Sunday, November 30, 2014

DID HE OR DIDN'T HE? If only there were a way we could know for sure!



 "I went to Turkey as a pilgrim, not as a tourist. And I went especially for today’s feast celebrated by Patriarch Bartholomew . When I entered the mosque, I could not say: now I’m a tourist! I saw that marvelous place; the Mufti explained things very well to me, showing great meekness; he quoted the Quran when he spoke about Mary and John the Baptist. At that moment I felt the need to pray. So I asked him: Shall we pray a little? To which he responded: “Yes, yes”. I prayed for Turkey, for peace, for the Mufti, for everyone and for myself ... I said: Lord, let’s put an end to these wars! It was a moment of sincere prayer.”

Prayer is always a Breakthrough

Pope Francis is not only The Pope Of Christian Unity, he is also (for that very same reason) The Pope Wing Nut Krazies Hate. 

Father D muses: "Why didn't these converts become Orthodox? They already have the thuribles, the brocade, the ornate liturgical tastes, the wives and the facial hair .... Just do it!"

Oh wait.  The Greeks don't want them and their patrimony. The Russians will take them, providing they adopt the Julian Calendar (what a mess that issue is in and of itself among the Orthodox.) and use one of their already established Western Rites, and adopt fully embrace the Orthodox Patrimony, which would require that they drop their own Anglican baggage.

Oh wait, yet again. Pope Francis said Uniatism is a dated word. One of the most significant political issues with the Greek Patriarchate has been the Eastern Catholic Churches.   

"If we wait for theologians to reach an agreement, that day will never come! I am skeptical: theologians work well but Athenagoras said: “Let us put theologians on an island to discuss among themselves and we’ll just get on with things!” Unity is a journey we need to go on together, it is spiritual ecumenism, praying together, working together. Then there is ecumenism of the blood: when they kill Christians, bloods mix. Our martyrs are crying out: we are one. This is what ecumenism of the blood is. We must follow this path courageously and carry on moving forward. Perhaps some are not able to understand this. The Eastern catholic Churches have a right to exist, but uniatism is a dated word, another solution needs to be found.”

I'm sure many of you who follow Church Stuff know about this interview.  If not, you can find it here.  Please take a few moments and read all three pages.  It is well worth it. 

Interesting and exciting times.  Unity (not uniformity) in Diversity.  In Catholicism we need to listen to one another and to respect one another.  For thirty years those seeking freedom of the Traditional Latin Mass fought and struggled for it.  They should not have needed to do so.  But, once Summorum Pontificum gave them their hearts desire, many took this to the extreme and have attempted to impose their preferences on the rest of the Church through "mutual enrichment."   Either or, not both and. 

I can be stubborn.  I can be opinionated. I can be uncharitable.  Especially in the blogosphere where names, faces, thoughts and feelings are relegated to words on the screen. The Pope calls us all to mutual respect and dialog. Is it a challenge we can rise to?  Perhaps, if we open our minds and hearts to the movement of the Holy Spirit. 

Saturday, November 29, 2014


"And I ask you a favor: bless me and the Church of Rome!"

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to 

dwell together in unity!

The City of Constantine and the lamp-stand of the First-Called celebrates a joyful feast receiving the Primate of the venerable Church of Rome, seat of the Foremost Disciple and with an honest, brotherly-loving desire we gladly pray: Abide with us, O Paraclete, and lead us to Your truth, so that we will glorify You with one voice and one heart.


Above link opens a PDF

Would you believe people are upset about this?

Wait and see. 

Does Reverend Father John T. Zuhlsdorf get what it takes to feed the poor as HE calls for?

By HE, I mean HIM. 

Yeah, I know it's getting old but it's most appropriate for this post.

Does Father John Zuhlsdorf get it?
I had a couple conversations over the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday with friends and acquaintances about this issue. Father Z just does not get it, and I'm sad to say, I don't think he ever will.  
This isn't about traditional and contemporary rites of worship, nor is it about liberal and conservative political positions.

It is about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

"For I was hungry, and you gave me to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me to drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in:"   
Mathew 25:35 Douay-Rheims Bible  

Father Zuhlsdorf Doesn’t Really Understand This Economics Thing, Does He?

"We don’t have to take every pronouncement or opinion on every topic from every Pope as if it were the Lord’s ipsissima verba. (very words)  What the Bishop of Rome teaches about concerning faith and morals… those things we Catholics had better take really seriously and, often, give consent of will to.  On the other hand, when it comes to contingent moral choices (exactly how to accomplish that which is incumbent on Christians in this vale of tears), we can have an argument."
       ~Reverend (not quite Doctor) John T. Zuhlsdorf HERE 

Okay, if as Catholics we don't have to take the Pope's  ipsissima verba, so seriously what about those of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?  

Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’  MT 25:37-40

And he answered them, “Whoever has two tunics is to share with him who has none, and whoever has food is to do likewise.”LK 3:11

Surely the early Church didn't take the Lord verbatim did they?  They must have known He was speaking figuratively as when He said, in John 6:35:

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.
Well, those are probably the only places in scripture where feeding  and helping the poor are mentioned.  Certainly there is much more about liturgy being proof of right faith through right worship!

If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday.Isaiah 58:10
 Whoever gives to the poor will not want, but he who hides his eyes will get many a curse.Proverbs 28:27
 What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my worksJames 2:14-18
 But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.1 John 3:17-18
 Whoever gives to the poor will not want, but he who hides his eyes will get many a curse.Proverbs 28:27

I'm sure you get me overly belabored point by now. 

The practice of fasting during seasons of preparation (Advent, Lent) have traditionally been coupled with additional prayers and alms-giving.  In fact, when fasting, the money saved from not buying so much food, was supposed to become ones alms given to those in need.  It is these parts of Tradition that many find easy to over look. 

Just because this is a heavy post, and because i stumbled upon this picture for the first time today, I'm going to share it with you.  It will make you laugh or give you nightmares. 
Perhaps both. 

Update Sunday 2:00
Thanks to the tip of a reader here is the original photo. ( I had no clue and it could not be more appropriate!)

Precious Prelate. Precious Miter.

Friday, November 28, 2014

Morning Has Broken & the Black Friday Funnies Arrive

Usually the Funnies do not arrive until the Sunday Paper hits the hermitage door step.  Perhaps a Black Friday special here in the USA.  

When I checked my email there were some forty attempts to post that were derailed by the spam filters.  But someone has even less of a life than Fr. D.  Imagine how pathetic that is!  

I'm not hip, I'm not happening. I'm not even all that bright.  Heck I know my I.Q. is so low that if I had managed to make it into and successfully out of the Pontifical North American College, I would have my own diocese.  Heck, I'm such a spineless idiot, I would probably have been made successor to Fulton Sheen's old See.

The night before Thanksgiving I decided to turn off comments for the most recent posts.  After a post is about a week old, the blogger system sends all comments to  be moderated.  Usually I approve the comment, unless it's advertising. 

Once in a while, someone is so special, they deserve to have their comment highlighted.  Somethings are just meant to be shared.

With love, Fr D
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Ask Father D: Hand Positions During Mass: The Fick...":

Hows ya doin D? Hows yr unmentionables? Hurd ya done yaself a mischif, and das callin ua one hung lo. Didnt no use was chinese, D. Ya hides it well. In fct I's dicided to call ye one hung low cos I thinks it suits ya.

Mark as spam

Moderate comments for this blog. 

Posted by Anonymous to Father D's Blog at November 28, 2014 at 6:18 AM


7:29 AM (6 hours ago)
to me
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Ask Father D: Hand Positions During Mass: The Fick...":
Yous gettin a little titchy one hung lo - cant tak th heat? Alwas th wais wit yous jkers. Yous surs a funi lot yous cathlics. I jus likes 2 com arnd and sees wot yous up to ths das. Whn life gits borin I knos I can haf a laf at yous one hung lo. Has yous gt problm wit yrs unmensibles? mb thts y yous spnds yr lif on this here blog. I thord maybe yous wd go to th Vatticano and see ol frankie. He's a wit tht ol franki - yous Cathlics sur is hard ta fathm. Yous sems to hate one anthr. At lest we baptists we stick 2gethr. We don hav an ol man like your ol Franki. Yous also i thk gt a prostat prblm - xplains yr posts. Man wit prostat prblm he sur run off at th mth. Yous gt no girlsfrnd ethr one hung? Shm bt thn man with protrat prblm no good to no grl ethr. Wl hopes you njoi mi post. 


I hope each and every one of you had a good Thanksgiving. I did.
A morning Liturgy with many more family in attendance than I had expected, followed by a late afternoon dinner with family, both biological and adopted by choice. Family has different meanings to different people.  Family by blood, family through marriage and family by selective adoption.  By selective adoption I mean the people that we enjoy so much we wish we were related and spend a good deal of time together.  I had a good great day with my warped and bended  and majorly extended, family.  Lots of laughs. Especially over coffee and some chat about this blog and the recent nastiness in the comments.

Gratuitous Zed like meal out photo from my photo camera

Shuffling home to my quasi imitation semi monastic palatial cell I began to surf the net a bit for some holiday shopping and updated my amazon (yeah don't start on me...) wish list for my family who claim they never have an idea as to what to buy me. (black socks and handkerchiefs are ALWAYS welcome. Boring huh? ) Then my attention turned to a couple blogs I follow where I saw this....

Swiped from Zed's blog. Who could really make this up?

Which, of course, was found here.  Why do I even bother? Sometimes a parody just writes itself.  Or the silliness becomes manifest just by pointing to it and laughing. 

Of course he hung it up in the steamy trunk pipe back door evacuation venue.

Sometimes it's funny. Other times, it makes me feel sad for him.
I think he's an unhappy and lonely man.
I couldn't make this up if I wanted to. 

Blogger has been marking some of the vile comments as spam, and I'm leaving them there.  It seems to help the system weed them out via IP address. 

Advent is fast upon us. As such posts will probably diminish quite a bit, and if the comments get too mean and vile, I will moderate or just turn them off. I love freedom of exchange of information, ideas, humor and even a few sharp barbs when they're called for. Outright meanness and sexual raunchiness, not so much. 

Thursday, November 27, 2014


Note:  Commenting is off for the holiday.  Enjoy yours!

Monday, November 24, 2014


Father Major Minor Superior Welcomes you to 2015
Even though the Brotherhood is still living in 1815

Mother MaryJohn Cunnewicke has turned us on to the Transylvanian Redemptorists annual calendar.

I can think of few Calendars ... yes, this is the season, is it not, when people give each other calendars...and other swell toys for bad little boys  (not to mention communicable diseases).. which are more spectacular than that of the Who's Your Papa Transylvanian Spiritual Vampire Redemptorists.
Breath-taking photographs of intimate yet exquisite liturgy alternate with pictures of the breath-taking scenery as the Brethren go about their tasks on the island, not to mention other breathtaking intimacies. True Tridentine Eye Candy as others might say.  In terms of vestments, I love the shots of the working habits: the habits worn during hard labour, (if you know what I mean) with the leather hems worn and torn. July shows Fr Michael Mary and two brethren walking past a farm gate which I think may have been the one which they kindly and carefully opened for me ... and then cheerfully commented "The Bishop Fellay Show just vaulted over that"! My guess is the sheep took to hoof lickety-split when they saw that august prelate's under cassock bloomers flashing in the island's fiery sunset... but I digress...

"There are fairies at the bottom of our garden . . . "

Do you want to know the important centenaries which occur in 2015? (Wasn't Rev'd Father Hunewicke's Absolutely Null and Utterly Void Anglican ordination in 1915?) Would you like an attractive iconic painting of the Divine Child, kilted and wearing the Crown of Scotland (a marvellously beautiful late medieval crown, quite unlike the rather boring English Crown which had to be remade after the Great Rebellion) accompanied by a poem by S Robert Southwell which can be sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne? (Yeah. Kilted Jesus.WTF) This Calendar is truly and totally unique. Literally unique! (and probably illegal in several countries) And it has all the details needed for it to serve as a daily ORDO for the 1962 rite. (What other VALID rite is there really?)

Golgotha Monastery & Stigmata Blood Lab Island
Papa Benedetto Please Don't Go!
KY 69-666


NAC Tap Dancing Instructors 

Saturday, November 22, 2014


In an attempt to respond (so quickly he even didn't waste time putting on his zucchetto and shoulder cape)  in a sensitive pastoral manner to the concerns expressed (repeatedly and loudly) by the ever submissive, yet never submitting, boys over at RetRorate, His Holiness Pope Francis convened the gang of cardinal advisers to discuss the ways in which they could make Sunday's canonization of six new saints longer (=holier).

They decided to implement the following.

Immediately after the invocation (Father, Son and Holy Spirit GHOST) the Franciscan Friars  of the Immaculate (all fifteen left) will chant, recto tono, the complete Roman Martyrology.
After the Gospel,  all seven versions of the Nicene Creed will be recited in Latin and Greek and the vernacular language of each newly canonized saint.

At the conclusion of Mass, before the recession, all four Marian Antiphons will be chanted as a round,  by the Three Irish Tenors.

Friday, November 21, 2014


The Most Reverend Robert Morlino of the Diocese of Madison (Zed's Bishop for intents and purposes) does not like his photo taken. Really.  When a reporter, at a public talk, in a public location, by a public leader, would not stop taking his picture, The Most Reverend Bishop stopped the presentation, and moved it to St. Augustine University
Parish, the Catholic student center on campus, which is  property owned by the diocese.

As you can see, the Most Reverend XXXtrordinary  ordinary does NOT like to have his photo taken. Respect, please journalists. Respect.  Geez. He don't get no respect

Okay, the constant clicking was distracting. The brightness of the flash made it hard to look up during the talk. 

The threat of being cornered into a selfie was outright terrifying (and a violation of diocesan boundaries protocols) never mind that Pope Francis seems to love having them taken. 

But the last get-your-face-outta-my-space came when the reporter whipped out the wide angle lens. That's just plain cruel. 

Tuesday, November 18, 2014


The real reason Father Z went to Paris and bravely stayed in that horrible Le (sic) Hôtel Sans Internet.

Six hour drive with a nice overnight stay in a religious house.

The hills are alive!
In the town of Ecône



Ad multos annos, Archbishop Blase Cupich

"We cannot engage in real dialogue unless we are conscious of our 
own identity," as Pope Francis reminds us. But then he adds: "Nor can there be authentic dialogue unless we are capable of opening our minds and hearts, in empathy and sincere receptivity, to those with whom we speak . . . We are challenged to listen not only to the words which others speak, but to the unspoken communication of their experiences, their hopes and aspirations, their struggles and their deepest concerns . . . If our communication is not to be a monologue, there has to be openness of heart and mind to accepting individuals and cultures."

Archbishop-elect Blase Cupich
Homily, Reception at Holy Name Cathedral
November 17, 2014


as you succeed His Eminence

Werner Cardinal Klemperer

"What are you doing here?"
"That's one of the things I'd like to have the chance to ask him, if I ever get over there. Do you realize what has happened, just by that very phrase 'Who am I to judge?' How it's been used and misused? It has been very misused. Why doesn't he himself clarify these things? Why is it necessary that apologists have to bear that burden of trying to put the best possible face on it? Does he not realize the consequences of some of his statements, or even some of his actions? Does he not realize the repercussions? Perhaps he doesn't. I don't know whether he's conscious of all the consequences of some of the things he's said and done that raise these doubts in people's minds."

Francis Cardinal George
Interview with John Allen, Crux
November 17, 2014

Monday, November 17, 2014


Well, it's all but official.

They're off.

No, not just that kind of "off" (that was obvious even to me)

"Off" as in "taking off" . . . . 


Our most famous converts in recent years have had a rough year and a half. See, every Pope Benedict fart had a whiff of incense about it and the weight of infallibility. Papa Francesco not so much. These converts have clearly had it with the "Church of Nice" when they were counting on joining the "Church of Mean" so they're on the road again . . . toward really mean Ecône.

OK, they haven't come right out and said it, but do you think Fr. D is stupid or something? (Raise your hand if you want to answer and don't speak until you're called on!)

But whether it's RetRorate's drooling over Sandra Magister-Bator, Reverend Mother Cunniwicke's proposed new papal encyclical Stercus Accidit, Father Z-It's-Me-Back-From-Gay-Pahree teaming up with Michael Voris' hair, or even the Kraziest Katholic in the Kloset . . . they've had it and They. Are. Outta. Here. 

Who knew all it took was a kindly Pope who loves Jesus and the little folks to send this whole angry nasty gang who love only maniples and themselves off to annoy their NEXT Church?

Of course, what Ecône's going to do with all those ex-Anglicans with their committee-cobbled-together liturgies, wives and unsightly facial hair, who knows. Though there is some precedent.

Well, you know how I love to make people laugh and help them have a good time, especially this gang if they'll finally just leave and leave the rest of us alone.

So I've worked out a travel deal to send them on their way!

Fr. D's Re-Conversion Cruise 2014

Ship ahoy! It's Princess Cruises' "Crown Princess"

Is a Princess close enough to a Queen for this gang?

It's even got a LATIN code name: NOROVIRUS!

Have a nice trip . . . oh and DLTDHY, etc.

