Wednesday, May 28, 2014

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER: A Spiritual Bouquet For Father Z

Well folkz, I blew it.  I failed to remember the anniversary of the Ordination to the Sacred Priesthood of the Reverend Father John Todd Zuhlsdorf on the 26th Day of May, by the now Saint Pope John Paul the Great.  May God grant Father Z many years in His service. 

I think it will be a nice gesture to send him a note or a card for this occasion.  Perhaps have a Mass, or Moleben offered for his intentions, his health, or say a decade of the Rosary, or offer an hour of Eucharistic Adoration, etc. 

To send your greetings directly, his contact information as listed on the Diocese of Veletri-Segni website:

Zuhlsdorf Rev Fr. John 
DOB 28/10/1959; ordination. 26/05/1991
c/oBishop O'Connor Center
702 South High Point Road
P.O. Box 44983
Madison, Wisconsin  53719


If you don't want to go that far, please leave a note in the comments section, anonymously if you wish sending him greetings and what you are adding to the Spiritual Bouquet that I will send him a print out of via mail.  Example: "Happy Anniversary Father Z, I am offering a decade of the Rosary for your intentions in honor of your anniversary. From F.G. in CA  Or, "I am giving a $10.00 donation in your name, in honor of your anniversary to NAME charity. From J.R. in Rome."

I am offering a Moleben for his intentions on Friday 30 May 2014 during which will be included an Akathist to the Holy Mother of God, the Softener of Hardened Hearts.

N.B. For those who do not know a spiritual bouquet is a collection of prayers and spiritual actions given up for a specific purpose, intention or occasion. 

If you can't be charitable, then refrain from commenting on this specific post please.  We do not always need to agree.  We can continue to challenge his perceptions, actions and outright absurdity, but for this moment, for this occasion, let us be part of the Francis Effect.   You can also send your contribution to the spiritual bouquet privately to

  01 June 2014 UPDATE:  Thank you all for your offerings for Father Z.  They will be forwarded to him in tomorrows mail.  I have closed the comment box on this post, as its purpose has been fulfilled.  Fr D. 

Sunday, May 25, 2014


If you are overly sensitive or if vulgarity (f-bomb) turns your  tender tummy, leave now.  Click the X in the upper right hand corner. You've been warned.

As a followup to our ever popular Drink the Red Do the Black tee shirts, coffee mugs and beer steins, I am happy to offer and hopeful for your MULTIPLE purchases of this latest gem of Sacerdotal Swag....

What every Trid-Trad* priest needs to have displayed prominently on his desk just to set people straight (get it?) when they come to the rectory office expecting that Francis' mercy and tenderness have trickled down to the land flowing with scotch and money (the typical American parish).
Disabuse them of that fiction, magna cum celeritate - as we say in the sacred tongue spoken in heaven - by letting them see that Father suffers fools even less gladly than he does altar girls, eucharistic ministers and permanent deacons!
*This tyrannical and obnoxious attitude is also found among Lunatic Libs and Charismatic Cretins. No matter your theological or liturgical inclinations, this Mug's for you!

The Zed Mug
This is not dishwasher safe and will most likely fade significantly if exposed to even moderate sunlight. 
Also available as a bumper sticker that will disintegrate in the dampness of the morning fog.  Mystic Monk coffee not included
 Also available in Roman Purple, Scarlet Red, or Forest Green for prelates.  Please add an additional $39.95 for these prelatial colours.

Father D is eternally grateful to his creative design team and swag department for churning out cheap tat to keep me fat. 


Tuesday, May 20, 2014


Yes, it's true. Father Z attempted to bitch slap two deacons via his blog. Well, they DID deserve it of course.(Not!)  There were talking about him after all! Imagine the nerve of those deacons! How dare they take on A PRIEST!!

Why?  You ask.  In Zzzz's own words "They disseminated something about me that isn’t true.  This isn’t a huge deal, (But I bet he makes it one) but it bears some explanation because I really like the topic."

 In a recent post about his Kansas City Bender, the ever good Father rather proudly related that he wore an amice that once belonged of the Cure of Ars, Saint John Vianney. I really didn't take much notice of this (though I do think it is very cool, and I'm a little bit jealous) until one of my three loyal readers mentioned it, and another shared with me a quote attributed to the saint that kind of sort of fits the situation.

"Are people bad-mouthing you? They're telling the truth. Are they singing your praise? They're making fun of you."
-Cure' of Ars

What else can we say?

People correct me all the time.  I miss the mark at least fifty percent of the time, so they are right in doing so.  This is part of the reason that I allow open comments.  We all need an ego check from time to time.  

Speaking of ego checks, its seems that Deacon Bill Ditewig, Ph.D. is giving one to our brother Father Zzzz.  Take note of the comments and Deacon Bill's follow up. 

Sunday, May 18, 2014


This is a photo heavy post folks.  The following photos were posted by a priest in the period of 48 hours.  In the midst of a young man's ordination as a transitional deacon.

N.B.  Now, my understanding and memories of the Usus Antiquior (therefore general Catholic Tradition) is that ordinations were prepared for with fasting and prayer.  Perhaps those aspects of the tradition are not part of the "mutual enrichment" theory.

