Friday, November 28, 2014

Morning Has Broken & the Black Friday Funnies Arrive

Usually the Funnies do not arrive until the Sunday Paper hits the hermitage door step.  Perhaps a Black Friday special here in the USA.  

When I checked my email there were some forty attempts to post that were derailed by the spam filters.  But someone has even less of a life than Fr. D.  Imagine how pathetic that is!  

I'm not hip, I'm not happening. I'm not even all that bright.  Heck I know my I.Q. is so low that if I had managed to make it into and successfully out of the Pontifical North American College, I would have my own diocese.  Heck, I'm such a spineless idiot, I would probably have been made successor to Fulton Sheen's old See.

The night before Thanksgiving I decided to turn off comments for the most recent posts.  After a post is about a week old, the blogger system sends all comments to  be moderated.  Usually I approve the comment, unless it's advertising. 

Once in a while, someone is so special, they deserve to have their comment highlighted.  Somethings are just meant to be shared.

With love, Fr D
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Ask Father D: Hand Positions During Mass: The Fick...":

Hows ya doin D? Hows yr unmentionables? Hurd ya done yaself a mischif, and das callin ua one hung lo. Didnt no use was chinese, D. Ya hides it well. In fct I's dicided to call ye one hung low cos I thinks it suits ya.

Mark as spam

Moderate comments for this blog. 

Posted by Anonymous to Father D's Blog at November 28, 2014 at 6:18 AM


7:29 AM (6 hours ago)
to me
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Ask Father D: Hand Positions During Mass: The Fick...":
Yous gettin a little titchy one hung lo - cant tak th heat? Alwas th wais wit yous jkers. Yous surs a funi lot yous cathlics. I jus likes 2 com arnd and sees wot yous up to ths das. Whn life gits borin I knos I can haf a laf at yous one hung lo. Has yous gt problm wit yrs unmensibles? mb thts y yous spnds yr lif on this here blog. I thord maybe yous wd go to th Vatticano and see ol frankie. He's a wit tht ol franki - yous Cathlics sur is hard ta fathm. Yous sems to hate one anthr. At lest we baptists we stick 2gethr. We don hav an ol man like your ol Franki. Yous also i thk gt a prostat prblm - xplains yr posts. Man wit prostat prblm he sur run off at th mth. Yous gt no girlsfrnd ethr one hung? Shm bt thn man with protrat prblm no good to no grl ethr. Wl hopes you njoi mi post. 


I hope each and every one of you had a good Thanksgiving. I did.
A morning Liturgy with many more family in attendance than I had expected, followed by a late afternoon dinner with family, both biological and adopted by choice. Family has different meanings to different people.  Family by blood, family through marriage and family by selective adoption.  By selective adoption I mean the people that we enjoy so much we wish we were related and spend a good deal of time together.  I had a good great day with my warped and bended  and majorly extended, family.  Lots of laughs. Especially over coffee and some chat about this blog and the recent nastiness in the comments.

Gratuitous Zed like meal out photo from my photo camera

Shuffling home to my quasi imitation semi monastic palatial cell I began to surf the net a bit for some holiday shopping and updated my amazon (yeah don't start on me...) wish list for my family who claim they never have an idea as to what to buy me. (black socks and handkerchiefs are ALWAYS welcome. Boring huh? ) Then my attention turned to a couple blogs I follow where I saw this....

Swiped from Zed's blog. Who could really make this up?

Which, of course, was found here.  Why do I even bother? Sometimes a parody just writes itself.  Or the silliness becomes manifest just by pointing to it and laughing. 

Of course he hung it up in the steamy trunk pipe back door evacuation venue.

Sometimes it's funny. Other times, it makes me feel sad for him.
I think he's an unhappy and lonely man.
I couldn't make this up if I wanted to. 

Blogger has been marking some of the vile comments as spam, and I'm leaving them there.  It seems to help the system weed them out via IP address. 

Advent is fast upon us. As such posts will probably diminish quite a bit, and if the comments get too mean and vile, I will moderate or just turn them off. I love freedom of exchange of information, ideas, humor and even a few sharp barbs when they're called for. Outright meanness and sexual raunchiness, not so much. 