Or for a beautiful example of the Traditional Latin version of the official Re-Conversion Cruise 2014 "Ecône Anthem," here's Urbs Jerusalem Beata courtesy of New Liturgical Bowel Movement):

DISCLAIMER: Fr. D. is not responsible for vulgarities left by traditionalist Catholics whose heroes I've insulted with my good-natured attempts at humor, especially when those comments are posted during the night after their usual hang-outs have closed down or are being monitored by the police. I don't mind you nutty people having some laughs on me but there's no need to use nasty, dirty words. You kiss your mom or the altar or the gospel book or your framed portrait of Pope What's-His-Name with those lips? Tsk, tsk, tsk!

Sunday, November 16, 2014


OK - I lied. It wasn't Parma. But at least it started with a "P"!

"How you gonna keep 'em down in tacky Madison

Once I landed, it was time for friends (my hosts, actually, and since they are ontologically-inferior to me, aka PEASANT-LAITY, paying for my food the way the SHEEPLE on my blog paid for the plane ride) to feed me tout-suite, as we who parley-vous say.

Alas, they didn't come up with much, just a few goodies (but after the two meals on the flight over, it hit the spot!):

On the way home, we stuck our heads into St. Germain-sur-le-Toilette, near the Louvre. I saw on the schedule that they have the Extraordinary Form there: Mais oui, quoth I (I always try to use one of the many languages I've mastered), a STIPEND!  Thus, when I got home, I shot the place an email, using the high-end laptop provided by you gullible fools devoted readers, with the request that I might be able to say a paying Mass at the church.  This is one of the problems for a priest when traveling: finding a friendly place to say Mass where they don’t force you into a purgatory of concelebration, meaning YOU GET A STIPEND! 
Afterwards, I spoke with whom I assume to be the parish priest: he didn't have a half-cape or biretta on, and looked like he was working, so who knows?  He recognized me right away (as often happens: I'm just so gosh darn famous - and handsome!). As he walked away, he was muttering something in French (it's amazing how everyone here in Paris learns to speak French when they're very young - unlike people in the States, except the home-schoolers who are so smart they pay most of my bills).  We couldn’t chat long, because he wanted to greet people after Mass (why would you want to do that AFTER Mass, when they've already put something in the collection? Do it before so they think you actually care). Also he probably didn't want to be seen with me. But I think I may be on for their Thursday evening TLM (I still have to make sure there's a hefty stipend attached to it).  I still need a place for daily Mass but … I brought my Mass kit, complete with my SPORCH traveling altar cards - so keep sending in those STIPENDS!):

By now, it had been a full two hours since my last meal. Where to eat? What to eat? For supper I started with snails.  What else, given the way I was feeling by this time: like the pampered slug I am, dragging my ass along with my military Mass kit on my back.

And a beef casserole.  It wasn’t Boeuf bourgignon, but one of its numerous regional iterations.  The carrots had a touch of cumin, which was nice - and I think it's best I don't say any more about the cumin, remembering how some nasty Kasper/Forte types misinterpreted my fondness for spotted dick during one of my many laity-funded food junkets to Merrie Olde Englande back when the big bucks were flowing my way (before even LAYPEOPLE started catching on to my shell game).

Now to find a midnight snack: it's been another hour or so.
Prayers for you gullible peasant laity payees readers during my perambulations. This is a bit of a vacation for me, in that I get to be a tourist, I don’t have anything in particular that I have to do here (conference, talk, errands, hook-ups, as I always have in Rome, NYC, etc.) - ha ha kind of like Madison, though I do have to buy fabric, show the seminarians my powerpoint presentation on clown Masses, puppets and liturgical abuses in Argentina, and feed that enormous Bishop (no small feat that last chore!). I haven’t been to Paris for years. I don’t know the city all that well, so it is fun to reacquaint myself and do some exploring . . . if you get my drift . . . oooo la la (some more Francais there!). I am straining at the leash (you remember that famous 5.11 leash!) . . . 'nuf said!
Hey, what are you thinking?

DISCLAIMER: Fr. D. is not responsible for vulgarities left by traditionalist Catholics whose heroes I've insulted with my good-natured attempts at humor, especially when those comments are posted during the night after their usual hang-outs have closed down or are being monitored by the police. I don't mind you nutty people having some laughs on me but there's no need to use nasty, dirty words. You kiss your mom or the altar or the gospel book or your framed portrait of Pope What's-His-Name with those lips? Tsk, tsk, tsk!