|Cardinals Müller, Brandmüller and Caffarra at Ignatius Press' Meet-Greet-and-Anathematize|
Saturday, September 20, 2014
CONSERVATIVE CARDINALS CONFRONT COMPULSIVE COMPASSION
Their new blockbuster book is entitled:
REMAINING IN THE TABERNACLE:
Keeping Jesus Safely Locked Away
From Divorced and Other Deviant Catholics
But then, no one ever expects these guys!
Known as "The Fiery Five," only three of the Cardinal contributors, Cardinals Müller, Brandmüller and Caffarra, were available for the book's roll-out at Ignatius Press headquarters yesterday.
Cardinal Capote was on his way to Chicago where he had expected to be named Archbishop, while Cardinal DePaolis was taking part, uncharacteristically, in an interfaith celebration, assisting Muslim clerics in Teheran administer 91 lashes each to the Iranian students who danced to Pharrell's "Happy" in an Internet viral video.
Cardinal Müller explained the inspiration behind this so-to-be-hailed-as-classic: "As the Bergoglio tsunami of compulsive compassion threatens to sweep away centuries of black-and-white in a muddy ooze of feel-good beige, someone had to stick their finger in the
dyke dike, and we figured why settle for a finger when five can make a fist? I mean, smelling like the sheep is one thing but feeding the dogs . . . you know what I mean . . . "
A page-turner for sure!
And with today's news that Cardinal Capote was not named to Chicago and that the Pope (what a coincidence!) has appointed a commission to reform the annulment process already causing incomprehensible stammering in Madison and a four-chain-thurible-meltdown-cum-bugia-burnout at RetRorate, where nerves were already frayed by the realization that Michael Davies is still dead and digestion seriously impeded by the ingestion of a bad text in Rome and a tainted sausage in New York, this hefty tome (304 uplifting pages!) arrives not a moment too soon to get everyone's minds off compassion and back on laying down the law!
If more audio-visual healing is needed, Fr D humbly suggests something that always works for him, especially after watching a Michael Voris' militant mania: