Tuesday, April 12, 2016

BEATEN DOWN AND BATTERED?

Are feeling beaten down and battered by too much mercy and love lately?
I'm not.
I'm feeling inspired by it actually.
I've just begun reading and digesting the post  synodal exhortation. Why must they be so long?
I'm not going spout off until I'm done reading it.
Anyone read all of it yet?

The Krazy Konverts seem to be having koniptions as expected. 
More later.
Maybe.

Friday, April 1, 2016

THEIR VIEW FOR A WHILE: Suffer the Little Children...



Suffer the little children that come unto me.
Or something like that.


I don’t think it is an actual law of physics that two objects can’t occupy the same space at the same time, but rather a law of frequent airline travel. I am, however, being asked to defy this law and occupy the same space as the bulkhead and the arms of the seat.
Is it Newton’s 3rd Law of the Leges Motus that says that when one body (e.g. mine) exerts a force on another, second body (e.g. the bulkhead, etc), the second body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the first body?  I think Newton underestimated the second body in the case of frequent flying.

Miracles do happen morsels. Every time Father D can pry his ample arse into an airplane seat is proof positive.  Now if the little  bastards children around me would just shut up!

What's your view?





Wednesday, March 16, 2016

ASK FATHER: Confession and Travel



"FATHER, I HAVE A SERIOUS QUESTION...

A priest is on a train travelling south from Boston's South Station at 65pmh to Penn Station in New York City. One hour after Train 1 leaves South Station, Train 2 departs from Penn Station heading north at 50mph filled with passengers seeking to GO TO CONFESSION.
The dining car on Train 1 offers 16oz 'Gansett tall boys for $9 each and the priest aboard Train 1 can consume 2 beers for every 1 bowl of free popcorn.

QUESTION: Will the priest make it to Veselka on 2nd Avenue before closing time?

Father D replies. Pay attention young priests and seminarians.

  1. YES! He will make it, because when Father travelz by rail, especially to a meal, he alwayz removes hiz collar and juzt wearz hiz tactical blackz, so no one bxotherz him. If no one is paying, Father ain't praying. Even for confession. That's what parish clergy are for. Father sayz GO TO CONFESSION! Not to ME per se, but to ones parish priest.

Friday, February 26, 2016

UPDATE, ACTION ALERT AND YOUR NEWS

Sorry folks. Vladyka Eureka of Topeka does not understand the New Evangelization. He seems to want the clergy and laity working together performing the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy to the average unwashed and even the unchurched, for some reason.  He just does not understand the VITALLY important witness that blogging presbyters (and deacons too, I guess) provide for the life of the Church.  He has even attempted to curtail Father's beach outreach ! Imagine!

So here Father is, at three in the morning, typing on his smart phone this vitally important blog post.  Father sacrifices his beauty sleep for you.

ACTION ALERT......At our last fraternal gathering we had a delightful Lenten Supper of lobster tails and calamari followed by a lively discussion about the use of scruple spoons. Will you consider dear readers and readerettes, of buying such a spoon for priests in need? The gentleman who works on commission down at the Missal Leaflette Corporation has kindly offered to keep tabs on the donations (credit cards accepted) and the running list of nuts priests who need one. Come on! Dig in!

TAKING A MORAL STAND....I know some Krazies have been taking swipes at the Girl Scouts and have even passive aggressively encouraged folks not to buy their cookies! Father D will buy twice as many this year. They freeze well.

What's your news? What are the Nutters in your Neighborhood doing?

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

FAT TUESDAY: Mardi Gras 2016


It's Fat Tuesday bitches readers and readerettes!
Well, let's face it, every Tuesday around here is Fat Tuesday.


It has been too cold to sit on my azz around minister on the beaches. Swimmers and surfers are few these days.



So Father D has been locked in my semi eremetical cell
(aka the padded room on Four South at the Archbishop Milingo Mental Health and Marriage Encounter Institute.) Father has been given a special assignment with the ICEL (International Committee for Esperanto in the Liturgy) tasked with translating the latest edition of the Roman Missal into Esperanto. It's a useless job and Father is the most qualified to do it.

So, tomorrow begins the Great Fast. Well for you Latins it begins tomorrow. For most Eastern Catholics, it began yesterday. (If you ever have a chance to attend a Maronite Ash Monday liturgy, make sure you do. Beautiful!  But I digress.)

Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow begins a season of penance, fasting and abstinence.

No no, Father is not giving up blogging for Lent. I can't afford to! The lean days come more and more frequently!  REMEMBER....Part of fasting is alms giving. Yes! The money you don't spend on food should be given to this priest the poor!  So fork it over. Amazon, PayPal or postal money order, please. (Seems the IRS has taken an interest in Fathers bank accounts, so let's keep the cash flowing sub voce and sub radar, eh?)