Thursday, November 27, 2014


Note:  Commenting is off for the holiday.  Enjoy yours!

Monday, November 24, 2014


Father Major Minor Superior Welcomes you to 2015
Even though the Brotherhood is still living in 1815

Mother MaryJohn Cunnewicke has turned us on to the Transylvanian Redemptorists annual calendar.

I can think of few Calendars ... yes, this is the season, is it not, when people give each other calendars...and other swell toys for bad little boys  (not to mention communicable diseases).. which are more spectacular than that of the Who's Your Papa Transylvanian Spiritual Vampire Redemptorists.
Breath-taking photographs of intimate yet exquisite liturgy alternate with pictures of the breath-taking scenery as the Brethren go about their tasks on the island, not to mention other breathtaking intimacies. True Tridentine Eye Candy as others might say.  In terms of vestments, I love the shots of the working habits: the habits worn during hard labour, (if you know what I mean) with the leather hems worn and torn. July shows Fr Michael Mary and two brethren walking past a farm gate which I think may have been the one which they kindly and carefully opened for me ... and then cheerfully commented "The Bishop Fellay Show just vaulted over that"! My guess is the sheep took to hoof lickety-split when they saw that august prelate's under cassock bloomers flashing in the island's fiery sunset... but I digress...

"There are fairies at the bottom of our garden . . . "

Do you want to know the important centenaries which occur in 2015? (Wasn't Rev'd Father Hunewicke's Absolutely Null and Utterly Void Anglican ordination in 1915?) Would you like an attractive iconic painting of the Divine Child, kilted and wearing the Crown of Scotland (a marvellously beautiful late medieval crown, quite unlike the rather boring English Crown which had to be remade after the Great Rebellion) accompanied by a poem by S Robert Southwell which can be sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne? (Yeah. Kilted Jesus.WTF) This Calendar is truly and totally unique. Literally unique! (and probably illegal in several countries) And it has all the details needed for it to serve as a daily ORDO for the 1962 rite. (What other VALID rite is there really?)

Golgotha Monastery & Stigmata Blood Lab Island
Papa Benedetto Please Don't Go!
KY 69-666


NAC Tap Dancing Instructors 

Saturday, November 22, 2014


In an attempt to respond (so quickly he even didn't waste time putting on his zucchetto and shoulder cape)  in a sensitive pastoral manner to the concerns expressed (repeatedly and loudly) by the ever submissive, yet never submitting, boys over at RetRorate, His Holiness Pope Francis convened the gang of cardinal advisers to discuss the ways in which they could make Sunday's canonization of six new saints longer (=holier).

They decided to implement the following.

Immediately after the invocation (Father, Son and Holy Spirit GHOST) the Franciscan Friars  of the Immaculate (all fifteen left) will chant, recto tono, the complete Roman Martyrology.
After the Gospel,  all seven versions of the Nicene Creed will be recited in Latin and Greek and the vernacular language of each newly canonized saint.

At the conclusion of Mass, before the recession, all four Marian Antiphons will be chanted as a round,  by the Three Irish Tenors.

Friday, November 21, 2014


The Most Reverend Robert Morlino of the Diocese of Madison (Zed's Bishop for intents and purposes) does not like his photo taken. Really.  When a reporter, at a public talk, in a public location, by a public leader, would not stop taking his picture, The Most Reverend Bishop stopped the presentation, and moved it to St. Augustine University
Parish, the Catholic student center on campus, which is  property owned by the diocese.

As you can see, the Most Reverend XXXtrordinary  ordinary does NOT like to have his photo taken. Respect, please journalists. Respect.  Geez. He don't get no respect

Okay, the constant clicking was distracting. The brightness of the flash made it hard to look up during the talk. 

The threat of being cornered into a selfie was outright terrifying (and a violation of diocesan boundaries protocols) never mind that Pope Francis seems to love having them taken. 

But the last get-your-face-outta-my-space came when the reporter whipped out the wide angle lens. That's just plain cruel. 

Tuesday, November 18, 2014


The real reason Father Z went to Paris and bravely stayed in that horrible Le (sic) Hôtel Sans Internet.

Six hour drive with a nice overnight stay in a religious house.

The hills are alive!
In the town of Ecône