Monday, June 30, 2014

We’ve see this movie before, and it ain’t The Bells of St. Mary!

I'm sorry.  I had resisted for over a year and I broke down.  Somethings, once seen, cannot be UNseen. No matter what.

"But Father, Father, what did you see that has you so aflutter?" you ask.

This Amazon Wish ListWARNING!  Don't look unless you are ready to be scandalized.

The "profile" at the top reads thus:
This list is for: Fr. John T. Zuhlsdorf Birthday: October 28
Ship-to: John Zuhlsdorf, MADISON, WI

Ordained 26 May 1991 by John Paul II in Rome for the Suburbicarian Diocese of Velletri-Segni (ITALY). Moderator: Catholic Online Forum; Columnist: The Catholic Herald (UK). Licentiate in Patristic Theology from the "Augustinianum​" in Rome. Doctoral candidate at same. Ministry in Diocese of Madison. Speaker. Blogger: fatherzonline.​com Twitter: @fatherz
I'm speechless. 
Page one tallies up to $4333.00
Page two tallies up to $3493.00
GRAND TOTAL OF  $7772.00

This does not include the request for 200 Amazon gift cards in increments of fifty and one hundred dollars. 

 Now, if I had three grand in gift cards for the same company on which I had a "wish list" I would be sure to get at least a few of those higher priced items.  Wouldn't you?

Now, donations are down for June.  The olimometer widgit tells us
as of midnight June 30, 2014
so.  Since only HALF of the desired lucre was received, will July start off with an additional two thousand tacked on to it?

Please, dear readers, just because you are on vacation, does not mean you neglect Father's needs!  Father's creditors don't take a summer vacation.  Just as your local parish needs you to turn in envelopes for the weeks you miss when traveling, Father needs you to chip in for the blog posts you might have missed. Perhaps only registered donors should be allowed to comment?

Watch the money. 

I feel dirty. I need a shower. 


  1. *SARCASM* Maybe, just maybe he uses these small denomination gift cards as help for the poor. *END SARCASM*

  2. amazon bio:
    "Ministry in Diocese of Madison."

    fr z today june 30th:
    "I have said Mass with the Novus Ordo 3 times since… last October, I think"

    uh what kind of ministry is going on? awesome job helping out the presbyters of madison. im sure theres some 80 odd year old cleric who had to say his 3rd sunday mass yesterday who would of appreciated a break.

  3. OMG Anonymous number 2! You are in BIG trouble.

    First: FATHER does not approve of the term "presbyter". (Maybe that's 'cos his eye doctor keeps telling him he has "presbyopia" and somewhere in the fog of his Greek FATHER sorta knows that "presbyter" means "elder".) Whatever. Only libbberals use the term "presbyter" and FATHER does not like libbberals. You must use "priests of madison", or "sacerdoses of madison". That's Latin. FATHER likes Latin.

    Second: FATHER does not approve of 80 year old clerics. Old clerics are generally way too libbbberal. They read the Tablet. They read the National Catholic Reporter. FATHER likes young, juicy clerics. Keep that in mind.

    Third: FATHER doesn't say Mass in Madison, unless Bishop Morlino or Cardinal Burke or someone important is in town. No. FATHER is cosmopolitan. He says Mass in exciting places like New York, London and Rome, where you can eat yummy food and drink fancy cocktails after saying Mass. Madison is basically a depot for Amazon deliveries of ammo, expensive electronic toys and other offerings that FATHER's supplicants send him.

    Got it, Anonymous? Next time you comment like that, you'll get some red ink. You certainly won't get FATHER's gold star for the day.

  4. My God, that wish list really is sick. Has no one ever asked this guy's bishop at a priest's meeting why he allows this to go on? Basically Zuhlsdorf is making gullible Catholics pay for him to get drunk at the Acton Institute, or to buy himself fancy guns? What kind of priest is this, and what kind of example of the priesthood?


    1. Anon June30 3:59PM, I think that the fundamental issue here is that the Zuhlzsmeister isn't part of a legitimate order of priests. If, in fact, he were part of a community subject to leadership and discipline a superior would have stuffed a sock in his mouth years ago.

      Can anyone translate "Island of misfit toys" into Latin? That would be an appropriate name for a diocese for this pseudo soldier plastic patriot to belong. This guy is a con-man huckster abusing his capacity as a priest.

      May God always bless the good and hard working priests who are REALLY doing Christ's work here in our time!

    2. How about 'Insula sine-cura in ludibus raptis.' (My translation; Do I hear an AMEN?)

      The Brick will be reaching for his expensive 'donated' Lat-Eng word book
      to figure this one out. Maybe he can read it through Benedict!

    3. Hey! I like that one.... google translates this as "island that has no care, in praises, robbed of her"

      This could work as a personal motto for the Z too:

      Tractatu parva pretium est, et ut a gun ad supplendum defectum.

    4. Anonymous, July 1, 10:14 AM, with all due respect the Google translation of 'Insula sine-cura in ludibus raptis' is slavishly literal. My translation, I actually shoot the Glock in Latin, better represents 'Island of misfit toys' proposed by Anonymous June 20, 4:23 PM:

      I am confident that even +Robert the Rotund of Madison would approve of the Brick's new suburbicarian canonical entity:

      'A Refuge without-(pastoral)-care amid the stolen toys (playthings)

      And let's never forget the gun freak's credo:

      'Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.'