I'M FRIENDS WITH BISHOP FINN AND I FIRE ASSAULT RIFLES. Anything in my seminary files that says I was dismissed for fooling around with other seminarians is a Lie! I FIRED AN UZI! 

Above quote from a reader, for which I am IMMENSELY grateful!

Then, in the midst of the alcohol pictures were comments about the quality of the brand of distilled spirits offered.  I am assuming, based on these comments, that offerings were of a high (expensive?) quality.  (Father D is not a drinker.  An occasional Sam Adams or Heineken or glass of wine from a bottle that cost under ten dollars are within my budget.)

Then something about it being "fleet week."  Is that a alcoholic naval binge party reference?  Is Father Zzzz in the Navy?  Hmmm.  Around my house growing up fleet week had a entirely different meaning.  Usually after Easter when we binged on cheese after a forty day fast, Gramma sometimes got a little backed up.

 Well Father Zed, as a priest probably expects things presented with a bit more flourish.  How's this?

 Yeah.  That's better.  Thank goodness Zzzz man is kind enough to post pictorial guides for uz ignun't folkz to follow!

Now, removing my crude juvenile enema reference, if Pope Francis were presented with the above photos and told they were from the blog of a priest, what do you think his reaction would be?  An example of harnessing the use of social media for the New Evangelization?

Oh.  For those who think I exaggerate, or outright pull this stuff out of my twisted mind, see here and here

Monday, May 12, 2014


Once again, His Holiness, in speaking to seminarians has made very clear concise statements of what kind of priests the Church needs and that His Holiness, expects.

I'm not going to pretend this is my story.  I'm merely passing along those tidbits passed to me and the links I think tell the broader story. 

" Pope Francis told seminarians not to become “orphan priests,” who are motherless without Mary; “businessman priests,” who are after money; or “prince priests,” who are aloof from the people.

He also warned them not to give “boring homilies,” saying their reflections should be brief, powerful and address the problems and concerns people are really going through." Source: Patheos

 Elsewhere I read " First of all, he warned the students against academism, saying it was “dangerous” when student returns from studying in Rome not as “a father”, but as “doctor.”

“I would not understand a priest a priest who is getting a degree

 here, in Rome, but does not have a community life: This is 

wrong,” said Pope Francis.  

Now, all this considered, I would have thought that the ever 
self promoting Father Zzzzzzzz would CERTAINLY have 
SOME comment to make about these important statements  

by His Holiness to future priests.  Nope.  Not. One.  Thing.  

Well Father D, what DID Father Z comment on today? 

Certainly it must be equally important?

I read Well, as much as I don't really care to, lets have a look 

see:  Altar girls, Liberal Writer Turning on Pope, Summorum Pontificum. It won’t be stopped.(good to know John.)  Cardinal Burke's DO'S & DONT'S on closing parishes. 

Poppycock!  Let's end with some thoughts from Pope Francis:

In speaking to thousands of seminarians gathered in the Paul VI Hall, Pope Francis, among other items of advice, warned them not to give "boring homilies," saying their reflections should be brief, powerful and address the problems and concerns people are really going through.

One of the reasons why there are so many "boring homilies" is because priests aren't "close" to their people, he said. The measure for seeing how close a priest is to his parishioners is his homily, he added.

Pope Francis lamented long homilies, telling the students he knows the 40-minute homily "isn't something made up. It happens!"

Homilies also should not be "about abstract things," he said.

While it expresses "the truth of faith," a homily shouldn't be a classroom lesson, a conference or an academic reflection, but be "something else," that borders on the sacramental, and is "brief and powerful."

He said "we are late" in picking up on this problem and that the church has a lot to do to ensure homilies are under 10 minutes and done well "so that people understand" the word of God.


Saturday, May 3, 2014

FATHER'S ROMAN JUNKET: Just sit and wait!

Father D! Father D! When we will hear about your Rome trip?  What about the food? What about all the Curial gossip you usually hint at?

Being a bit demanding are we not?  Father is VERY busy!  With only a few days to hit as many as my favorite restaurants as possible, AND constantly kiss up to and praise His Grand Immensity the All-mighty no necked Bishop of Madison. (you poor simple ignorant readers and readerettes have NO idea just how much @zz kissing one must do on such a considerably large gluteus maximus such as His Immensity to even be CONSIDERED for incardination!)

Father has been taking copious notes and photos with which to update and titillate you.  And your donations were not all that generous. Were it not for the Great Value Rations from my Bug Out Bag, Father would have starved to death in the Eternal City!

I was able scrape up a enough for almost half of a would be discarded bottle of barely decent Pinot Grigio. This, chumps, is what Pinot Grigio is supposed to look like.  Organic, small batch, unfiltered… you get the true sense of the grey grape.  None of your insipid pinot grigio gulping wine, this. This grabs you by the… earlobe, (how I miss the way Reynaldo used to do that) and gets your attention.
Note the color. So much like Reynaldo's smooth skin.

Pay. Pray. Obey. In that order.
Don't question Father.

No worries. I forgive you.  
Use the donation button to express your contrition. Father's Amex and VISA bills are off the charts this month.