by asking the Papal Almoner, Archbishop Konrad Krajewski, to distribute 400 sleeping bags to Rome's homeless poor. He was assisted by those few Swiss Guards who were not involved by the Vatican's Gay Lobby in the plot to force Benedict XVI's resignation.
Although traditionally attired in Monsignorial fuchsia while performing official duties as a papal MC, Krajewski was known to spend his free-time in such non-clerical (and therefore non-Fr-Z approved) activities as feeding the hungry, clothing the destitute, visiting the sick and imprisoned . . . "You could tell he was trouble . . .
Speaking of books, Madison's homeless poor this Christmas are hugely in luck! They'll be enjoying free personal copies of THE BOOK to be passed out at homeless shelters and curbsides and alleyways all over Madison! THE BOOK!
Nah, not that book, not the Bible. THE BOOK: "STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE OR GO TO HELL: The Eternally Beatific Upside to Enduring a Miserable Earthly Marriage." An enlightening collection of practical how-to strategies for warring husbands and wives by a committee of (mostly) celibate clerics, some of whom know actual husbands and wives. Yeah, baby! Roast your chestnuts by an open fire with the help of this page-turner!
Begoglio and his sleeping bags? Bah, humbug! (Although, in a nod to tradition, the sleeping bags are said to be embossed with the papal crest. That should count from something with the Krazies, ecclesiastical heraldry being one of the major preoccupations of that krowd . . . right after damask and catafalques).
Of course my parish will be more like this: