Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Career Advice For The Young And Ambitious

One of the things Father likes to do of a Friday evening in November, when not "doing the Stations" (Penn and Grand Central, dear, not those Fourteen Steps to Ultimate Depression, which we reserve for Lent) is wonder among the forgotten "Holy Souls," the Graveyard of Golden Oldies. Amazing how spiritual such a sojourn can be, if one strives "sentire cum Ecclesia." Look it up, you budding Latinists! No, never mind, let Father tell you: "think with the Church" or to paraphrase a la the old ICEL "hear with the ears of a jaded clergyman."

Thus it was that Father stumbled over a charming ditty by that pre-1962 perfidious, but now only in-need-of-conversion, brother Allan Sherman, "When I Was A Lad." As you can imagine, Father is a sucker for show tunes and those who sing them. But this one is SO ecclesial:  N.B. Forward to 23 mins:35 seconds.

"But, Father, but, Father . . . WHAT is 'so ecclesial' about THAT? It's about a dumb-as-a-doorknob hack-flunky who brown-noses his way through school and into an advertising agency and up to the top of the ladder! What's THAT got to do with the Church?"

Well . . . you've obviously NOT gone to "The NAC"! You've obviously NEVER visited your local Chancery!

At the NAC, forget the apples and think cigars . . . if you get my drift.

And why not change a few lyrics: "I sharpened up the pencils so pointedly / That now I have an office at the Chancery!" Sharp objects come in handy for LOTS of things at your average Chancery Office . . . "Palace in Connecticut" can just as easily be the Cape or the Jersey Shore or any reasonable pretentious substitute depending on your Diocese. And lets not even go near those "keys to the powder room, you see, is the key to the structure of the agency."

And if you don't like this posting: do a summer at Creighton, chump, and nine months as "senior altar boy" - and then maybe we'll THINK about diaconate.

IF only I had been more attentive to "polishing the apple" when I was at the PCED, I might still be there now. 


  1. I wish my dear ol' dad would have taught me this lesson waaaaaay before I ever started life (particularly ecclesial life)!
    Who would have known that "sentire cum ecclesia" REALLY meant, as our dear Mr. Sherman teaches us, to "keep your big mouth shut." Live and learn!

    Creighton! Maybe someone should send this little ditty, as a gift, to that "Trinity of Persons" out there running the thing. Oh... and let's not forget good ol' BRRRRRRREEEEEIIIGGGE! "Give us da' heeeealin' LOaarrd!"

    1. What do you mean? Just tell the truth and do your best. Just do the right thing and all will take care of itself! Why are people so cynical on this blog?????

    2. Obviously you, too, have never been to "NAC" or visited a "local chancery". Or Creighton for that matter.

  2. This STILL, to date, is my favorite blog post. Probably because its so true to reality! Of course, corn-holing comes in, no pun intended, a close second.

    1. One of mine as well. Truth be told, this was 90% a guest post.

  3. It's become a holiday tradition of sorts for me to re-read this post and listen to that lovely little ditty. It helps remind me that I'm doing just fine. Those people in their offices and carrying the boss's bags (and holding on to a number of OTHER things, I'm sure!) can have it!

    As a friend of the ghost author, it also helps me remember him and his quick wit, and to say a prayer for me these days.