Monday, September 22, 2014

RITA? WHO'S RITA? Ordinariate Faire 2014

Members of the Personal Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham from the length and breadth of Britain were in London over the weekend of 19-21 September for the Ordinariate's first ever festival.

Our beloved Mother M. John Cunniwicke has posted a very revealing entry about the recent Renaissance Ordinariate Faire Festival of which we were able to obtain some exclusive photos.
Cuniwicke tells us, "Somebody whose name I cannot now quite remember used to keep saying,  RITA!"  However, I'm not sure who Rita is.  I know who Martha is, (As in Arthur and Martha) and I am told Gladys is in East Anglia and Ethel is in Melbourne. No one seems to know Rita!

Reverend Mother tells us the Fest was "absolutely glorious ... you could tell it was all clicking superbly by the way that everybody laughed at even the slightest provocation."  Indeed!  



Many old and new faces where there. 
It seems even Father John Crappie came out for the event.  Who knew!






 Wouldn't be a proper fest without a representative from the Dominican Rite.  Especially since those who were planning to serve in the Inquisition's Rack and Ruin Ministry during the Cardinal Capote pontificate seem now to have lots of extra time on their hands. While the photo is not quite as clear as we might like, I'm certain this Friar is not Larry Lew.  Perhaps Auggie Thompson?








Prelates of every rank were present.






















Perhaps a future Ordinary and his spouse from a yet to be formed, by popular demand no doubt, ordinariate for Fantasy Island. This heterosexual couple is obviously not from this ordinariate.





But Father, but Father... Mother Cunniwicke tells us there were "loads and loads" of laity as well! All you've shown us so far is all the clergy.

Yes. Well. You should know by now, readers and readerettes, that those who have been ontologically elevated to dizzying heights of metaphysical  superiority take pride of place in matters ecclesiastical. Without those who have had hands laid upon them and anointed with Oil, there would be no church.  Then where would you be?  Hmmm?  Probably sailing down the river of sin on Satan's pleasure raft!

Yes the unwashed and un-anointed laity were there.







 



A GLIMPSE OF THINGS TO COME?


Wouldn't that just cause mass apoplexy in certain spheres!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

EXPLOSIVELY MIND-BLOWING: The Pianist: Conclavial Conspiracies and Synodal Shenanigans. One of our nuttiest ever!


Michael Davies may still be dead, but RetRorate's Mystery Pianist and, as is obvious from his "The-Carnival-Is-NOT-Over-Yet, Frankie" choice of vesture, ardent supporter of The Reform of the Reform, has apparently made contact with the website from his piano aboard the Mother Ship (hovering very close to Econe these days) with shocking revelations of conclavial conspiracies and synodical shenanigans.

Not since Cardinal Siri was elected as Gregory XVII and then blackmailed into letting Roncalli become Pope, or since the real Paul VI was abducted to Malta and replaced by the impostor who allowed the Freemason Bugnini to Protestantize the Roman liturgy, have so many black helicopters passed out this many tinfoil hats!

Best call out Michael Voris' Church Militant Temple Police before the Synod proceedings are high-jacked like the Conclave of 2013, and the Eucharistic Jesus finds himself once again eating with tax-collectors and sinners. Remember how that messed up a previous generation of Scribes and Pharisees!

Or at least such are the messages purported to be overheard at a sumptuous dinner that probably featured Fr ZZ (Top)'s Chilled Widow and Saint Gennaro's Tainted Sausage.

For the rest of you, Fr. D says: If the Eerie Benedictines didn't calm your Bergoglio-ISIS rattled nerves, head on back to the Ed Sullivan Show and give this a listen!




PS Now that we've had some fun with our favorite Katholic Krazies, we can close this little spoof with a very quick Italian lesson . . . "Piano", as it appears in the original Tosatti piece means "plan". "Pianoforte" is the Italian word for the musical instrument. So Tosatti is not even using "piano" as a metaphor. You know, I've often said that I don't get out much and like to make people laugh. But seriously, if you're going to devote your blog to slandering the Vicar of Christ, and even welcome converts, not to mention priests, as translators to join in the hatchet job, you really ought to see if you can find someone who knows Italian. Just Fr D's two lire . . . 

Saturday, September 20, 2014

CONSERVATIVE CARDINALS CONFRONT COMPULSIVE COMPASSION

Their new blockbuster book is entitled:

REMAINING IN THE TABERNACLE:
Keeping Jesus Safely Locked Away
From Divorced and Other Deviant Catholics


No one expected such a coordinated attack against Cardinal Kasper and, by implication, against Pope Francis.

But then, no one ever expects these guys!

Cardinals Müller, Brandmüller and Caffarra at Ignatius Press' Meet-Greet-and-Anathematize
Known as "The Fiery Five," only three of the Cardinal contributors, Cardinals Müller, Brandmüller and Caffarra, were available for the book's roll-out at Ignatius Press headquarters yesterday.

Cardinal Capote was on his way to Chicago where he had expected to be named Archbishop, while Cardinal DePaolis was taking part, uncharacteristically, in an interfaith celebration, assisting Muslim clerics in Teheran administer 91 lashes each to the Iranian students who danced to Pharrell's "Happy" in an Internet viral video.

Cardinal Müller explained the inspiration behind this so-to-be-hailed-as-classic: "As the Bergoglio tsunami of compulsive compassion threatens to sweep away centuries of black-and-white in a muddy ooze of feel-good beige, someone had to stick their finger in the dyke dike, and we figured why settle for a finger when five can make a fist? I mean, smelling like the sheep is one thing but feeding the dogs . . . you know what I mean . . . "

A page-turner for sure!


And with today's news that Cardinal Capote was not named to Chicago and that the Pope (what a coincidence!) has appointed a commission to reform the annulment process already causing incomprehensible stammering in Madison and a four-chain-thurible-meltdown-cum-bugia-burnout at RetRorate, where nerves were already frayed by the realization that Michael Davies is still dead and digestion seriously impeded by the ingestion of a bad text in Rome and a tainted sausage in New York, this hefty tome (304 uplifting pages!) arrives not a moment too soon to get everyone's minds off compassion and back on laying down the law!

If more audio-visual healing is needed, Fr D humbly suggests something that always works for him, especially after watching a Michael Voris' militant mania:








See if you cant find this familiar face.


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

CARDINAL CAPOTE: Ray Gonna Go? Say It Isn't So!

Expert on Canon Law and Marriage Raymond Leo Cardinal Capote (center) saunters in the Roman Summer heat.
This is the Sando Magister post that everyone and her sister have their lace and brocade panties all knotted up over.

It's no secret that Cardinal Burke isn't Father D's favorite Cardinal. Who am I to judge?  I don't know Card. Burke at all.  I don't know him well enough to tell him apart from Truman Capote in drag if they were both tap dancing in front of me.  But, I am willing to bet that as a judge he is a fair interpreter of the law.  Father Z tells me that he (Capote-Burke) is a man of deep spiritual resources.  He will be fine.  Do, however, say a prayer for him regularly.  Every Cardinal needs regular prayers!  Especially the older ones.  Imagine how the irregularity targets Cardinals, especially real anal retentive defenders of tradition.  It’s a terrifying prospect. 

The same people grieving now were the ones who gloated when Archbishop Piero Marini was moved. The same ones wailing and gnashing their partial plates now were the ones crowing "Cafeteria Closed" way back when.

One hopes that in the joy of the kingdom Merry del Val and Alfred Loisy are toasting the Lamb who is worthy, while Teilhard de Chardin and Alfredo Ottaviani join the heavenly hosts in chanting the Thrice-holy Hymn.


'It is, moreover, Our will that Catholics should abstain from certain appellations which have recently been brought into use to distinguish one group of Catholics from another. They are to be avoided not only as "profane novelties of words," out of harmony with both truth and justice, but also because they give rise to great trouble and confusion among Catholics. Such is the nature of Catholicism that it does not admit of more or less, but must be held as a whole or as a whole rejected: "This is the Catholic faith, which unless a man believe faithfully and firmly; he cannot be saved" (Athanas. Creed). There is no need of adding any qualifying terms to the profession of Catholicism: it is quite enough for each one to proclaim "Christian is my name and Catholic my surname," only let him endeavour to be in reality what he calls himself.'

Pope Benedict XV,
Ad Beatissimi Apostolorum, 1 Nov 1914
 

Sunday, September 14, 2014

HALF A HOST AT MOST

HALF A HOST AT MOST: Mixing Novus Ordo and Summorum Pontificum and Anglicanorum Coetibus and Regular Old Anglican Hosts: the Problem
Which host has the most?
I don't know about you, but Fr D feels so relieved to know that even though Madison, WI is far away, and Merry Olde England is even more distant, thanks to the Internet, Truth is just a click away in these times of spiritual Communion. 


TLM hosts are made only by elderly virgin nuns,
so be sure you're not short changed!
For instance, didn't you ever wonder: what if the Hosts from the Summorum Pontificum real Immortal Mass of Saint Pius V and Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI get mixed in with the Hosts from that Novus Ordo Vatican II-Taize-Bugnini-Montini Masonic hybrid service that 99.9% of the Roman Catholic Church considers to be the Ordinary Form of the Mass?

No way to tell what you're getting, right? 

Wrong! Reverend Mother M. John Cunniwicke has the answer for you here

Of course, on his way from utterly null and absolutely void to utterly nutty and absolutely daft, Cunniwicke had to confront a problem that makes him of invaluable assistance to people who wonder as they wander the labyrinthine ways between Regular Anglicans and Anglicanorum Coetibus.

Like poor Delia here, who seeks enlightenment:


I hope you don't mind answering this question, Father, which is a bit off topic. When visiting an Anglo-Catholic church, perhaps looking at the architecture, what should one do if there is a tabernacle and a red lamp? Genuflect or not? Given that Anglican orders are invalid, the answer should be not, but what if the particular priest was validly ordained through that legitimate succession (can't remember what it is called)? Not that one would necessarily know, of course. Hitherto I've compromised by bowing my head, but I should be grateful for authoritative guidance. Thanks!
05 September, 2014

Well, knowing how UNHAPPY Rev Mother Cunniwicke is with Leo XIII (and Pius XII and Paul VI and John XXIII and Francis), old Delia's gonna be told to bend the knee!!!
But what if ........



OH NO!!!
Now your Tabernacle is REALLY mixed up!!!!
Relax!!! Cunniwicke clears it all up:

Dear Delia

I'm not sure I can give authoritative judgements! By the way, In Anglican churches the tabernacle or aumbry light is white, not red (I think that was what the pre-conciliar rules actually prescribed, but I've never checked it).

Personally, I don't genuflect if the notice board has revealed to me that the Minister is a woman! I do otherwise, leaving any dubieties to God.

Best wishes

John Hunwicke

So - If Regular MALE transubstantiated sort-of Hosts deserve a genuflection and FEMALE no-way-transubstantiated Hosts do not, I'm guessing a mixed up ciborium gets this:


 
 Remember, Pope Francis is the Pope of Christian Unity!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

SLIM FOR HIM MADISON EDITION



The Madison WI Chapter of Slim for HIM meets for their monthly weigh-in, work-out and wine tasting event, which gathers just before the Pints & Pipes for Pussies event at Saint Mary's Pine Bluff.  Update Monday September 15, 2014

I should have posted this picture with the following text in blue and left it at that. 
 
Pints and Pipes gather in Pine Bluff.

One wonders, if the walk in confessional is open for business during these gatherings.  

Having been called to task by my readers for an outright ad hominem, "mean" and "uncharitable" attack (which I am thankful for by the way-- as you are all absolutely correct) I am faced with the choice of "owning my shit" or pulling down the post and pretending it never happened.

To just pull it down without comment is an act of cowardice.  Other bloggers when called on the carpet for something they become ashamed of take the post down without comment or apology. 

The initial post was mean and outright uncalled for.  My apologies to my readers, Father Z, Father Heilman, Father Sternberg and Bishop Morlino.

Don't blog angry my friends. It will always lead you to trouble.