  5. But Fathers, but Fathers, what we are surly noticing is the beginning of the eschatological solution for the Brick-with-Eyes. I have said this before [HERE] and [Here] and I insist again that the gormless, weak minded and gullible disciple of the Brick are becoming less and less so. They are learning to make independent adult choices and to distinguish between fact, truth, reality and Z BS. In short Brick, the crass, grasping materialist is finding himself in deeper levels of do-do every month now.

    The kindly resident Liberal Fish-Wrap reading cleric has illustrated the short fall in the Brick's income. One will notice that the slime meter has dramatically risen from around $2, 500 to 3, 500 to 4, 000 in the space of two days. This could be genuine, true, but equally the Brick may be deeper and deeper gripped with the old 'Honor-Shame' dynamic and fiddled with the remote control. Fathers, you need to drill into this one. Be strong, be persistent, be charitable, excel in works of charity, wear the Maniple and Biretta at all times. The young priests and seminarians love this kind of stuff. You can do it too.

    Some other things the challenged disciples are beginning to twig to is that the Brick is incardinated into a Roman diocese. Rome is over there, not here. Brick is 'enrolled' in a doctoral course at the Augustinum in Rome. The Augustinum, its faculty, Z's virtual thesis supervisor and the famous Library are not at Supine Farm. Furthermore, and this is really embarrassing, Rome is not in Madison. It is not being lost on the devout echos of the Brick that the whole doctorate caper is a sham. The Brick knows it, the Liberals know it. The Brick doesn't mention it. He's too busy shooting trees and being on the Mission in the Greater Madison area.

  6. But hasn't this been going on for a decade now? Where he has no assignment and claims he's working on a doctorate?

    Also, um--how do I put this… no offense to the priests on this site, but is it just me or is this creep completely frozen at the age of 14? There's SOME psych testing they do for the seminary, yes?

    1. The Suburbicarian dioceses of Rome have different standards than here in the USA. But still there should be SOME testing...

  7. Don't be coy about clerical human development. Sipe, Eugene Kennedy and others have book loads to say about that. A prominent and highly credentialed Australian religious woman theologian and educator years ago described Cardinal George Pell as having the moral development of a thirteen year old.

    I don't think the Brick has advanced to that level.

    1. How very right you are.

      In my first assignment, a housemate had stuffed the the third floor of the rectory so full of plastic figurines and comic books that State Farm demanded a clean out. When asked to do that, the resulting door slamming and foot-stomping and yes, tears, took the rest of by absolutely no surprise. But though deeply immature and mercurial, Father was also a gentle man, a surprisingly good homilist, and truly patient with the eldery parishioners. He just needed help growing up and the authority and autonomy of Christ's priesthood is a terribly impoverished place to find that help.

      I have struggled with this myself. I had the benefit of a large family. In my mid-thirties my baptized a cousin's baby and at the celebration afterward that my brothers and brothers-in-law and male cousins were uninterested in my company. I had become inured to the isolation of clergy but saw this was different qualitatively -- my peers were treating me that day as though I was younger than they, for indeed in important ways I was. Thus I chose to work on it with spiritual advisors, mentors, a therapist and my confessor.

      This is the intentional path and that is to say the less natural. God grants the grace of the unintended path to maturity, through daily relationship and care for another. My married male relatives became more manly than me at that time because of the graces conferred in marriage.In days past priests did not live alone on the farms of their divorced parents. nor a suite of hotel rooms called a "pastoral center," without the due sense of irony. Nor indeed did they even in solitary splendor in parish rectories. They found themselves in familial relationships of mentoring, care, competiton, conflict and reproof which unintentionally stretched the clay of their souls into more beautiful forms. A soul shouldn't have to choose to grow up because to use a liberal phrase, it takes a village. It is a travesty when men who such need of it find a ghost town when a village ought to be there. Shame on his bishop, so very derelict in paternal responsibility to Father Zuhlsdorf, for the continued exile.

      I wish, for his own edification, that Father Zuhlsdorf find good mentorship, strong friendships, challenging community and good spiritual and penitential direction. To some extent his blog is a surrogate for those thing and Monsignor T Kudos to him for his creation.

      But as we know he has a need to do better still than that. May the intercession of the Queen of the Clergy and Saint John Vianney help him become all that might be. I will pray for him. I hope others, in their charity for this lost sheep, will do the same.

    2. best post ive ever read on this blog, excellent comment father

    3. Thanks Father T, for elevating the conversation.

  8. Readerette here. I struggled to follow some of that but I am totally glad that I stuck with it. It was beautiful. Thank you Fr T. You helped me find some forgiveness for Z.

  9. Fer hevvin's sake, folks: look at who the bishop of Madison is! You expected that Fr. Cretin would be happy elsewhere, maybe?

    1. If he were anywhere else he'd probably have to WORK.

    2. 'Work,' for His Indolence the Brick, is an Ens Rationis (my translation into Latin from proto-Ugaritic)

    3. It's so strange that Z is doing his work in the epicenter of the Freedom From Religion Foundation... One would rationally (at least in my modest opinion) that here would be a place amongst all others that the church would attempt to show itself at best fulfilling the work of Christ rather than obnoxiously holding on to the past and its institutional power over the faithful.