Thursday, November 21, 2013

Wymyn Priests and Feminizing the Sanctuary

And some traditionalists are worried that women priest would feminize the clergy and go so far as referring to women  who advocate for women's ordination as COWS!  (I'm not kidding, he calls them cows...)


For the record.  Father D does not support the ordination of women to the priesthood.  However, he does think that the conversation on the Office of Deaconess should be discussed openly and with thorough research in Scripture and Tradition.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Who knew something so wrong, could feel so right?


One year ago today, after much encouragement from the smartest person I know, along with the most impish person I know Father D's Blog rose from the ashes as What Does the Priest Really Do All Day. The Reverend Father Juan Todd Duhzuhldorf took the reigns from the elderly Right Reverend Monsignor S. Guy Blathering, P.A. who retired from blogging to pursue his passions of cold press soap making, rosary repair, rogue ecclesiastical heraldry and stray canine rescue in the slums of Jailisco Guadalajara Mexico.  Many happy years Monsignor!

Traditional one year anniversary gifts for bloggers are, ammo, amazon gift cards, Pax House.Com gift certificates, a pledge of a monthly recurring donation that you intend to follow through on. No more deadbeats!

For those who are about to ask, YES we will be celebrating with an octave.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

GUEST POST: Never Let a Natural Disaster Pass Without Advancing Your Personal Agenda

In the midst of commenting on the disaster in the Philippines and how it all relates to HIS world view, Fr. Zzzz didn't even bother to mention or encourage making a donation (or offering prayers) for the disaster relief efforts going on.  We want to make sure we do this right away.  

And now our guest post.......

"People are walking like Zzzombies looking for liberals to shoot. It’s like a movie…. It’s like the end of the world."

Sister Readerette of Perpetual Disappointment here with a guest post. Did you overhear me? "There’s goes crazy ol’ Father Z again! Every time there is a big disaster, he posts about prepping!”

That’s right. He says that's because it could happen to us. Natural disasters happen. Man made disasters happen. They can happen where you are and to you.

Do you have any sort of plan? Taking care of yourself and your loved ones is not something you want to be sloppy about. Don't worry, Father Z won't ask you to take of your neighbor, though, by donating to disaster relief due to the devastation caused in the Philippines by the super typhoon. That might sound like a joke, the way the zombie thing is a bit of a joke in pop culture. This isn’t a joke. Nope. Not funny at all.

TEOTWAWKI, as he calls something that's not quite the second coming, can happen to you. And that's what is important, not that it happens to someone else who suffers, but that it could happen to you.

What our wise Father Zuhlsdork has in mind for your wallet is shopping spree at your local army/navy surplus shop, or as he calls it, a plan: "Having a plan and a ready stash of potable water, grab-n-go food, clothing, a back up of necessary meds, and… yes… weapons and ammo for hunting and for protection are bare necessities.  After a while money won’t be worth much, compared to, say, a can of pickled okra.

"I say, spend some money now for things that have real value, including items that can keep you and your loved ones healthy and alive in time of need."

"But Father! But Father!" this set me howling, "GUNS? For protection? You are a fear-mongering war-monger.  People are nice when we are nice to them.  Besides, Pres. Obama will send the government to help us! And you hate Vatican II!"

"Sure when the food runs out, people will be nice," said His Reverence with an eyeroll. "I rather think that people will get strange.  Wait until all the people who are on (often over-prescribed) drugs for their depression or for their other mental states… come off their meds way too fast and get crazy.  People who are hungry and thirsty and frightened for their children can get pretty desperate.  And dogs get wilder fast and form packs.

You can always trade ammo."

He instructed me further, because I'm just a girl and don't understand religious things like the words of Jesus. "We are all nine meals and three days of water away from looting and violence. Look. Aside from EMPs from attacks or CMEs, when tornadoes rip through places like Joplin, Missouri, I think about readers here. There are floods, earthquakes, … lots of bad things happen to real people.  They can happen to real people like you and like me.

"You might want to read the Deep Winter series.  Lights Out and One Second After also present scenarios that provoke thought.  There are lots of books in this genre.  This genre of writing is not great literature, but it drills into the sorts of things that could happen to you and me."

Indeed they could, Father. Nine, and three, and seven times seventy, oh I can't do math with my female brain! But I had always thought until now that when these things happen to our neighbor (whom we have been commanded to love), we are supposed to be people who are nice. So I spent my little (Ed: widow's mite ) all on disaster relief instead of MREs, BDUs, and semi-automatic weapons with which to kill my hungry neighbors. What a mistake! Thank you for your chastening reproof. We are so lucky to have a man so holy as you blogging for us.

Friday, November 15, 2013


According to a Catholic bishop in Springfield, Illinois, Satan was behind his state's recent legalization of same-sex marriage.
So, next Wednesday, at about the same time Gov. Pat Quinn signs the gay marriage bill into law, Bishop Thomas Paprocki will hold an exorcism ceremony "in reparation for the sin of same-sex marriage."


Next Tuesday is a very special day for Father D (that's me) and the readers of this blog (that's you)!  

Any idea what it might be?
A day very special to you and to me.

Okay. It's..........

No. Figure it out. 

My lips are sealed until Tuesday next. A substantial gift (to ME) might convince me to reveal it to YOU few selected regular donors. Never the ordinary riffraff that frequent this dive, so don't even bother.

Thursday, November 14, 2013


Father D loves our seminarians.  There was a wonderful young chap who was studying at the NAC that used to drop me a line once in a while.  The past few months he has been silent.  I do hope he is okay. Stop right now.  Say a prayer for all the guys at the Pontifical North American College.  They are the cream of the crop, the best and the brightest (in addition to the suck ups and brown nosers) that our dioceses here in North America have to offer. They are future leaders: pastors, chancery officials, monsignori, bishops, and maybe even a cardinal or two.  Pray they can keep their zeal and their charity.

Recent searches according to the blog statistics there has been quite a bit going on at the NAC. Recent searches that have led folks to this blog are:

pontifical north american college STD,  pnac std, nac gay seminarian, gay seminarian outed nac, pnac sex scandal,  annual nac cornhole tournament, cornhole nac, north american college cornhole

As you can imagine, I'm curious and concerned. No one should be disciplined for being a homosexual if he is living according to the Church's teaching (or at least making his most sincere effort).  Please guys, drop me a note. By now you should know I protect you anonymity with my life.

Besides, it's American Thanksgiving time again.  That means it's time for the Annual NAC Cornhole Tournament.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013


As per usual,  Father D. is far behind the eight-ball in covering and commenting on current events like the fall session of the USCCB.  At the very beginning, one of the more well connected and serious bloggers posted this picture to his Twitter feed.