pope Francis would bring forth!
      Then you and your brocade butt buddies will be the ones needing sympathy. Or therapy.

    2. Hey Anonymous 1:01: If you think there's a future with HoneyWhiskers and the lacey brigade with their Museum Mass and bitchy bantering, YOU have everyone's sympathy - after we finish laughing at you of course!

  9. "committee-made-up-liturgy"

    The church knows all about those!