Saturday, January 30, 2016

NEWS AND VIEWS: WTF is goin' on in yous guys lives....

Hello morsels. 

It's been a long time since Father has posted. As you can see, its been a rough winter. You see, Father has had a hemorrhoid flair up that has kept him off his ample ass. I've been under an order by Vladyka Eureka of 
Topeka to stay off my ass and on my feet in either personal prayer, liturgy or in service to others. (Not to mention my three days off each week spent making myself available to those surfers and beach goers seeking confession and council, but I digress!
So even though my special doughnut seat cushion has yet to arrive by UPS from my Amazon Wishlist (thank you Venerable Canon for said gift) I'm making the painful sacrifice to sit at my computer and type this post. ( or I'm at the beach typing on my tablet with one finger.... who knows for sure? Who really cares as long as I spill the beans, so to speak?)

So, for the record, NO, I have NOT taken the job as chaplain for those fine sisters engaged in an avant guard  healing ministry out in California. 

Here is a new post so ya'll can chime in on what you hear and read without having to wait for comment approval. (Blogger automatically holds comments for review on older posts.)


For all you arse kissers and up and comers still humbly seeking to climb the ladder (that leads only to the chute straight to perdition) reserve (and pay for) your tickets now for the Rector's  Dinner in April. Contact the Office of Institutional Advancement (that's Fundraising and Cash Flow for those that don't read Latin!)
for more information. 
SPECIAL NOTE TO TALENT SCOUTS: There is a preview video available for this years tap dancers and soloists.  Please inquire.


Be sure to tell them Uncle Jim sent you.

Father has heard some whispers about a new student anthem at the NAC. We've found one rendition that we will share with ya'll.
NSFW.






Tuesday, January 5, 2016

WONDERFUL SISTERS SEEKING PRIEST CHAPLAIN

Father Z was the first to report this, (really-- click the link...)but I wouldn't be Father D if I didn't follow up....

Mother Kate, CBD, wrote saying that the Sisters of the Valley need a priest chaplain.  They would like both the Extraordinary and the Ordinary Form of the Roman Rite.  These are not LCWR nuns but they could be.


I asked for some details and she sent back:
Chaplain of 10 sisters – Daily Mass in convent field shrine. (Ex Form about 4 x per week, Ordinary Form 2-3 x per week) LOTS of incense!
– Confessions 1x per year around Easter time 
– Benediction 1 x per quarter or when a donor asks for it 
– Spiritual Direction (light (none of that Ignatian crap), only as needed), Blessing of items from time to time (for a stipend) 
– a “day off” each week (if you're willing to drive to Mexico on that day) 
Residence in Cathedral Rectory Suite, (private entrance so other clergy can't  spy on you) in Santa Rosa, CA, 5/8 mile from convent- smaller city in Wine Country, near Napa Valley CA, but still close to specialty bars and clubs, Mediterranean Climate (beautiful vicinity and fertile soil!)

Rector of Cathedral may negotiate additional duties of hearing parish confessions and offering an occasional public Mass at the faithful Cathedral Parish depending on whether or not the chaplain would like to be in parish life. (And for a few extra bucks for just and occasional Mass, who wouldn't!)

Additional Notes: This community of sisters is contemplative/active and was canonically approved by 2012 by Bishop Robert Vasa. [A fine fellow but not so great a prelate.] There are 4 professed sisters, 4 novices, 1 postulant and several in application/discernment (they are growing... indeed they are growing.... some really good shit!) Just look at them celebrating "recreation"!





They have a distinct Marian Spirituality based on St. Louis de Montfort’s total consecration to Jesus through Mary 


The sisters’ main apostolates function around 
1. Healing the Sick and Suffering, care of Church
and the spiritual and practical support of the priesthood especially those that need to chill the fuck out. 
2. Communicating the Catholic Faith – Catholic Education, Catechesis, Retreat Talks on meditation, chilling out, being cool, and the like…

They hold respected positions in the diocese and are supported by the Bishop who loves their product.

The sisters are proficient in the knowledge and practice of liturgical norms, music and ceremonies for both forms of the Roman Rite, the Folk Mass and the Choir Mass.


Financial offerings for services rendered are very open and negotiable, especially if you're willing to deliver product to patients while on sick calls. Room and board are provided and possibly a car if needed. I know some older priests who'd probably love to help out !$!$!$!$! Like our Vicar General:



Even Father Z likes to chill with the sisters


Inquiry Contact: SrM.Ganga@potsisters.com
Or visit their Facebook Page 

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